Crystal Force 2: Dark Angel (1994 Video) User Reviews

The Wet T-Shirt Contest From Hell

[dmsesquire · 3/10 · 20 July 2017]

Jake (Chris Zawalki) is a bartender at Royal Oaks, easily one of the worst dives in cinematic history. He has a crush on one of his co-workers, Allison (Betsy Gardner) and he swears he'll do anything to get her. Enter Virgil (Paul Brewster), a mysterious stranger who appears at the bar and makes Jake his pet project. He's determined to get Jake laid, at any cost. His subsequent efforts to play matchmaker lead to a series of bizarre happenings, wherever he goes.

First, you have to keep in mind that this was shot with television cameras, giving the whole film the feel of a high-school project. For the most part, the direction and dialogue reinforce this first impression. The production is buoyed by Brewster's charismatic, sometimes humorous performance: He makes the best of a bad job. Jeff Markle lends support as the cop. Patrick Quinn makes the most of his on-screen time as the doctor.

There are some decent elements to the story, but it sure takes a long time to tell. Barry Mosley's score adds what atmosphere it can, but this is basically a soft-core porn film masquerading as a supernatural thriller. And, oh, those production values.

I liked this movie alot

[theyardumandstupid · 15 April 2004]

People say this movies bad like the guy in the other review but really its pretty good. Sure it has some odd placed porn scenes but they are pretty and i dont think that the people who were in it to begin with really knew what a good movie they were in because the crystal force 1 movie was alot better becuase of the crystal demon. I would buy this movie if i could afford it and i think that pretty much anyone who appreciates a good time at the movies or on the couch with some popcorn would liek this movie lots. some times people who watch it think that it is not a good camera that theyre using but that is the best camera they had at the time. if it is not how do you know it isnt? i think you should buy this movie!

The worst movie I have ever seen.

[adfan4567 · 1/10 · 2 April 2004]

Possible Spoilers (not that it really matters)

This is truly the worst movie I have ever seen. I am convinced that some people just made this as a weekend project because they were bored.

The "plot" to this movie is pretty lame. Basically, this loser wants a girl who only dates "bad guys". He is labeled as a nice guy and therefore will never have a chance of winning her over. That is until the dark angel comes and grants him that in exchange for her soul. The crystal element of this "movie" isn't really introduced until the final 10 minutes. If you are still watching then you are truly a special breed.

There are a few sex scenes which left me confused as whether this "movie" should be classified as porn or if the actors where just incredibly horny. Unless you like watching bad movies for the laughs (like me) I would advise you to never watch this movie.

not very good

[ethylester · 2/10 · 28 June 2004]

This movie has a lot of talking. Some scenes seem to go on forever as you get to hear the goutee'd "dark angel" guy spouting off all his philosophies on life and death. "Life is like a rushing river. You can either stand on the shore and watch it go by or you can jump in". Oh yes, many lines like this abound in this video-taped movie.

This guy reminds me of the kid in philosophy or English class that writes poetry, wears a black trench coat, listens to Nine Inch Nails, meditates and think he knows the answer to the universe and anyone who questions him gets a condescending laugh and added to his list of people who "just don't get it". And he probably collected swords or does karate or something. If you are like this, you might like this movie. MIGHT.

All in all, I thought "Joe" was kind of hot. And it was cool how they switched dimensions near the end and dealt with human afterlife. I thought it was neat how they decided what it was like when you're about to die. They did a good job making it believable. Well, everything except that giant gorilla suited beast man who the dark angel sent to the hospital to scare Joe. What the heck was that? That came out of nowhere!

Oh, and the blood at the beginning looks like BBQ sauce.

And whoever said the porn element was a bit much was right. Those scenes lasted way too long!

Not the best videotaped movie I've seen, but it was ok.

2/10

Fascinating, low budget Horror.

[Falconeer · 7/10 · 15 October 2020]

Movies like "Crystal Force: Dark Angel" are for a specific audience, namely fans of the obscure and the weird, those who don't think a film needs expensive production values to be entertaining. Typical fans of mainstream, Hollywood productions should avoid this ultra-low budget noir piece that deals with the age old subject of the perils of making a pact with the Devil. This is a 'shot-on-video' effort that still manages to tell an intriguing story without the flash and polish of a studio film. The "Dark Angel" of the fable is Virgil, a sexy, smooth talking, goatee-wearing demon, who appears to bartender Jake, when the romantic and sweet-natured good guy vows that he would give his soul to attract the attention of his co-worker, Allison. This is how Virgil collects souls, and when he appears in Jake's life, he initially seems to be a good friend, trying to instill in Jake a sense of self confidence and self worth. Things take a darker turn when the minion of Satan, who grows fangs at will and drinks both human and animal blood, gives the unsuspecting Jake a cocktail laced with his own demonic blood. and because this is essentially a vampire-themed film, drinking the blood of Virgil begins to transform Jake into the self confidant winner that will finally attract the attentions of his female obsession. Of course this power comes with a steep price.. Some sexy erotic love scenes help the production, as the cast is quite attractive, both male and female, and the climax is quite surreal. The dismal shooting locations inside this dark, dive bar actually add a somewhat dreamlike feeling of despair, to an already depressing study of the lives of the broken people who frequent those kind of run down venues. Once again, not recommended for casual movie fans. However those that enjoy discovering these kinds of independent, obscure oddities,just might enjoy this murky, yet sexy horror/noir piece..

It's that bad!!!

[brutalbeaver · 5 December 2004]

I've seen many bad horror movies. Heck I like most bad horror movies but even I couldn't get past some of the serious flaws in this one. Here are a few of the biggies: Lots of dialogue with very little substance, very poor acting, substandard special effects. It was exploitive, which, admittedly can sometimes be a plus in a low budget film. Unfortunately, the awkward placement of a naked girl here and there in this one, just wasn't enough to redeem it. The general story wasn't entirely horrible as an idea, (with a really terrific writer, it might have been fleshed out into a solidly mediocre screenplay) but it was contrived and very limiting to the film's scope. It looks like something that was thrown together over the course of a weekend by people who just wanted to kill time. If you want my advice, watch something else.