Beer League (2006)

Jimmy Palumbo: Johnny Trinno

Quotes 

• Johnny Trinno : [giving the toast at Maz's wedding]  So to recap, throughout it all, there's been a lot of laughter, and a few tears. But in the end the clouds parted, and the good Lord himself decided it was meant to be. And that's how I finished the regular season batting .706.

• Maz : I'll have an egg-white omelet made with very little oil, dry wheat toast, and grapefruit juice.

  Johnny Trinno : Oh my god, that's the gayest order I've ever heard.

  Artie DeVanzo : You know, in Massachusetts, that order could legally marry a dude.

  Maz : Alright, here it comes.

  Johnny Trinno : You know, just placing an order like that would get you kicked out of the army.

  Artie DeVanzo : You know, if you put a construction helmet on that order, it could join the Village People.

  Rhonda : Would you guys knock it off so I can do my job?

  Maz : Thank you.

  Rhonda : Alright, Maz, that's an egg-white omelet, dry wheat toast, grapefruit juice.

  Maz : That's right.

  Rhonda : Do you want a side order of cock with that?

• Johnny Trinno : It's unfair, it's like pitching to a healthy Lou Gehrig.

• Alfonse : Check it out, my new italiano mit.

  Maz : That's cool, Alfonse.

  Johnny Trinno : How much of a guido could you possibly be?

• Johnny Trinno : [speaking in an announcer-type voice]  Now coming to bat is Artie DeVanzo. Last season was a fine one for DeVanzo, we all know that. He batted 420 with 45 RBIs. He enters today's game with a Blood Alcohol Content of .16. If you kids scoring at home, that is an impressive *twice* the legal limit.

• Johnny Trinno : Let me get a bacon egg and cheese on a hard roll with a side order of fries, cheese, and gravy and a bowl of gravy on the side.

  Artie DeVanzo : I'll have the same thing, plus pancakes.

  Rhonda : Chocolate milk?

  Artie DeVanzo : You know it honey.

• Maz : [responding to Artie about un-inviting Mangenelli to the wedding]  He's Gina's cousin, he's going to be there, and don't start any trouble.

  Artie DeVanzo : Hey, I'm not one to start trouble.

  Johnny Trinno : Oh my God you fat fuckin' liar.