105 reviews
- Theo Robertson
- Feb 27, 2013
- Permalink
- Poseidon-3
- Nov 21, 2005
- Permalink
- Son_of_Mansfield
- Feb 5, 2007
- Permalink
By accident, we rented this instead of the original. I couldn't imagine this movie being any worse. Several scenes and characters have been added, which have no real value. There's the guy from police academy in some awful "divorce" angle. A fake ex-American idol contestant sings a whole song for no reason. There's a kids who's not just annoying, but is making humorous handi-cam films with the help of the zany crew. And oh yeah, there's a terror attack, because the dead horse is only half-beaten by TV standards, I guess. There's also a creepy old crewman who's trying to get with some teenager, and the priest in this film is a far weaker character/actor.
Add in some of the most un-inspired editing, music, and dialogue imaginable and that sums up the worst of this movie. I'd rather draw a picture of boat upside-down and stare at it for two hours rather than repeat watching 10 min. of this film.
Add in some of the most un-inspired editing, music, and dialogue imaginable and that sums up the worst of this movie. I'd rather draw a picture of boat upside-down and stare at it for two hours rather than repeat watching 10 min. of this film.
- camp_hazzard
- Feb 24, 2006
- Permalink
How can I begin? It should have been called The Love Boat VII. There is nothing even interesting about this movie. Would anyone involved win this movie use it on their CV? It was one of four movies on a $5 DVD in the delete bin at Walmart. This movie cost $1.25 and at that was overpriced. I noticed that the Australian version of this thing was considerably shorter than the general release version and had we not fast forwarded through every piece of "significant" dialogue I would have kicked myself for not searching out the Aussie release.
I am somewhat grateful however knowing that should I decide to finish my story about the workday of a toll-booth collector, there are producers out there waiting. Rutger Hauer and Steve Gutenberg are already cast.
A chimpanzee could write a better screenplay by sticking a crayon where the sun don't shine and squatting over a copy of the National Enquirer.
I am somewhat grateful however knowing that should I decide to finish my story about the workday of a toll-booth collector, there are producers out there waiting. Rutger Hauer and Steve Gutenberg are already cast.
A chimpanzee could write a better screenplay by sticking a crayon where the sun don't shine and squatting over a copy of the National Enquirer.
I am a huge fan of the original 1972 classic......They ruined, butchered the original. How this ever got approved is beyond me? They should of retitled this "The Love Boat: The Sinking"......I mean that is what I felt like I was watching. You get a bunch of actors that should of put on The Surreal Life and put them in this......There is nothing about this remake that even comes close to the original. The whole entire movie was rewritten......Not even a tidal wave, guys come on.......Oh and the terrorist plot how genius....NOT!! This piece of garbage is laughable and a disgrace......I would rather sit and watch Barney by myself for two hours! I have never seen a worse remake of a movie. The remake of Carrie came close but this takes the cake!!!! This is S.S. Disaster!!!!! Way to go!!!
- Robert_duder
- Feb 18, 2006
- Permalink
I saw this, and I thought it was riveting entertainment. All of you are so caught up on comparing it to the original that you refuse to rate it based on what it is--a modern adaptation. The casting was solid alongside the pacing, and I felt that all of the characters were fleshed out in interesting ways.
If you're going to comment, you need to evaluate this based on it's own merits, not be fanatical based on truthfulness to the original. How many times have we seen the "boat sinking" story? This new angle feels a lot more fresh and contemporary to me.
So that's my two cents. At least watch it and come up with your own opinion rather than just going along with what everyone else has said.
If you're going to comment, you need to evaluate this based on it's own merits, not be fanatical based on truthfulness to the original. How many times have we seen the "boat sinking" story? This new angle feels a lot more fresh and contemporary to me.
So that's my two cents. At least watch it and come up with your own opinion rather than just going along with what everyone else has said.
- jonathan-zabel
- Oct 31, 2005
- Permalink
I saw the original 1972 Poseidon Adventure a couple years ago and I loved it. I saw this hoping that it just did the original justice. And I think it did. This version is about a cruise liner, the S.S. Poseidon, that has terrorists on board that intend to blow up the ship. They plant a bomb and the ship takes in too much water and it capsizes. Only a group survive and head to the bottom of the ship that is above water. The group is lead by Mike Rogo, a homeland security agent, and a terrorist that he captured. It includes many of the original characters in different names, and a couple added. The deaths in the movie are predictable and many of them are pretty weak, but overall, it updated a great movie.
- lawofthebicycle
- Oct 8, 2005
- Permalink
Remember the tag line on the poster for the original? It was "Hell, Upside Down". Well, this little TV movie of the week is definitely from hell. And it does, of course, turn upside down. It may also turn your stomach upside down if you're stupid enough to sit through this garbage.
I can't believe anyone in their right minds would associate their names with this piece of dreck. Oh, I forgot. If I were Steve Guttenberg, I suppose I'd be thrilled if the phone rang with a job. Too bad he was home the day his agent called with this audition. Too bad he auditioned. Too bad he got it. Too bad he took it. But, I suppose he does have mortgage to pay. Bless his heart. But I shouldn't just pick on poor Steve. Ditto Rutger Hauer. Bless his heart, too.
The producer should be taken out and beaten with a stick. So should the executives at the network who decided to buy and air this. It must have been bring your toddler to work week at NBC, and some little one got into an office he shouldn't have, pushed a button and sent TV Guide their weekly listings with this reject in the Sunday night slot.
I can't believe I was able to sit through this whole thing. What an embarrassment. If you've got a few hours of your life to kill and don't mind throwing a chunk of it away, watch this if it ever comes out on DVD, which I pray to my personal God, for YOUR sake, Poseidon enthusiast, it wont! Let's hope for something better when the film remake comes out.
I'm not holding my breath.
PS - for those of you who don't know, Shande is a Yiddish word which translates to: THE MOST HORRENDOUS DISGRACE EVER! Belle would know. Well, Shelley would DEFINITELY know. This other hack cast in her part, I'm not so sure.
I can't believe anyone in their right minds would associate their names with this piece of dreck. Oh, I forgot. If I were Steve Guttenberg, I suppose I'd be thrilled if the phone rang with a job. Too bad he was home the day his agent called with this audition. Too bad he auditioned. Too bad he got it. Too bad he took it. But, I suppose he does have mortgage to pay. Bless his heart. But I shouldn't just pick on poor Steve. Ditto Rutger Hauer. Bless his heart, too.
The producer should be taken out and beaten with a stick. So should the executives at the network who decided to buy and air this. It must have been bring your toddler to work week at NBC, and some little one got into an office he shouldn't have, pushed a button and sent TV Guide their weekly listings with this reject in the Sunday night slot.
I can't believe I was able to sit through this whole thing. What an embarrassment. If you've got a few hours of your life to kill and don't mind throwing a chunk of it away, watch this if it ever comes out on DVD, which I pray to my personal God, for YOUR sake, Poseidon enthusiast, it wont! Let's hope for something better when the film remake comes out.
I'm not holding my breath.
PS - for those of you who don't know, Shande is a Yiddish word which translates to: THE MOST HORRENDOUS DISGRACE EVER! Belle would know. Well, Shelley would DEFINITELY know. This other hack cast in her part, I'm not so sure.
- jgoodfriend
- Jan 7, 2006
- Permalink
This film is only entertaining if you like watching bad movies. It's full of clichés, bad special effects huge plot holes, random acts of death and even a gratuitous hot chick in her underwear.
This adventure is over acted, poorly directed, poorly written, contrived (of course) and predictable. It could have been saved if they had done it using Legos. (cast included) There is no reason this needed to be 3 hours but no doubt NBC wanted to fit as many commercials into this time slot as possible.
If you like crap, then this is the film for you. Why did I watch it? Because I like to study disasters (in film) and this turned out to certainly be a classic.
This adventure is over acted, poorly directed, poorly written, contrived (of course) and predictable. It could have been saved if they had done it using Legos. (cast included) There is no reason this needed to be 3 hours but no doubt NBC wanted to fit as many commercials into this time slot as possible.
If you like crap, then this is the film for you. Why did I watch it? Because I like to study disasters (in film) and this turned out to certainly be a classic.
Having just watch the first remake of the classic Poseidon Adventure to be released, I can now safely say "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Not to say that this was a bad remake but it was not great either. Disappointing characters, none of which were endearing and it would not have been a huge loss if none of them got out. Good special effects, but not spectacular - lots of very average CG effects. The capsizing of the ship had no shock/horror effect of the original - it looked like it could be a lot of fun to go sliding across the polished floors, landing on your feet to walk up the wall to the roof of the ballroom. Let's just hope that the big screen "POSEIDON" due for release in 2006 is better than this small screen adaption. My last comment is "STELLA, STELLA, WHERE ARE YOU STELLA?"
- glenn-mcleod
- Oct 8, 2005
- Permalink
What a disappointment! I really like the 1972 film with Gene Hackman, not so much the bloated remake, but this is by far the worst of anything to do with The Poseidon Adventure. Granted, the production values are great on the whole, but everything else sinks faster than you can shout anchor.
Pace is a huge problem with this. The Poseidon Adventure(2005) is incredibly dull, with over an hour of sluggish pacing and little else. It does try to liven things up towards the end, but in the process trying too hard and trying to do too much. The story is very hackneyed, at first it seems as though it never leaves the deck then later on it feels bloated, also it is completely devoid of suspense, poignancy and foreboding. I would blame some of the plot additions for this, especially the terrorist one, which was stupid and added nothing to the story.
The Poseidon Adventure also feels very under-directed. Never in a TV series/movie have I seen a more soulless and clumsy directing job. And the dialogue is dreadful, often convoluted, very silly and unsure of which direction it wants to go. The acting doesn't fare that much better, Adam Baldwin and Steve Guttenberg are decent actors but because of the material being so poor not to mention their badly written and thoroughly unlikeable characters they and all the actors for that matter deserve much better than this.
Overall, had potential but ended up being a shipwreck. 1/10 Bethany Cox
Pace is a huge problem with this. The Poseidon Adventure(2005) is incredibly dull, with over an hour of sluggish pacing and little else. It does try to liven things up towards the end, but in the process trying too hard and trying to do too much. The story is very hackneyed, at first it seems as though it never leaves the deck then later on it feels bloated, also it is completely devoid of suspense, poignancy and foreboding. I would blame some of the plot additions for this, especially the terrorist one, which was stupid and added nothing to the story.
The Poseidon Adventure also feels very under-directed. Never in a TV series/movie have I seen a more soulless and clumsy directing job. And the dialogue is dreadful, often convoluted, very silly and unsure of which direction it wants to go. The acting doesn't fare that much better, Adam Baldwin and Steve Guttenberg are decent actors but because of the material being so poor not to mention their badly written and thoroughly unlikeable characters they and all the actors for that matter deserve much better than this.
Overall, had potential but ended up being a shipwreck. 1/10 Bethany Cox
- TheLittleSongbird
- Apr 26, 2011
- Permalink
Certainly from the school of "what the ...?", this production is ground-breaking on so many levels; terrible TV movies; needless remakes; mind boggling lack of logic; one dimensional characters; questionable casting of forgotten "C" listers; and how bad can Steve Guttenberg act - and now look?
I watched it because I love the original, and disaster movies in general. It was a chore to sit through the entire commercial-padded three hours. Wolfgang Peterson's "Poseidon" has only up to go from this trash.
One note: this is definitely NOT based on the original novel, as one piece of Trivia states. The ship of the novel flipped at dinner the day after Christmas; there were many more characters involved; a large number of passengers were rescued from the bow.
Not even fun in the bad movie realm. It stinks.
I watched it because I love the original, and disaster movies in general. It was a chore to sit through the entire commercial-padded three hours. Wolfgang Peterson's "Poseidon" has only up to go from this trash.
One note: this is definitely NOT based on the original novel, as one piece of Trivia states. The ship of the novel flipped at dinner the day after Christmas; there were many more characters involved; a large number of passengers were rescued from the bow.
Not even fun in the bad movie realm. It stinks.
I tried. Oh Lordy I tried for 2 hours, but figuring the last 50 minutes would be better spent staring at my cat, I gave up.
I usually have good things to say about even the worst movies. "Mars Needs Women"? Acting was actually pretty good. "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus"? The plane scene made my day.
But ""The Poseidon Adventure"" (I put in double quotes so not to associate it with any other works of a similar name) was so bad it was good... but then it rolled over into bad again. Beginning with a comic bookish raid on a terror cell (note how they blow the flimsy aluminum garage door open and it leaves a perfectly circular hole whilst leaving the rest of the door standing completely intact lol), the filmmakers immediately establish an irrelevant sideplot about the Department of Homeland Security and a bunch of other miscellaneous Tough American Guy outfits chasing terrorists.
This wouldn't have been so annoying if they hadn't wasted so much time on gratuitous military base scenes and random 1-scene actors running around like the beginning of the tv show Hogan's Heroes. I'm not exaggerating; almost half the movie isn't on the ship, it's about SEAL teams gearing up, military types barking orders, cheesy graphics of GPS satellites circling overhead (real suspenseful there) and soldiers playing poker.
You get the feeling early on that this movie, made in 2005, was just capitalizing on the post 9/11 go-team-USA vibe. It crosses over into propaganda territory with several lines about how Homeland Security doesn't have the funding it needs, as well as a laughable plug for racial profiling (A murder is committed on the ship, and within 5 minutes the Homeland Security guy narrows it down to the 3 culprits by looking at the ship's manifest and checking for people who are from "terrorist-harboring countries". I AM NOT KIDDING! Was Trump watching this trash when he cooked up his many travel ban(s)?
Oh wait, there's something about a boat. And passengers trying to escape. But the story is actually more focused on a husband having an affair with the ship's masseuse while his 2 kids run around the ship and discover dead bodies and stuff. And then there's a random French chick who decides to rip off her dress, like completely, so they can use the fabric to cover their mouths as they run through a fire. Who comes UP with this stuff???
Oh I gotta go, my cat just blinked. Victory is mine!
I usually have good things to say about even the worst movies. "Mars Needs Women"? Acting was actually pretty good. "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus"? The plane scene made my day.
But ""The Poseidon Adventure"" (I put in double quotes so not to associate it with any other works of a similar name) was so bad it was good... but then it rolled over into bad again. Beginning with a comic bookish raid on a terror cell (note how they blow the flimsy aluminum garage door open and it leaves a perfectly circular hole whilst leaving the rest of the door standing completely intact lol), the filmmakers immediately establish an irrelevant sideplot about the Department of Homeland Security and a bunch of other miscellaneous Tough American Guy outfits chasing terrorists.
This wouldn't have been so annoying if they hadn't wasted so much time on gratuitous military base scenes and random 1-scene actors running around like the beginning of the tv show Hogan's Heroes. I'm not exaggerating; almost half the movie isn't on the ship, it's about SEAL teams gearing up, military types barking orders, cheesy graphics of GPS satellites circling overhead (real suspenseful there) and soldiers playing poker.
You get the feeling early on that this movie, made in 2005, was just capitalizing on the post 9/11 go-team-USA vibe. It crosses over into propaganda territory with several lines about how Homeland Security doesn't have the funding it needs, as well as a laughable plug for racial profiling (A murder is committed on the ship, and within 5 minutes the Homeland Security guy narrows it down to the 3 culprits by looking at the ship's manifest and checking for people who are from "terrorist-harboring countries". I AM NOT KIDDING! Was Trump watching this trash when he cooked up his many travel ban(s)?
Oh wait, there's something about a boat. And passengers trying to escape. But the story is actually more focused on a husband having an affair with the ship's masseuse while his 2 kids run around the ship and discover dead bodies and stuff. And then there's a random French chick who decides to rip off her dress, like completely, so they can use the fabric to cover their mouths as they run through a fire. Who comes UP with this stuff???
Oh I gotta go, my cat just blinked. Victory is mine!
- spyanotherway
- Oct 8, 2005
- Permalink
- carlajenkins5
- Oct 8, 2005
- Permalink
- Diodorino-Rotolo1
- Jul 13, 2006
- Permalink
OK, this movie was not saved even by ADAM BALDWIN!! And what's up with ROBOCOP getting shot so soon in the movie? He was horrible!! And he was drinking on duty? And then there is that dude from Police Academy. Oh my GOD he was sad. When he said "Cruiseships are not supposed to capsize" I almost barfed out a lung. I mean, this was sad. Then there is Rutger Hauer and C Thomas Howell as a Priest and Ships doctor respectively? I was half expecting Rutger to allude to "The Hitcher" and talk about the juice that spurts out of an eyeball when stabbed. Then there is that dude who is a poor man's Michael Caine! Yes, that annoying Aussie from Cocktail. He was PATHETIC as a poorly baked cake on Hitler's birthday. His acting was sad and NOT good. Then there was this CRUISE SHIP that TERRORISTS happened to infiltrate? I have been on Carnival Cruise Line and trust me, there are NO TERRORIST LOOKING DUDES EVEN ALLOWED to work on those boats!! If you look like HodGee from Johnny Qwest, then you DO NOT GET HIRED! Avoid this movie and save yourself from TORTURE IN THE NINTH DEGREE OF HELL!