8 Simple Rules (TV Series)

Pilot (2002)

John Ritter: Paul Hennessy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Bridget walks downstairs dressed in tight pants and a short shirt] 

  Paul : Uh, Bridget, why are you dressed like that?

  Kerry : Must be casual sex day at school.

  Bridget : Hey, at least I get...

  [Paul turns to Bridget] 

  Bridget : ...Look good.

  Paul : Okay, Cupcake, I think you missed the word "under" in underwear because I can see your bra and that slingshot your wearing under your pants.

  Bridget : It's a thong.

  Paul : It's floss.

  Bridget : I can't wear anything else. Panty lines - Hello?

  Paul : Panty lines - Hello, are fine. Actually they were a pretty big deal in my day.

  Bridget : Well, we're the thong generation.

  Paul : Well, maybe that's why your generation is so angry. Your always walking around with a wedgie!

• Bridget : Mom says I'm ready to drive.

  Paul : Mom also thought I was ready for fatherhood.

• Paul : [after seeing Kerry and Bridget run up and latch themselves onto boys, Paul leans out his car's window with sack lunches]  Bridgie! Kerr Bear! You forgot your lunches! You're welcome!

• Paul : Kyle, just so you know, if you ever pull into my driveway and honk, you better be delivering a package because you're sure as hell not picking anything up.

• [after Kyle gets off the phone with a girl named Lindsay] 

  Kyle : Uh, Mr. Hennessy -...

  Paul : Please, Sensei. Lindsay, huh? You have other girlfriends, Kyle, and that's fine with me.

  Kyle : Sweet!

  Paul : As long as it's okay with my daughter. Otherwise, you will continue to date her and no one but her, until she is finished with you. Because if you make her cry, I will make you cry.

• Cate : [during a very long "family meeting" where Paul speaks seemingly endlessly]  Uh, Paul, I have a turkey in the oven.

  Paul : No, you don't.

  Cate : If I did, it would be done by now.