Reece Shearsmith: Edward, Papa Lazarou, Geoff, Bernice, Reece, Father Halfhearte, Red Devil
Photos
Quotes
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Geoff Tipps : [on being tortured] They put me in a box with me coat on... I know, it don't sound much when you say it out loud.
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Sir Nicholas : What queer finery he wears.
Geoff Tipps : I'm not queer, don't bum me!
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Geoff Tipps : You my friend are f-u-k-t, fucked!
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Hilary Briss : [sealing a computer] We don't need the monitor!
Geoff Tipps : How are we gonna read it then? Braille?
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Bernice : And a giraffe will spunk up over a load of old biddies.
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Bernice : [inside the confessional] Sometimes do you touch yourself in a way that... seems forbidden?
Extra : [looks shame-faced at her feet]
Bernice : I'll take that as a yes. Now love, you might ask what harm can come from a young maiden such as yourself being drawn toward this... attractive Chevalier. To find yourself opening like a beautiful flower in the warmth of the morning sun; enjoying the simple blossoming of womanhood. Bullshit!
Extra : [looking panic-stricken and confused]
Bernice : You come in here with your fishy fingers all over my communion wafers, slinging your jelly every hour God sends! Go on - get stuffed! You should be digusted with yourself! Go play stinky pinky somewhere else!
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Geoff Tipps : I've just realized who you are.
Hilary Briss : Have ya?
Geoff Tipps : It's you innit? Demon butcherer; Hilary Briss.
Wolf Lipp : Alles klar! The one with the funny meats.
Geoff Tipps : You used to put things in your sausages. Killed all them people.
[chuckles]
Geoff Tipps : 'Ey, I used to eat your pork pies.
Hilary Briss : They weren't pork.
Geoff Tipps : I know, I know. It's all bumholes and eyelids, innit? Still nice though
[laughs]
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Wolf Lipp : I usually backup on a five inch floppy.
Geoff Tipps : I bet you do.
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Geoff Tipps : What're ya doing? King! King! There's an old feller in the toilet!
Tom Tit : 'Tis only I sir; Tom Tit.
Geoff Tipps : Who?
Tom Tit : Tom Tit, the night soil man. Guardian of the royal stool. It's my function to take away your leavings.
Geoff Tipps : I can't go with you lookin' up me bum.
Tom Tit : If I might be so bold sir, there are ways of easing the passage.
[singing in falsetto and playing a piano]
Tom Tit : Come out, come out, reluctant stool. Play not your maker for a fool. Oh, naughty guts, let go your prize. Let's cut this bum egg down to size.
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Geoff Tipps : Hey! There's an old fella in't toilet!
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Bernice : The League of Gentlemen! Extraordinary!
