Raising the Stakes (2005)

Zane Crosby: Bob

Quotes 

• Maxwell Selwyn : [while telling them of a vampire antidote]  Well, there are some side effects

  Steve : What kind?

  Maxwell Selwyn : [holds up a poorly carved vampire stake]  Death.

  Bob : Thank God, I thought you were going to say stick. I'd rather die than be a stick.

• Steve : I thought vampires were supposed to be all hardcore, we ended up being pussies!

  Bob : Fuck you, dude, I'm not a pussy. You're a pussy.

  Steve : You're a pussy!

  Bob : You're a pussy!

  Steve : Oh, what's this?

  [pretends to pull a letter from his pocket] 

  Steve : It's a letter from the PUSS-R.S., you didn't pay your pussy taxes!

  Bob : Is that a knock at the door?

  [walks up to the door and opens it] 

  Bob : Holy shit! It's Ed McMahon! You just won a million dollars from the PUSSinghouse Clearing!

• Bob : [a blind man has pulled a gun]  Holy shit! It's like Ben Affleck!

  Blind Guy : Aw, hell no!

  [starts firing random rounds] 

• Steve : Just look at Tom Cruise: you know, first he played Lestat and then he got to bang Penelope Cruz.

  Bob : You know, if they would've got married, do you think she would've been Penelope Cruz-Cruise?