This movie, produced literally with less than what you could buy a new TV set with, is a hallmark of the brilliant independent film-making presented here by the actors/directors, Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka and Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen. In the hands of anyone else, this seemingly confusing script would have been a disaster - but Kyanka and Bowen pull all the right moves, and produce a film that should sit on any true movie lover's DVD shelf, be them a serious movie collector or merely a casual fan of the medium.
The movie opens with Reginald P. Linux (played masterfully by Kyanka) in a monologue about his sad past as he drives to what he hopes will be a new life. He speaks of the death of his wife, and the intense depression that followed. And so he began the search for the house of his dreams, but in Reginald's own words, "Be careful what you dream for, because you just might get it."
He then drives up and decides to enter the newfound house of his dreams, hauling his luggage and some wrapped-up carpet with him. Despite his enthusiasm with the house - and his amazement to see that it's already decorated - he immediately notices something is unusual about his homestead. Darting across the room of the kitchen, he spots something most unusual... a strange figurine. The figurine stares menacingly at him, to his puzzlement... of course, he sets this aside out of the sheer joy of moving in to his new house. But he nonetheless can feel a chill of fear in the air.
Later in the day, he notices that the doll has moved - without any clue as to how or why. Now sensing that something is seriously wrong, he takes the doll and throws it out. Happy that he's taken care of that problem, he then goes back to his daily business.
Back in his house, Reginald begins reading "Fear", an ironic foreshadowing of the plot that is about to unfold. Amidst this, the doll appears again, out of nowhere. Reginald now senses that something is not just seriously wrong, but terribly wrong, and does what's necessary to dispose of the doll once and for all: Putting it in the garbage disposal. ("You're garbage. So I'm gonna treat you like garbage. In the disposal.") What follows is a bone-chilling scene of gruesome horror, largely due to the incredibly use of sound, and Kyanka's hard-as-nails performance. The look in his eyes tells you that he knows the feeling killing a doll gives him. He growls with satisfaction as the doll is torn apart. It pierces right through your TV screen.
Later, as it comes time to "hit the old bedstack", as Kyanka's classic line goes, Reginald goes to sleep - T-shirt and shorts and all. When he wakes up, he is confronted once again with the menacing doll. Now on the verge of insanity, Kyanka delivers what is probably the best scene in the movie with his cries of, "Leave my happy house!" and "Why?!" He scrambles to run from the terror, only to be confronted by it once more. He cannot hide. He cannot escape. He then receives a phone call which inspired more terror in me than the infamous "seven days" phone call from The Ring. Now scared beyond belief, he calls his only hope: The police.
Enter Kevin "Fragmaster" Bowen, delivering quite possibly the best performance of his career. He then tells Reginald that he's found evidence. "Evidence of... a doom house!" Reginald could only respond with disbelief. The officer advises Reginald to leave at once, then clumsily stumbles out - himself shaken with terror from the mere experience of being in the house.
Unwilling to take the officer's advice, Reginald continues to stay in his new doom house. Late in the night, the police officer once again knocks at Reginald's door, telling him to move out at once, again. Reginald, again struck with endless disbelief, stays in his newfound home, going off to play on what would appear to be an old video game system. However, in the middle of his enjoyment of the game, he is confronted with a horrible sight - the doll appears right on his TV screen.
Reginald then hears another strange knock at the door, only to have the same police officer enter. It became clear that the officer has an agenda, with his freudian slips - "You still haven't moved out of this murder house - doom house." (a brilliant use of foreshadowing on Bowen's part)
In the next scene, the cop's agenda becomes 100% clear - he is the one orchestrating the doom house. ("I'm inside his basement. And inside his MIND.") Following this horrible revelation, he is revealed to be an agent of Al Qaeda, trying to protect a terrorist burial ground. Reginald decides to take matters into his own hands, uttering a classic line in the process. ("Take this doll head, you towel head.")
I won't spoil how the story ends, for it's the most chilling and memorable part of this epic. I will say that it completely changed how I viewed the film - and it will do the same for you.
Interesting fact: the title of the movie is initially misspelled in the opening scene, spelled as "Doom Hose" instead, as a clever way of playing with your mind. It's immediately corrected, just in time to get you thinking about how silly a doom hose would be. The movie has no shortage of brilliant psychological elements just like this one.
All in all, a horror classic for the ages. Any true movie fan should see this, it's definitely Kyanka and Fragmaster's finest effort.
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