The Dark Knight (2008)
Heath Ledger: Joker
Photos
Quotes
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The Chechen : [During a private sit down meeting with the gangsters] What do you propose?
The Joker : It's simple. We, uh, kill the Batman.
[mobsters laugh]
Salvatore Maroni : If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?
The Joker : If you're good at something, never do it for free.
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The Joker : You know. I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Harvey. When you and, uh...
Harvey Dent : Rachel!
The Joker : Rachel were being abducted. I was sitting in Gordon's cage. Now, *I* didn't rig those charges.
Harvey Dent : Your men. Your plan.
The Joker : Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just... *do* things.
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Batman : [in the interrogation room] Then why do you want to kill me?
The Joker : [giggling] I don't, I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me.
Batman : You're garbage who kills for money.
The Joker : Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.
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Gambol : [to The Joker during a private sit down meeting with the gangsters] Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off.
The Joker : How about a magic trick?
[pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table]
The Joker : I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.
[Gambol's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who slams his face into the pencil and kills him]
The Joker : Ta-daa! It's... it's gone.
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The Joker : [to Det. Stephens in the interrogation room] Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
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Gambol's Bodyguard : Yo, Gambol, there's somebody here for you. They say they just killed the Joker.
Gambol's Bodyguard : They brought the body.
[a body bag is brought in and dropped on the table; Gambol unzips it, revealing Joker's face]
Gambol : So. For dead, that's 500...
The Joker : [sitting up and sticking a blade in Gambol's mouth] How 'bout alive?
[Joker's men hold the bodyguards]
The Joker : You wanna know how I got these scars? My father, was a drinker, and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and says, "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife. "WHY SO SERIOUS?" He sticks the blade in my mouth... "Let's put a smile on that face." And...
[glancing at thug]
The Joker : Why so serious?
[kills Gambol]
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The Joker : [in a warehouse next to a mountain of money] All you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I'm gonna give it to them!
-
The Joker : I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know... You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!
[Joker hands Two-Face a gun and points it at himself]
The Joker : Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!
[still holding the gun, Two-Face pauses and takes out his coin]
Two-Face : [showing Joker the good side] You live.
The Joker : Mm-hmm.
Two-Face : [showing the scarred side] You die.
The Joker : Mmm, now we're talking.
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The Joker : [in the interrogation room] I want... my phone call. I want it. I want it! I want my phone call!
Detective Stephens : That's nice.
The Joker : How many of your friends have I killed?
Detective Stephens : I'm a twenty-year man. I can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners, and the freaks like you who just enjoy it.
[pause]
Detective Stephens : And you've killed six of my friends.
The Joker : [mouths "six?"]
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The Joker : [while hanging upside down] Oh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Batman : You'll be in a padded cell forever.
The Joker : Maybe we can share one. You know, they'll be doubling up, the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.
Batman : This city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good.
The Joker : Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent, and all the heroic things he's done. You didn't think I'd risk losing the battle for Gotham's soul in a fistfight with you? No. You need an ace in the hole. Mine's Harvey.
Batman : What did you do?
The Joker : I took Gotham's white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!
[the Joker laughs hysterically as Batman races off and the cops come to take the Joker into custody]
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The Joker : [during the fundraiser party held for Harvey Dent] You know, I'll settle for his loved ones.
Gentleman at Party : We're not intimidated by thugs!
The Joker : [as he smacks his lips] You know, you remind me of my father.
[the Joker pulls out his switchblade and brings it to the Gentleman's mouth]
The Joker : I hated my father!
Rachel Dawes : [off-screen] Okay, stop!
[turns to face Rachel, tosses the Gentleman to his thugs and approaches Rachel, adjusting his hair with the knife]
The Joker : Well, hello, beautiful. You must be Harvey's squeeze. And you *are* beautiful.
[he walks around her]
The Joker : Oh, you look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got 'em?
[He grabs Rachel's head and positions the knife by her mouth]
The Joker : Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife. She was beautiful, like you. Who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So... I stick a razor in my mouth and do this...
[the Joker mimics slicing his mouth open with his tongue]
The Joker : ...to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!
[Rachel knees the Joker in the groin; he merely laughs it off]
The Joker : A little fight in you. I like that.
Batman : [off-screen] Then you're gonna love me.
[attacks him]
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Lt. James Gordon : [in the interrogation room] Harvey Dent never made it home.
The Joker : Of course not.
Lt. James Gordon : What have you done with him?
The Joker : Me? I was right here.
[holds up his arms in handcuffs]
The Joker : Who did you leave him with? Your people? Assuming, of course, they are still *your* people, and not Maroni's. Does it depress you, commissioner? To know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dent's current predicament?
Lt. James Gordon : Where is he?
The Joker : What's the time?
Lt. James Gordon : What difference does that make?
The Joker : Well, depending on the time, he may be in one spot, or several.
Lt. James Gordon : If we're gonna play games...
[takes off Joker's handcuffs]
Lt. James Gordon : I'm gonna need a cup of coffee.
The Joker : Ah, the good cop, bad cop routine?
Lt. James Gordon : Not exactly.
-
The Chechen : [in a warehouse next to a mountain of money] Joker-man, what you do with all your money?
The Joker : You see, I'm a guy of simple taste. I enjoy dynamite, and gunpowder, and gasoline!
[he pours gasoline on the mountain of cash]
The Chechen : [panicked] What the...?
The Joker : Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta. And you know the thing they have in common? They're cheap.
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Grumpy : That's a lot of money. If this Joker guy was so smart, he'd have had us bring a bigger car.
[promptly draws his gun and points it a Bozo]
Grumpy : I'm bettin' the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we loaded the cash.
Bozo : [looks at his watch, checking it. He sighs] No, no no no. I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy : [as Bozo moves a few paces to one side] Bus driver? What bus driver?
[a yellow school bus reverses through the bank's doors and knocks Grumpy down. The driver jumps out]
Bus Driver : School's out! Time to go!
[laughs]
Bus Driver : Cat's not gettin' up, is he?
[loading duffels]
Bus Driver : That's a lot of money. What happened to the rest of the guys?
[Bozo casually shoots the bus driver dead, then picks up the last duffel and throws it into the bus. Bozo prepares to climb in]
Gotham National Bank Manager : Think you're smart, huh? The guy that hired youze, he'll just do the same to you. Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
Bozo : [putting a gas grenade in the banker's mouth] I believe, whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...
[takes off his mask revealing the face of the Joker]
The Joker : ...stranger.
-
The Joker : [SPOILER] We really should stop this fighting, otherwise we'll miss the fireworks!
Batman : [while being pinned down on the platform next to the ledge of a building that's still under construction] There won't *be* any fireworks!
The Joker : And here... we... go!
[Silence. Nothing happens. Confused, Joker turns to look at the clock, which shows that it's past midnight and neither ferry has blown the other up]
Batman : [triumphantly] What were you trying to prove? That deep down, everyone's as ugly as you? You're alone!
The Joker : [sighs] Can't rely on anyone these days, you have to do everything yourself, don't we!
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The Joker : [after a news segment] I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring. I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr. Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes then I blow up a hospital.
-
The Joker : Don't talk like one of them, you're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me. They need you right now. But when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper. See, their morals, their code... it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you, when the chips are down, these... these civilized people? They'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.
Batman : [grabs Joker] Where's Dent?
The Joker : You have all these rules and you think they'll save you!
Lt. James Gordon : [as Batman slams Joker into the wall] He's in control.
Batman : I have one rule.
The Joker : Oh, then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth.
Batman : [getting impatient] Which is?
The Joker : The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.
[mimicking Batman's voice]
The Joker : And tonight you're gonna break your one rule.
Batman : I'm considering it.
The Joker : Oh, there's only minutes left, so you're gonna have to play my little game if you wanna save one of them.
Batman : [softly, fearful] Them?
The Joker : You know for awhile there, I thought you really were Dent. The way you threw yourself after her.
[Joker laughs, Batman throws Joker on table, barricades door]
The Joker : Look at you go! Does Harvey know about you and his little bunny?
Batman : [slams Joker into mirror] Where are they?
The Joker : Killing is making a choice.
Batman : [punches Joker] Where are they?
The Joker : Choose between one life or the other. Your friend, the district attorney, or his blushing bride-to-be...
[punches Joker]
The Joker : [laughs] You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with! Nothing to do with all your strength!
[grabs Joker]
The Joker : Don't worry, I'm gonna tell you where they are. Both of them. And that's the point. You'll have to choose. He's at 250 52ND Street and she's on Avenue X, at Cicero.
-
The Joker : [stumbles out of wrecked truck, playing chicken with Batman] Come on, I want you to do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. Hit me!
-
[bumps along while driving a hijacked semi truck]
The Joker : [driving in the driver's seat] I like this job - I like it!
-
The Joker : [over the PA] Tonight you're all gonna be part of a social experiment. Through the magic of diesel fuel and ammonium nitrate, I'm ready right now to blow you all sky high. Anyone attempts to get off their boat, you all die. Each of you has a remote... to blow up the other boat. At midnight, I blow you all up. If, however, one of you presses the button, I'll let that boat live. So, who's it going to be: Harvey Dent's most wanted scumbag collection, or the sweet and innocent civilians? You choose... oh, and you might want to decide quickly, because the people on the other boat might not be so noble.
-
The Joker : [upon entering the fundraiser party held for Harvey Dent while his henchmen follow behind him] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?
[nobody responds; The Joker walks around the room pointing with his shotgun at everyone]
The Joker : You know where Harvey is? You know who he is?
[grabs a man's face]
The Joker : You know where I can find Harvey? I need to talk to him about something. Just something, a little.
[turns the man's face away]
The Joker : No...
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The Joker : [During a private sit down meeting with the gangsters] If we don't deal with this now, soon little, uh, Gambol here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma.
Gambol : [explodes] Enough from the clown!
[He rises to his feet; Joker does too, opening his coat to reveal a cluster of grenades, attached to a string around his thumb]
The Joker : Ah-ta-ta-ta! Let's not *blow*...
Man No. 1 : Shit!
The Joker : ...this out of proportion.
-
The Joker : [the Joker has Brain Douglas captured and is recording him] Tell them your name.
Brian : Brian... Douglas.
The Joker : Are you the real Batman?
Brian : No.
The Joker : No?
Brian : No.
The Joker : No? Then why do you dress up like him?
[grabs Brian's mask and dangles it in front of the camera]
The Joker : whooo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Brian : Because he's a symbol that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you.
The Joker : Oh you do, Brian. You really do. Yeah. Oh shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. So, you think Batman's made Gotham a better place? Hmm? Look at me. LOOK AT ME!
[turns camera to himself]
The Joker : You see? This is how crazy Batman's made Gotham! You want order in Gotham? Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die. Starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.
[laughs]
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The Joker : [to the Chechen] Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city.
The Chechen : They won't work... for a FREAK!
The Joker : [pulls out a knife] Freak? Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches, hmm? And then we'll see just how loyal a hungry dog REALLY is!
The Joker : [half to himself] It's not about money... its about sending a message.
The Joker : [dialing on a cell phone while a mountain of money burns behind him] Everything burns!
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The Joker : [to the mob after performing his "magic trick," during a private sit down meeting with the gangsters] Oh, and by the way, the suit, it wasn't cheap. You oughta know, you bought it.
-
The Joker : [Is about to unmask the unconscious Batman but Gordon suddenly points a gun to his head] Arrrgh! Could you *please* just give me a minute?
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The Joker : [after a news segment, holds camera facing himself] See, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham! If you want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die, starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.
[laughs]
-
The Joker : [to Gambol's thugs, being held helpless by his own] Now, our operation is small, but there's a lot of potential for "aggressive" expansion. So, which of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open right now, so we're gonna have...
[breaks pool cue over knee]
The Joker : Tryouts.
[throws broken pool cue at the thugs]
The Joker : Make it fast.
-
The Joker : You can't rely on anybody these days, you gotta do everything yourself, don't we? But that's okay, I came prepared. It's a funny world we live in; speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?
Bruce Wayne : No, but I know how you got these.
-
[Lau announces that he's removed all the mob's cash from their banks before the police raid, and stashed them in a secure location]
Lau : [during a video conference with the gangsters, interrupting their private sit down meeting] For obvious reasons, I couldn't wait for your permission. Rest assured, your money is safe.
[From outside comes the sound of loud, fake laughter. The mob bosses turn and see the Joker enter]
The Joker : And I thought my jokes were bad.
-
[the Batpod charges towards in the semi truck]
The Joker : [sitting in the drivers seat in the semi truck] Ooohhh. You want to play. Come on!
-
Batman : in the interrogation roomWhere is Dent?
The Joker : You have all these rules and you think they'll save you.
Lt. James Gordon : [Batman slams the Joker against a wall] He's in control.
Batman : I have one rule.
The Joker : Oh, then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth.
Batman : Which is?
The Joker : The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.
[mimicking Batman's voice]
The Joker : And tonight you're gonna break your one rule!
Batman : I'm considering it.
The Joker : Oh, there's only minutes left, so you're gonna have to play my little game if you want to save one of them.
Batman : [softly, fearful] Them?
The Joker : You know for a while there, I thought you really were Dent. The way you threw yourself after her!
-
[the Batpod emerges from an alleyway]
The Joker : Now there's a Batman!
-
Mike Engel : [after a news segment, kidnapped by the Joker, Engel is reading a prepared statement] "I'm Mike Engel for Gotham Tonight. What does it take to make you people join in? You failed to kill the lawyer. I've got to get you off the bench..."
The Joker : Bench...
Mike Engel : "And into the game."
The Joker : ...game.
Mike Engel : "Come nightfall, this city is mine..."
The Joker : Mine...
Mike Engel : "... and anyone left here plays by my rules."
The Joker : ...rules.
Mike Engel : "If you don't want to be in the game... get out now.
The Joker : ...get out now
Mike Engel : But the bridge and tunnel crowd are sure in for a surprise. Ha ha ha ha."
[Joker laughs]
-
The Joker : Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things... forever.
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The Joker : [in a warehouse next to a mountain of money] Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city.
The Chechen : They won't work for a freak...
The Joker : [mocking his accent] A freak...
[pulls out his switchblade and tosses it to some goons, who grab the Chechen]
The Joker : Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? And then we'll see how loyal a hungry dog really is. It's not about money... it's about sending a message. Everything burns!
-
The Joker : [upon entering the fundraiser party held for Harvey Dent] We made it!
-
[while fighting with Batman, Joker knocks him down and raises a knife]
The Joker : All the old familiar places...
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[During a bank heist, the Joker has tricked all his men into killing each other, one after the other. One of the last ones, getting wise, points his gun at another thug, who still has his mask on]
Grumpy : I'm betting The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
Bozo : No. No, no, no. I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy : [confused] Bus driver? What bus dri-?
[a school bus drives through the wall and kills Grumpy]
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The Joker : [During a private sit down with the gangsters] Let's wind the clocks back a year: These cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you, so what happened? Did your balls drop off? I know why you choose to have your "group therapy" sessions in broad daylight, I know why you're afraid to go out at night: The Batman. Batman has shown your true colors. Unfortunately, Dent, he's just the beginning.
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The Joker : Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?
-
The Joker : [talking about crashing the helicopter] Okay, rack 'em up. Rack 'em up, rack 'em up, rack 'em up.
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The Joker : [Referring to Lau from the video conference to the gangsters] And as for the television's so-called "plan", Batman has no jurisdiction. He'll find him and make him squeal. I know the squealers when I see them, and...
[he indicates Lau, who shuts off the video conference]
-
The Joker : [in the interrogation room]
[... ctd]
The Joker : See, their morals, their code... it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you, when the chips are down, these... these civilized people? They'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.
-
The Joker : You'll see. I'll show you.
-
Joker : [to Harvey Dent] The mob has plans. The cops have plans. Gordon's got plans. Y'know they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you know I'm telling the truth. It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and, uh, look where that got you.
-
Joker : Why so serious? Why so serious? Let's put a smile on that face! And... Why so serious?
