- Title Card: James Miller wanted to stop quarreling and bury the hatchet, but he didn't say in whose skull.
- [first lines]
- Title Card: MOTORS!
- Title Card: Betty, the new stenographer - so fast her brain perspired to keep up with her thoughts.
- Sol Rosenburg: [to Betty] Your reference from the last place you got fired from said you was good at figures.
- Title Card: Sol Rosenburg used to speculate in wheat, but it went against his grain.
- James Miller: You know as much about automobiles as an ostrich!
- Sol Rosenburg: How can a man be so dumb and still live?
- James Miller: Look in a mirror - you'll find out, you lummox!
- Sol Rosenburg: One thing what's good - you know I always take care from our business.
- James Miller: Business - bah! Monkey business! Didn't I find you doing the same thing with the one before her? Didn't you even flirt with that dame Rebecca from Sunnybrook farm?
- Sol Rosenburg: That's the one I caught you mit.
- James Miller: You're not as crazy as I thought - you're crazier!
- James Miller: Rosenburg - you look like the answer to an old maid's prayer.
- Sol Rosenburg: Say, an old maid wouldn't even pray for you - you old fossil!
- Minnie Rosenburg: Oh, Jimmy - our car is wonderful! Now we must win!
- Jimmie Miller: When the race starts tomorrow at three o'clock I'll burn up 'the roaring road'.
- James Miller: I'm a damn fool!
- Sol Rosenburg: At last we agree!
- James Miller: Don't call me a fool - you fool!
- Sol Rosenburg: We'll start this letter from the commencement: "Finkelstein and O'Brien - Dear sirs and Gentlemen." Oi - I made a terrible mistake - I should never call those Irishers gentlemen.