Three Wise Guys (2004 TV Movie) User Reviews

Yikes...another movie with so much potential BUT...

[wtbe7560 · 5/10 · 9 December 2005]

I saw the premiere of Three Wise Guys last night, and I have to say, wow. This movie had so much potential, yet it came up way short. Had this movie been made by HBO, it would've been much better.

The movie stars Nick Turturro, Eddie McClintock, and Judd Nelson as three "wise guys" who work for Tom Arnold's character Murray, a casino owner in Las Vegas. One of Murray's employees is about to turn rat, and the three wise guys are dispatched. These guys are supposed to be hit men, yet no one pulls a gun until the last 20 minutes of the movie. The only one of the three that even acts like a hired killer is Judd Nelson, who portrays brooding George. When they think the guy they were supposed to rough up has had a heart attack and died, all three act like they've never seen a dead body before.

Anyhow, they end up bungling the whole affair, and have to run down the pregnant mistress of the boss to get back a stolen computer disk. The pregnant suit they have the poor girl wearing is not very convincing. She runs (not waddles), and when she rests her hands on her belly you can see creases in the foam padding.

Keeping in mind that this is a B movie, they have the obligatory Roddy Piper cameo. (as a priest!) Katey Sagal plays the mobster's wife who doesn't seem very upset that her husband has been screwing a showgirl and may have gotten her pregnant, and there are tons of vague references to other Christmas stories (the drummer the wise guys are chasing is named Jacob Marley, etc). For some reason, most of Tom Arnold's dialog seems overdubbed.

Not a bad movie, a few chuckles, I guess you can't really ask for much from a made for TV USA B-movie. This could've been SO much better.

Not exactly It's A Wonderful Life

[Zoooma · 6/10 · 14 June 2014]

Not your ordinary Christmas movie fare. It's a reworking of the Nativity done sorta mob style, out of Las Vegas and in the Nevada desert, but in a Made-for-TV way, lightened up without the swearing and such for the American television USA Network. Good cast with Judd Nelson, Tom Arnold, Katey Sagal and others. Judd was underused and Arnold didn't have a big enough part. The Angel Boreanz wannabe (Eddie McClintock) was the real star. I never even heard of the dude before this! He does a great job, fake accent and all, and it all comes together nicely. Not exceptional but some light entertainment value to be sure.

5.6 / 10 stars

--Zoooma, a Kat Pirate Screener

Fun piece of holiday fluff

[jadetastic · 7/10 · 23 December 2006]

I watched this movie because I was stuck in the hospital, got out 12/22/06, and needed something not-too-involved to do while waiting for discharge orders and paperwork, and blah blah blah. So, I got pulled into this movie by Joey, who (I thought to myself...) really wants to be David Boreanez. Then I realized that *that* is very uncharitable to Eddie McClintock. It's not his fault that the wardrobe people dressed him like a pulp-fiction gangster with Angel's hairstyle and leather jacket. One character I found exceptionally likable was Katey Sagal's "Mrs. C." She somehow managed to pull off a sweetly devoted wife while sending off the vibe that she could be one dangerous woman if the situation called for it.

Anyway, I got sucked in, and found myself really enjoying this film. Many of the tongue-in-cheek references to the Christmas story of Jesus's birth with a healthy dash of pop culture were very clever, and I chuckled to myself frequently (that might have been the pain meds, though...see above reference to my hospital stay). It wasn't until the end that I "got" Boy and Girl were Joey/Joseph and Mary, and that it was a stable of sorts they were in, not a farm outbuilding (I realize, of course, that's what a stable is, but...oh, you know what I mean).

Three Wise Guys moved along at a pleasant pace, not so fast as to seem unrealistic in its timing or too quickly to miss the jokes, and not so slow that you lose sight of where the plot must be going.

If I had to pick a couple of elements that I just didn't like, the first would be...how many women who are THAT pregnant are so un-swollen that they could wear boots like that? How many 9-months pregnant women could *walk* in boots like that? For that matter, how many massively-pregnant women could run, crouch, pee behind a bush, and basically out-think and out-maneuver 3 professional hit men? It shouldn't have been much of a competition, if one at all...especially with her in those boots, and all.

Secondly, there were a few Biblical references that were just out-and-out over the top. While some were cute (I particularly liked the fact that the Drummer's name was Jake Marley, and the name of the town where they finally caught up with him was named Pahrump), some were foppish and awkward (the pan of the sign for the city of Nazareth, for example, was just overtly obvious, and the doling out of presents after the birth of Baby was a mite bit clichéd).

All in all, I think this was a light, cute, entertaining piece of holiday fluff. Probably not destined to become the classics that The Christmas Story (how that became a holiday standard, I'll never understand) and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation have become (in regards to modern classics, that is; nothing holds a candle to the old stand-bys Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life), but a fun piece of entertainment nonetheless.

great Christmas movie!

[lisacturpin · 10/10 · 8 December 2005]

I just finished watching this movie and I must say that I loved it! I am NOT a TV watcher, I just do not have the time but I happened to pass by the channel it was on and it instantly caught my eye. It's a feel good movie and is great for the family to watch! The chemistry between the actors was great and it was so much fun to watch. The three wise guys were funny and likable, all of whom did a great job. I just love Judd Nelson and have always found him funny..but the other two I didn't recognize. They were awesome! And the actress who played Mary definitely has a talent for comedy. I thought it was a well done movie, with an excellent message...the story of Christmas!

Fun to Watch!

[buffiw · 9/10 · 17 December 2005]

Despite the reviews of the more popular critics I found this movie to be a "fun" movie to watch. For relaxing entertainment I like a movie that is slightly predictable with a "corny" plot, that is not particularly thought provoking, or full of nail-biting suspense or emotion evoking drama yet is still entertaining and this movie was perfect. I love Nicholas Turturro, Katey Sagal, and Jodi Lyn O'Keefe and I think Katey Sagal was just perfect in her role and Nick Turturro, he is awesome and he really must be a "wise guy"! I must confess, I've watched it twice and recorded it on TiVo. With so much drama, violence and way too many reality shows this movie was really refreshing. Absolutely loved it!

good sit-com

[wrlang · 8/10 · 5 November 2006]

Three Wise Guys is about three goofy hit men that go after a boss's pregnant girlfriend to bring her back and kill her other boyfriend. The only problem is that the baby is the boyfriend's and the wife knows all about it. While doing this they also have to deal with the boss's accountant who might turn on the boss in a federal investigation. Then the hit men fall for the girl and wind up getting into to nasty snarls trying to get the girl without hurting her in her 'delicate' condition. Of course she doesn't pull any punches. The near perfect casting of well established and very recognizable comic actors makes the thin plot work as the comedy is nonstop. The title has a dual meaning as you will see at the end. I didn't notice any swearing or thing that would make it unsuitable for kids. If you're looking for situational comedy executed very well, this is for you.

A Little Cliché Goes A Long Way

[RiffRaffMcKinley · 8/10 · 23 September 2007]

So "Three Wise Guys" is a little trite. What post-"Home Alone 1" Christmas movie isn't? The point is, this makes trite very enjoyable, though it's a far cry from the best Christmas entertainment ever.

When I first saw this on USA, I knew I'd found another 25-December tradition. It reworks the pivotal nativity story into a modern world that involves three brash hit men, a tricky pregnant girl, and a "little drummer boy" named Jake Marley. Tom Arnold is the modern-day King Herod.

Katey Sagal, Arnold, and two of the three wise guys give fantastic performances. The weak link is Judd Nelson, whose delivery is almost always like he's reading from cue cards or just trying to get out of dodge.

And maybe a TV movie isn't exactly going to be four-star cinema (contrary to the vivid impression left by Hallmark's stunning "Merlin"), but this is definitely a lot better than even some theatrical Christmas excursions ("Christmas with the Kranks," for instance, or "The Santa Clause").