Bewitched (2005) Poster

(2005)

Will Ferrell: Jack Wyatt, Darrin

Photos 

Quotes 

  • Jack Wyatt : How would you like to be on a television show?

    Isabel Bigelow : An actress?

    Jack Wyatt : Yeah, if *I* can act, *you* can act.

    Book Soup Cafe Waitress : Amen.

    Jack Wyatt : [to girl]  You know what? I think those people over there just finished their plate of *hummus*.

  • Uncle Arthur : Do you want the long version or the short version? Keep in mind, the long version is in Aramaic.

    Jack Wyatt : The short version.

    Uncle Arthur : You got involved with a witch, and when you do that... weird stuff happens.

    Jack Wyatt : That's it?

    Uncle Arthur : Do I have to explain everything to you? Okay, here's the deal. I'm not real. Iris is a witch.

    Jack Wyatt : Iris is a witch?

    Uncle Arthur : Don't dwell. And in my opinion, that manager of yours, Richie...

    Jack Wyatt : What?

    Uncle Arthur : ...isn't even human!

  • Jack Wyatt : [takes a drink of something Uncle Arthur has just made in the blender]  This tastes awful!

    Uncle Arthur : I know. I just like to blend.

  • Jack Wyatt : [upon discovering Isabel is a witch]  Am I gonna get pregnant? Because I cannot get pregnant right now!

  • [last lines] 

    Gladys Kravitz : [Standing at their window]  Abner, come look! The new neighbors are movin' in!

    Abner Kravitz : [Reading the newspaper]  Not now, Gladys, I'm busy.

    Isabel Bigelow : [Outside, in front of their new house, Jack lifts Isabel]  Aaaah

    Jack Wyatt : Ah, yes, now I'm going to... carry you across the threshold

    [they enter] 

    Isabel Bigelow : Don't you think the front yard looks a little bare?

    Jack Wyatt : No, I don't.

    Isabel Bigelow : But I think it could use a little something.

    Jack Wyatt : I-I-It's fine the way it is, honey.

    [Nose wiggling sound, followed by cherry tree growing and blooming in the front yard] 

    Gladys Kravitz : Abner! A tree just appeard in the front yard!

    [She faints] 

  • Jack Wyatt : Umm... This is terrible!

    Uncle Arthur : I know! I just... love to blend!

  • [from trailer] 

    Isabel Bigelow : Guess what? I'm a witch!

    Jack Wyatt : Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan!

  • Jack Wyatt : So, were your parents in the witch business?

    Isabel Bigelow : Both of them. My mother fixed the 1986 World Series.

    Stu Robison : Someone make a note of that.

  • Valet : [to Isabel, who is trying to convince Jack that she is actually a witch]  Miss, could you direct me to your car.

    Jack Wyatt : [sarcastically]  Oh, she doesn't need a car, she has a broomstick.

  • Isabel Bigelow : [after quitting/being fired]  I can't just walk back in there now.

    Jack Wyatt : Once you show up in a golf cart, believe me, all is forgiven. I've done it a lot of times.

  • Jack Wyatt : Watch the road!

    Uncle Arthur : Hey, is it Porsche, or Porsha?

  • Isabel Bigelow : Oh, we're going to kiss aren't we?

    Jack Wyatt : I thought so. But, thanks for ruining the moment Miss Narrator.

  • Ritchie : Will you stop it? You're being the mayor of Pussytown!

    Jack Wyatt : I don't want to be the mayor of Pussytown!

    Ritchie : I want you to get out there and be the sheriff of Ballsville!

  • Jack Wyatt : Let's make love in a hot-air balloon - let's make love in a candy factory - let's make love in a petting zoo...

    Isabel Bigelow : I have to undo this...

    Jack Wyatt : Let's make love at Sea World on the back of a killer whale!

  • Jack Wyatt : I'm going to be killed by a fictional character!

    Uncle Arthur : Yes, you are.

  • Jack Wyatt : [under Isabel's spell]  Where art thou dog? Thy canine lover? / Where is thy hot breath on the nape of my neck? / We shall form a bond, man and beast. / You will lick my face and I shall lick your snout.

    [spell breaks] 

    Jack Wyatt : Er guys, I swear I'm not doing this on purpose.

  • Jack Wyatt : Where is my dog? I will die if I do not have him back! Do you understand me? I WILL DIE IF I DO NOT HAVE HIM BACK!

  • Jack Wyatt : Your home... is with me.

  • Isabel Bigelow : But everyone loves duck...

    Jack Wyatt : No, they don't!

  • Jack Wyatt : [from teaser trailer]  I'm hanging on to your broom. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

  • Isabel Bigelow : I just want to be normal.

    Jack Wyatt : Acting is BETTER than normal. You get to PRETEND to be normal.

  • Jack Wyatt : Endora, you rancid fruit bag, get out of my room.

  • Jack Wyatt : [reading a comment on his performance]  I'm a tool?

    Ritchie : Yeah, but a good tool. Like a jack-saw!

  • Jack Wyatt : Party at my house!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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