- Sally Solomon: You could never handle my job.
- Harry Solomon: I could do it with my eyes closed.
- Tommy Solomon: You do everything with your eyes closed.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Mary and I used to be like champagne, fresh and bubbly. But now, we've been uncorked too long. We're lukewarm, flat, collecting flies and there's a cigarette butt floating in us.
- [Mrs Dubcek has been cavorting with her new boyfriend, then suddenly turns up in the Solomons' kitchen]
- Mrs. Dubcek: Do you have anything for rope burns?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I want ceaseless joy and never-ending passion like Romeo and Juliet.
- Dr. Mary Albright: They both wound up dead.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Antony and Cleopatra.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Dead.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: That couple from Wuthering Heights.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Insane and dead.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Drunk, insane, and dead.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Tristan und Isolde.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Abgeschossen.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Aha, Siegfried and Roy.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Okay, one.
- [to rejuventate their relationship, Dick surprises Mary while she's teaching a class]
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I've done some shaving. Somewhere on my body you will discover a tufted heart.
- [Mary and Dick are eating Chinese after attending a kegger and playing strip poker]
- Dr. Mary Albright: So, you glad we tried something new?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Not really. It made me uncomfortable, and cold... and kind of shrivelly.
- Dr. Mary Albright: [Winning yet again at strip poker] Read 'em and weep!
- Leon: [sighing] Goodbye, underwear...
- Bug: Leon, you've still got your socks on, buddy!
- Leon: [Continues removing his underwear] My feet get cold.
- Sally Solomon: [as Tommy and August enter] Oh, hey, guys, look what I've been doing today! Crossword puzzle!
- [shows them]
- Tommy Solomon: What's digfa?
- Sally Solomon: Apparently, it's the capital of France.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Who can teach me the fine art of romance - who?
- Mrs. Dubcek: [Entering] Hi, hi, hi! Do you have anything for rope burns?
- Dr. Mary Albright: Now it's time for a little bedtime story.
- [Reading from a romance novel]
- Dr. Mary Albright: Finally, his eyes came to rest on the lush, mossy valley from which all pleasure springs.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: What are you reading to me, a hiking guide?