Hating Alison Ashley (2005)

Anthony Cleave: Harley Yurken

Quotes 

• Jedda Yurken : [calling from a distance]  Mum!

  [scene cuts to the kitchen] 

  Jedda Yurken : [wailing]  Barry Hollis teased me!

  Mum : [rolling her eyes in rage]  Barry Hollis!

  Jedda Yurken : [wailing and holding her ripped horse costume]  He tore off my tail!

  Mum : [to Erica, thinking it was her fault]  She's eight years old! How *dare* you leave her alone!

  [hugging Jedda while yelling at Erica] 

  Mum : I will kill you if you abandon her again!

  Erica Yurken : What was I supposed to do? She was eating someone's nature strip; blade by blade!

  Valjoy Yurken : [to Mum]  Uh, that's true, Mum. Jedda's a freak. You really can't blame Yuk for that.

  Erica Yurken : [with her mouth full]  Thanks, Valjoy! I'm glad someone...

  Valjoy Yurken : [slamming Erica against the wall, holding up her almost-empty bottle of perfume]  *This*, on the other hand, is a reason to strangle the slimy little snitch!

  [holding up the almost empty bottle] 

  Valjoy Yurken : You see that? I made a special mark on there, and look! Some's missing.

  [strangling Erica, holding her close to the wall] 

  Valjoy Yurken : You thieving piece of scum!

  Mum : [to Valjoy]  Valjoy, let your sister go and wait your bloody turn! I haven't finished with her!

  [leaves the house and checks the door] 

  Erica Yurken : [to Mum]  No mum, don't go!

  Valjoy Yurken : [to Erica]  Say goodnight, Yuk-Yuk!

  Mum : [to Valjoy, from the distance, seeing her friend at the door]  Valjoy! It's Scum!

  Valjoy Yurken : [picking up Erica and slamming her against the wall]  You're dead!

  [Valjoy lets her go, leaves and unzips her jacket. Jedda pokes her tongue out at Erica] 

  Mum : [seeing Valjoy's revealing and inappropriate outfit, while out with her friend]  Where do you think you're going dressed like that?

  Valjoy Yurken : [to Mum]  Hmm, let me think about it. *OUT*!

  Harley Yurken : [Harley enters the house, with his shirt on and his underwear, in front of Erica]  You guys home? Didn't see youse come in.

  Erica Yurken : [narrating]  Yep, and before you ask; there was no chance I was adopted. I'd already checked.