- Batman: Let me make myself clear. There's no room for a Batgirl in Gotham.
- Batgirl: That's cool, because it's Batwoman. As in I'm a grown woman and I don't need to listen to you.
- Batman: Then for your own safety, if you don't listen to me, I'm going to have tell your father, Ms. Gordon.
- Batgirl: Ah... You must have me confused with some else.
- [silent for a second]
- Batgirl: Dude! You just broke the superhero secret identity code.
- Alfred Pennyworth: The young man you were expecting apologizes. He won't be able to attend, I'm afraid.
- Becky: Let me guess. He's married.
- Alfred Pennyworth: To his work.
- Batman: If Catwoman were somehow, some way able to trace the signal back here...
- Alfred Pennyworth: We would have to rename it "The Catcave".
- Detective Ethan Bennett: You're through, Joker!
- The Joker: Ah, Detective, or should I say, Night Watchman.
- Detective Ethan Bennett: Oh, so you remember me now?
- The Joker: I've never forget a face I've tormented.
- The Joker: [upon noticing Hugo Strange] What a coinky dink! I wanted to talk about the Arkham diet. Too. Many. Nuts.
- Bruce Wayne: First day, Ethan. Nervous?
- Detective Ethan Bennett: I was a cop for six years, Bruce. You think I can't handle staring at a monitor?
- [steps into a room with monitor covered walls]
- Detective Ethan Bennett: Whoa!
- Bruce Wayne: Make that 350 monitors.
- The Penguin: [seeing Joker as The Batman] Joker?
- The Joker: I'm The Batman!
- The Penguin: You see the thing is... you're *not*!
- The Joker: The eggs, Penguin, or I scramble you!
- The Penguin: Are you out of your gourd? I'm in the middle of a heist! You don't see me barging in on your "Gas all of Gotham" schemes, do you? It is called professional courtesy!
- Batman: Keep a lookout.
- Detective Ellen Yin: I thought I was your partner.
- Batman: But you're not my sidekick.
- Commissioner James Gordon: Set up a perimeter. If Mr. Quake so much as breathes, I want someone there to tell me what he had for lunch.
- The Joker: Knock-knock!
- Killgore Steed: [opening the door] Evening, Joker.
- The Joker: [disappointed] You're supposed to say, "Who's there?"
- The Penguin: Please, now that all pretenses are off, call me Penguin - a flightless bird, but one with style.
- Batman: [about Killer Croc's plan] Tens of thousands will be killed.
- Killer Croc: And I'll shed a crocodile tear for each and every one of 'em.
- Barbara Gordon: Pam, you hired a thug!
- Pamela Isley: Yeah, you'd be surprised what you can find on the Internet.
- Poison Ivy: You're getting to be a real thorn in my side, Batman.
- Batman: And you're no rose, Poison Ivy.