Cleats of Imminent Doom (2005 TV Movie) User Reviews

Funny, Irreverent, Sweet

[Cheddar · 10/10 · 26 June 2005]

I saw this on IFC's short film showcase and loved it from the moment it started. It reminds me of the TV show, "The Adventures of Pete & Pete," both in its tone and in its ability to be sweet without compromising itself. I'm a firm believer in not predisposing people who might see something by telling too much about the plot so I'll not spill any beans about that. I will only say that if you can suspend your sense of reality and take this on its own terms (something important for enjoying "Pete & Pete, by the way), you'll be richly rewarded.

By this point, I'm just stretching because I have to write one more line for this to be posted. Thank you for reading.

A Comic Gem!

[EricPC5150 · 10/10 · 27 June 2005]

Like the previous reviewer, I also saw this screamingly funny short film on Independent Film Channel's Short Film Showcase. It's an offbeat, scathing satire about how the bad behavior of obnoxious soccer moms and dads affects their children.

The Cleats are a hapless girls' (ages 9-14) soccer team who are about to play a championship game against a tough, snooty team coached by an arrogant Italian ex-soccer star and his chain-smoking supermodel wife.

The Cleats team players are a motley crew of lovable losers. The story is narrated by Jenny (Jennie Hoy), the team bench warmer who finally gets her chance to shine. Cute, pigtailed Zoe (Mary Ann Springer) suffers from lack of focus and an insanely overprotective mother (Stacey Annette) who keeps her on a strict diet of no sugar and lots of Ritalin. So, Zoe's teammates sneak her a fistful of Pixie Sticks! She goes on a wild, hallucinatory sugar trip where chattering squirrel puppets chase her - and she plays her best game ever! Abby (Marisa Guterman), the Cleats' star kicker, has issues with her loudmouthed, sports-crazed, win-at-all-costs jerk of a father. Last, but certainly not least, is Coach Bob, the Cleats' coach, who has five daughters, no sons, and nothing to show for his many years of coaching girls' soccer. He is totally obsessed with winning the championship trophy.

With this short film, writer-director Craig Hammill has proved himself a major talent in the making. His script is fresh, hilarious, offbeat, unpredictable, and in the end, warm and satisfying. The soccer game scene is edited at a frenzied pace, like a music video. Hammill cast his film well, too. The young actresses are adorable, they can act, and they have great chemistry together.

I hope that The Cleats Of Imminent Doom gets a DVD release, because this is one short that you'll want to watch over and over again! Note to parents: this short is unrated, but equivalent to a PG-13 for adult humor.

I loved it

[robin-schwartz · 10/10 · 30 September 2005]

I'm a 52-year-old soccer dad who has chased my daughter all over the west for the past 15 years watching soccer games. I was watching IFC at about 2am and came across "cleats". I laughed myself silly. The caricatures are more real than not. I've never coached the game, and still don't understand offsides, but I am an ardent observer of both parents and players. The mentality exhibited by some of the characters shows that the writer has had similar experiences along the sidelines. I also liked the jab at the elitism that accompanies the game. The weak and less-talented are weeded out. Anyway, what a great little film. Any soccer parent will relate.

Brilliant!

[lefty1 · 10/10 · 18 November 2007]

What a wonderfully conceptualized work of writing, casting and directing! I'd like to see more of Craig Hammill's work. Unfortunately, this 2005 short is the last thing he's done. What a shame.

The movie is about 2 young girls' soccer teams playing in the championship game, and how their materialistic parents meddle in their lives in their attempts to show their brand of caring. As another reviewer posted, the Cleats are lovable losers. They're led by coach Bob, who has five daughters, and has been coaching girls soccer for 15 years. He's still looking to win the championship - at any cost. Their nemesis is the Black Widow Princesses, led by coach Dino, a former Italian soccer superstar whose career was cut short by an injury. Coach Dino is accompanied by his chain-smoking wife, Sofia, a famous Italian model, and their daughter Giulietta, who is one of the stars of the team.

After the introduction of all the major characters, the game is on. By early in the second half, the Black Widows have a 3-goal lead. Can the Cleats overcome the deficit? Watch it and see.

Although it's a light-hearted movie, there was a sadness in the main character, Jenny, as the other kids went home with their parents while she was left alone. The sense of loneliness was further highlighted by crickets chirping while she walked home alone at sunset down a quiet, deserted street. I also sensed a sadness and strain in Giuletta, probably due to the pressure she was under from her parents to live up to their expectations.

The story itself is nothing special, but it's so well done and the characters are so likable, it's worth watching over and over again. It's still playing on IFC from time to time. It's the most enjoyable 20 minutes you'll spend watching a short. Don't miss it!

I found the casting call for this movie on the internet at http://64.159.88.142/ubb/Forum2/HTML/003466.html. Auditions were held the final 2 weekends in September, 2002, rehearsals were held October 5th & 6th, and shooting took place over 5 weekends, beginning October 11, 2002. Several of the character's parents were used as extras, although none played the parents of their own children. None of the actors or actresses were paid.