Frostbite (Video 2005) Poster

(2005 Video)

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2/10
Bar from some nice snowboarding stunts, this film is not funny and lacks any kind of depth
fuktheluk28 January 2005
I saw this film 2 weeks prior to going on a snowboarding holiday, so for me it was really just to get my mind in mode for my holiday. The film boasts some sweet snowboarding skills, throughout the films in the action scenes. These moments were great, a bit like watching extreme sports channel. Sadly the story was quite honestly awful, the acting was generally alright, with a fairly small cast. This film is apparently comedy, at least it tries to be comical, but it seems like the comedy and the storyline was written by a teenager. The story lacks any depth or purpose and the comedy struggles to be anything more than a small snigger a few times during the movie. It might be worth renting just to see the snowboarding action, but then again there are plenty of movies out there that are totally devoted to snowboarding stunts and don't feature a UN-funny badly written story.
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2/10
Oh Traci, why did you waste your time
adamzad21 July 2005
on this quagmire of mediocrity? You are SO much better than this.

Simply put, Frostbite is worthless. Bad acting (and I use that term loosely), minimalist "plot," sophomoric humor, and lackluster snowboarding. There's not even a sufficient display of feminine pulchritude to spark the prurient interest of socially inept, but red-blooded, males.

Top Gun had spectacular flight sequences to goggle at. Days of Thunder had heart-pounding racing action. Even Point Break had skydiving scenes to its credit. Frostbite has none of these. It's not worth your time, my time, Traci Lords' time, Carmen Nicole's time, nor the time of anyone involved with this destruction of celluloid that would have been perfectly usable on something worthwhile had it not been wasted on this fodder for the recycling center.

The world will be a better place when we forget that Frostbite ever existed.
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4/10
Definitely not snowboarding's definitive movie.
thesociety27 January 2005
The movie starts out with its most intelligent joke, and goes downhill from there (pun intended). After that there's lots of potty humor and sexual situations. The beautiful women were the best part of the movie. Swear-word puns are not meant to be central idea jokes, but they try it here. The battle between the two groups in the local town (richies and poories) is an old tried and true setup, so how could it go wrong? Well, there is no reason to envy the "richies" nor any reason to feel sorry for the poories, so we can forget the central plot. The situational humor is all toilet or sexual aimed at teenagers, but only garners giggles, no true belly-laughs.

The only thing that salvages the comedy for this movie is the character humor, with the blind man providing some rehashed, but seldom used setups, and the black bar owner providing the formulaic "street" or "hood" humor.

OK, forget the jokes, there has to be some killer snowboarding shots since this was a commercial enterprise. Unfortunately, there was only 4 seconds of backdrop action that might be inspiring. The rest was all "B" grade tricks or worse. The big moment, where the main character rides "the goat", a man-killer ski run, did provide one shot where a small avalanche eats the stuntman. This was the best of the boarding in this movie. Any serious snowboarding fan will be disappointed with the quality of the stunts in the movie.

As for the technical aspects of the movie, the soundtrack was average, which surprises, as those snowboarding documentaries are regularly filled with quality tunes. You can catch a lot of editing mistakes and even though it was shot on a ski mountain, the majority of "scenery" shots failed to convey any sense of true size.

Overall, it MIGHT be worth watching if you have managed to turn your brain completely off and you like silicon breasts. Even then, you wont remember a thing from this one two days later.

Snowboarding is still waiting for it's definitive comedy, you'd do better to watch a snowboarding documentary for sure.
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1/10
Like an R-rated "Ernest" film, minus ANY funny jokes....
xraykatt17 March 2005
About 20 minutes into this lame excuse for a movie, I realized it reminded me of one of those annoying people at work who're always telling really lame jokes or doing extremely unfunny things, because they think it's funny and are trying to entertain everyone.

This film is billed as starring Traci Lords, she's not that bad of an actress, but her lines aren't funny and SHE'S NOT THE STAR

The acting is some of the most god-awful I've ever seen, except for Lords, the girl who plays Casey, and maybe the Colonel-who seems oddly out of place. I can't imagine why a retired military Colonel would want to start a SNOWBOARDING ACADEMY. Do those even exist?

The budget would've been better spent coaxing these women into doing a full length porn feature.

"Freddy Got Fingered" currently has a 3.5 score, "Frostbite" has a 2.7. I'm baffled these two movies are within a 1.0 to each other, FGF is "The Godfather" compared to this garbage.

1/10 stars
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1/10
how to NOT make a comedy
movieman_kev24 March 2006
What makes this movie so damn bad? Is it the lame sub-par juvenile humor? Could it be the horrid "trendy" suck ass music? Perhaps the uninspired go nowhere story? Or maybe even the fact that Traci Lords gives her worst acting performance ever and to add insult to injury keeps all her clothes on throughout the length of this steaming turd sandwich. Regardless no matter what the reason this film sucks, the fact remains that it really REALLY does. I have never wished I could be watching a movie with Dean Cameron in it instead of what I was watching in my life, but "Ski School" is a masterpiece of comic genius compared to this travesty.

My Grade: F

Eye Candy: Nikol Nesbitt, Buffy Tyler and Suzanne Stokes all unleash their Tupperware tits

Where I saw it: Starz on Demand
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1/10
bad bad bad
homgoblin27 June 2005
After watch this movie I was surprised that someone had like it!!!! I think this is the worst comedy I ever seen....ever!!!! If you think you had already seen the worst comedy made wait for watch this crap!!!! Not funny at all( OK one or two laugh maybe.......but you have to be really high), the acting is terrible and the story doesn't exist. Even if you like snowboarding ( and I really do) you will hate this movie. OK, OK you can see some nice babes , some nice snowboarding tricks and some beautiful mountains but that's all!!! Watch a porno set in the mountains instead because the acting and the story line might be better!!!!! Sometimes in IMDb I read bad review about some movie and at the end they are not so awful....but this one, believe me,is pure trash!!!! Don't waste your time and money in this one.
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1/10
Bad movie and nearly no nudity to save it.
ray-32021 April 2005
Ewe, The opening screams zero budget. The titles whooshing in look like my grandson was let loose with iMovie. The DVD box gives the impression that you'll be treated to the old days of '80s boobie movies. NOPE! Hardly any nudity from a flick that stars Traci Lords! This movie really did need the nudity too. Instead you get a lot of Lords perkies pointing through a shirt, however they seem to be activated by hot steam. That's odd, in my world the headlights go on in the COLD.

The plot is pathetic, the blind guy is just is a joke, and not a funny one. His antics are so forced and predictable. He trips over stuff and you see him bracing for the fall. He needs to work on his physical comedy.

Most of Frostbite's nudity comes from a hot tub scene that looks like it was shot months later and inserted in to get a distributor. And the nudity is not worth it.

NamoiBucks; it's just a matter of time before Starbucks sues over that. Not even funny. As Billy arrives in town for the first time they come across Namoi Bucks, He comments "Wow they have these everywhere." This leads you to believe it's a parody on Starbucks, but surprise, behind the counter of this location is Namoi herself. Apparently she loves coffee so much that the owner of this huge chain decided to work in a tiny cold town.

The only thing this movie has going for it is the Warren Miller snowboarding footage. Yep this is all Warren's stuff, so if you want to see great action, get a Warren miller flick. Leave Frostbite alone.

There is nothing good about this movie. There is no reason to rent it or buy it, and if a friend offers to loan you a copy for free. Hit him and end the friendship.
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1/10
It gives CRAP a whole new meaning
egory28 February 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I can't actually think of one good point in this film. The story is absolutely terrible. THe acting is as blunt as a carrot, and the script is so bad it makes you want to kill yourself. OK fine if you love (and you have to love it to understand) snowboarding you might enjoy it microscopically better, as it has large mountains and some cool moves but apart from that it is terrible. It has some absolutely stupid ideas and it is racist with both black and white people insulting each others races. The only time you will laugh is when you are laughing at the stupidity or you are feeling embarrassed for the film. I have seen a lot of films and i have to say that this is the worst film i have ever seen. If you have this film i would suggest you take it back to wherever you bought it from and get you money back.
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1/10
Horrible Movie
Hagard195627 October 2005
This movie is beyond Horrible AVOID AT ALL COSTS!! I want my hour and 20 minutes back!!!

Not funny AT ALL, you can watch this movie without laughing or even smiling once. Swears spill out of the speakers like a waterfall, each one getting more annoying as the last, and not contributing to the comedy OR plot (general comedy - not this movie in general!).

All in all, its a lame-a$5, watered-down -typed- "Out Cold"ish movie - But Tremendously Awful. The movie focuses around two groups of a city Poories and Richies (how obviously dumb is that?), where the two opposites have snowboard battles with each other. (story is much like a 4-year-old's bed time story without all the swears and stupid jokes)

MOVIE - 1/10 - because you can't give any lower scores
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1/10
Horrible ... u couldn't pay me to watch it again
chrisk1924 May 2005
This movie is just downright horrible, the movie was only an hour long and for about 25mins of the movie was just useless random snowboarding clips that don't even connect to the movie. The storyline is completely "retarted", my 5 year old cousin could probably write a better script. I don't understand how someone could fund the production of a film like this ... horrible. This is definitely the shittiest most horrid movie i've ever seen in my entire existence. I think the casting director just took some random kids from off the street to act in this movie. The directing, acting, producing and writing for this film are all really bad. I feel bad for the people who wasted money funding this garbage. U couldn't pay me to watch this crap again.
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Not worth the money
jberghem12 February 2005
When you start watching Frostbite you get the feeling it's going to be a great commercial comedy like American Pie or the Girl Next Door, but this feeling is out the window as soon as the characters are introduced.

The acting quality is that of an adult film but then without (very) explicit scenes. The script is badly written and the delivery of it is even worse. You get the impression they filmed the first dress rehearsal of the film and never bothered to take any time for Take-2. There is no rhythm in the dialog, at all!! like – "eh… oh my line." There are some beautiful ladies in this film and also some misplaced Hip-Hop music-video style nudity, (bimbo's in a Jacuzzi) but it would have been better had they just skipped the dialog. In fact the best acting is brought by Traci Lords which is quite surprising considering her "acting" background. My compliments Traci! You should do more movies where you keep your clothes on!

The one thing that possibly redeems this film is the snowboarding scenes. They are of magnificent quality and are accompanied by some great music. It's almost like you switched the channel to an extreme sports program. The editing and cutting of these scenes are off the top shelf.

Conclusion: If you want to see pure unadulterated snowboarding of the highest caliber and discuss the radical moves with your friend during the dialog scenes which build the non-existent plot of the movie, I'd say rent the DVD. But if you want to see some acting talent, then go see your kids' high school drama play. All in all it's better to spend the money on something else.
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10/10
Awesome Ride!
sussner27 January 2005
I was lucky enough to catch a preview screening of this film. It's an Awesome Ride--one of the best teen comedies to come around since American Pie and maybe the best snowboarding flick I've seen. The jokes are hysterical, the actresses are HOT (Traci Lords!!!) and the stunts are just downright amazing. I'm not sure how they filmed some of these shots--they're incredible! Most importantly, this movie has what so many comedies lack these days--a really great cast of characters. They were just fun to watch. Look for Adam Grimes (The OC) to make a big splash. The actor playing Blind Danny was a trip! Great music too--totally punk. This movie made me want to hit the slopes. I'm not sure why it wasn't released in theaters--definitely add this one to your collection.
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6/10
misleading promotions
threenails1025 November 2006
I got a good laugh out of this film. It is obvious that you should not take this to seriously but it sure has some good laughs whether it be something corny or outrageous. If you're going to rent this or bye it for $5 at most, do it, its worth it. Its a good sleep over movie or camp out movie. The acting clearly isn't great but thats obvious even entering this film or by just looking at the cover, but it still works for what it is. If you enjoyed the dialogue in 'Snakes on a Plane' then you'll enjoy this. Don't get it for the way the poster or cover, it shows the movie in an over exaggerated sleazy way (obviously to get more sales), cause it does actually have a story. It's not a sleazy movie by any means but it does take ridiculous to a funny level. See this movie if your brain has left the building on a good day.
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3/10
This movie gave me an unsettling, sinking feeling.
Torgo_Approves24 May 2006
After a while I realized it was just my IQ slowly dropping. Frostbite is one of those pathetic movies where no one, and I mean no one, is even trying. I rooted for the dorky hero to die inside that trashcan (how did he even manage to fit in there, anyway?), Traci Lords, the queen of B movies, was horribly unfunny and ripped me and my friends off by not showing her boobs a single time.

The "characters", though I use that term loosely, are people so exaggerated and one-dimensional they might as well have used cardboard cutouts. The "jokes" (I use this term loosely as well) are simply hilarious. A guy's fart causes an earthquake. Roflcopter! Our "hero" gets a butt acupuncture by Traci Lords. Oh God, I can't breathe! The blind guy uses the F word repeatedly! This is too much!!!

Say what you want about the acting but I thought Adam Grimes did a pretty good job at playing a mentally challenged snowboarder. Apart from that the sole source of entertainment value here is boobs. I think I counted three, maybe four pairs throughout the entire film, scattered over maybe five minutes of screen time. That's five minutes worth watching out of 83 minutes of unfunny trash. Don't watch this. Watch Barb Wire with Pamela Anderson - at least there was plenty of nudity and action in that trashy flick!(r#26)
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1/10
one of the worst films ever!!!!
Paddycolver14 February 2005
I guess if you like snow boarding you may get some enjoyment from watching some nice scenery and some nice tricks. but that is all the film has to offer. the story line is non-existent, and any jokes that may have been in the film were not funny, even on a sympathy level. I also disliked the characters, the main actor (Adam Grimes)tried his best, and for a comedy like this that doesn't have to be much, but when surrounded by so many other bad actors he had no hope of making this film good. but i shouldn't be too harsh on them, for all i know they might have great skill, but with a script that i could have written in ten minutes, what ever skills they had were ran and hid for fear of appearing in this film. my advise is don't watch it, i wish i never did!
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3/10
Yes, it DOES suck as bad as they say.
destroyerwod10 June 2011
Most of the time i don't agree with IMDb users rating. We don't have the same rating i guess, personally a 6 for me is a boring movie with few redeeming quality when a 8 is a good movie but thats it. To go under 6 the movie need to really be horrible. And here we got it... I do love brainless comedy American Pie style, and when reading the back cover it says American Pie meat Animal House. I never saw animal house, but i can say that this have nothing to do with American Pie. Sure AP had some over the top sequence, but overall the story was fun, the gag made you laugh a lot and you could feel for the characters.

Here all i was saying when watching this was "WTF is that?" its so stupid its not even funny. Its almost like watching a Scary Movie except in that case you know what you sign on, here you think you will just get a funny teen over the top comedy, but there is so far you can go "over the top" if i can say so...

The only redeeming quality of this would be some nice snowboarding tricks(but there is not very much of them) and a few boobies of playmate girls. But like somebody said before, rent a porn movie and you will get way more nudity and even a better story.

I said it a couple times, but having all characters be a total bad caricature is not gonna work, you can have 1 or 2 sure, but they need to have something special, it worked in harold and kumar, but this was well input. Anyway ill finish on this, glad i didn't paid much for this and save yourself a few bucks, buy a coffee, a muffin or whatever, you will spend your money a better way...
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1/10
What was I thinking?
davidfurlotte15 March 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I should have realized that this movie was going to be ridiculous as soon as I noticed the spelling mistake on one of the signs. At first I thought that maybe the writers had done it as a "joke" but it soon became apparent when there was no mention made about it. Take a movie, set it in the mountains so you can get some nice snowboarding footage (the ONLY redeeming quality of the movie) and then spell MOUNTAIN wrong. It's rather simple, it's MountAIn, not MountIAn.

I have enjoyed what I consider to be teenage comedy flicks because some of the jokes were very funny, for example, Hot Tub Time Machine was hilarious and had some very funny moments whereas this movie simply could not find the mark.

Better luck next time, guys. In summary, if you want to lose a few hundred IQ points, watch this movie.
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It's Candy-land On Snow!!!
immltng20 February 2005
More than the greatest love hath Ms. Traci for the snow and snowboarders; and more and more (and how!) will you come to love 'snowboarding' when you watch "Frostbite" the non-pornographic yet seminal movie in the genre! Although few have heard of this new so-called 'sport'. Snowboard maven Traci Lords as Naomi(Ms.Frosty'95)Bucks has promised old man Jenkins -on his deathbed- to get the word out- and will do ANYTHING or ANYONE to spread said word! Be prepared for icy pratfalls and sophomoric hijinks galore as the gang at the 'Frosty-Hut' -the local teen hang-out-try their best to save the 'Penguin Festival' and Grelvin Valley from demolition at the hands of greedy land developer Miles Marvin (Martin Mull in an hilarious turn) Watch for the 'photo-cop-a-feel-ya' scene between Ms. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey at the local print shop--an instant classic! Rent or buy "Frostbite" today!
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1/10
Motion Picture Association of America
nelliebell-128 March 2009
The Motion Picture Association of America has seen fit to advise potential viewers and this is particularly useful to parents and guardians that this film which is hereby titled "Frostbite" is given a "R" rating.The "R" rating has specific information which allows any person who not knowing anything about a film to know something about what this film provides.The "R" was instituted for Sexual Content including Nudity and Perverse dialog,language, crude sense of humor and drug use.There is no reward in viewing such a film though it would be useful to know if this could be removed as a possibility at all I would as this reviewer remove such a possibility.This is a film whereby merely a 1 was not the equal to a number as it did not qualify as a film to be counted,in fact such as this purpose is with this film so should such a purpose be with this films place at all.This is a unwholesome and undesirable offerring that should of been given a much stricter interpretation because at no point is conduct or language suitable for viewing and this kind of film may wish for a Blacklist rather than a stricter definition as to its content.It is suggested hereby that the stricter definition would allow,it is hereby put forth a criminal charge.It may any way irregardless of its rating.This is a unsavory world which would damage any persons viewing this film as its purpose is to commit an offense.It is an offense and it is offensive in its purpose.There is no sense of humor in the film but a depraved and indifferent purpose as to its undesirable underpinning.Without reservation this is a do not see list and perhaps not entirely necessary to say to any adults considering but to any whose interests concern the environment to which there children grow up in,do not allow nor provide any young person the viewing of this film it is unfriendly.Society often sends the wrong message when these kinds of problems are in the public domain let this not be one of those times.
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10/10
bring it on!
jsussner2 February 2005
i loved this movie!

i thought i was going to have some serious issues with womanising and objectification but this film had a clear goal to entertain and it didn't fall short one bit. i wasn't offended at all and found myself laughing and totally engaged by a charming story and totally wicked snowboarding footage. i found this movie had more character development than most in its genre. it's about time someone coupled x-treme sports with plot and made us laugh.

this movie takes a classic and loved storyline to the slopes and churns out a great comedy, both naughty and nice!!

if you root for the underdog, you'll love FROSBITE!!!
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6/10
Right hand is fighting with the left again...
maniacdave12 June 2007
And damn if I didn't have a good time. Filled with some wickedly bad acting inter-spliced with some wickedly bad hardcore shots, that's all this movie really is; a $2.99 porno. Except those hardcore shots are on boards not broads.

Plus the fight scene in the bar kicked ass!

Oh and the floaters in the hot tub.

Now I know someone will go a be like,"the fight scene was better in (insert any movie with a budget consisting of more than beer)" or "there were better jugs in Super Sex Sluts 49 & 3/4 (also had a budget, gotta pay the porn stars something).

But seeing as I picked this movie up for the change in my pocket at the time, I wasn't expecting any Oscar winning performances. Hell I wasn't expecting acting much less some big mountains...
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10/10
excellent...
jdc383 February 2005
Set in the California mountains, this film tells the story of Billy Wagstaff and his wild ride at the pine mountain snowboarding academy. Famous for his boarding talents, he receives a scholarship to the ultra pretentious school and realises quickly that the other students will do anything to spoil his ride. I thought this movie was great, it has the ability to make the audience laugh while it laughs at itself. the cast is entirely refreshing in its performance and overall look (especially Casey!! :> ). Also it had the presence of acting greats Phil Morris, Peter Jason and especially Traci Lords. Even if Traci doesn't get her kit off in this one, frostbite offers many other fine hotties willing to bare some flesh.... aye!

So all round respect for a fine film.
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