Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (2004 Video Game)

Paul Eiding: Colonel Campbell

Quotes 

• Colonel Campbell : [after "accidentally" killing Ocelot]  Snake, what have you done? You've changed history. You've created a Time Paradox!

• Solid Snake : [on radio before starting Snake vs Monkey]  I'll say this once and only once. I'm not taking out any more Metal Gears! Not rescuing any old men, or VIP. If it's a hot damsel in distress, I'll think about it.

  Colonel Campbell : Well, it's not exactly a hot damsel, but it is a rescue mission.

  Solid Snake : What are we rescuing?

  Colonel Campbell : Apes.

  Solid Snake : What?

  Colonel Campbell : Monkeys.

  Solid Snake : Again, what?

• Colonel Campbell : [after 'accidentally' killing Ocelot]  Snake, what have you done? You've changed the future! You've created a Time Paradox!

• Solid Snake : This is Snake. I've made it to the sneaking point.

  Colonel Campbell : You're right on time, Snake.

  Solid Snake : For being dragged out of the sack at two in the morning, I did my best.

  Colonel Campbell : Rise and shine. Don't you love mornings!

  Solid Snake : Colonel... nobody loves being dragged away from their vacation.

  Colonel Campbell : I'm sorry but we needed you. Something big is going down... very big. That's why...

  Solid Snake : Alright, so what is this important mission? I'll say it once and only once... I'm not taking out any Metal Gears.

  Colonel Campbell : Don't worry.

  Solid Snake : And no saving some VIP or old man.

  Colonel Campbell : It's nothing like that.

  Solid Snake : If it's a hot damsel in distress, I'll think about it.

  Colonel Campbell : Well, it's not quite a... hot damsel in distress... but it is a rescue mission.

  Solid Snake : Rescuing who?

  Colonel Campbell : Apes.

  Solid Snake : ...

  Colonel Campbell : ...

  Solid Snake : What?

  Colonel Campbell : Monkeys! But not just any monkeys.

  Solid Snake : You said monkeys?

  Colonel Campbell : Just listen. Your mission is to infiltrate the jungle and capture all of the monkeys.

  Solid Snake : Again, you said monkeys?

  Colonel Campbell : Yes, monkeys.

  Solid Snake : This isn't really my thing... If you want your monkeys, you better ask Spike or Jimmy.

  Colonel Campbell : Unfortunately, they weren't available.

  Solid Snake : What about me? I was on vacation!

• Colonel Campbell : Snake, we need you. If you don't do this, who will?

  Solid Snake : It's not like someone else couldn't handle a stealth mission.

  Colonel Campbell : Don't say that. This is the genre we turned over every leaf in.

  Solid Snake : Why don't you make Sam or Gabe do the job?

  Colonel Campbell : Snake...

  Solid Snake : Isn't this just some monkey catching action?

  Colonel Campbell : Snake, I'm asking you. It's a request from the Professor himself.

  Solid Snake : THE Professor...? Natalie's grandfather?

  Solid Snake : That's the one.

  Solid Snake : The one who came up with the monkey helmet?

  Colonel Campbell : Well, that was the Professor's classmate.

  Solid Snake : His classmate?

  Colonel Campbell : From high school. Not only that, but the Professor is a friend of Otacon's.

  Solid Snake : He's Otacon's friend, too?

  Colonel Campbell : It's because of the Professor that Otacon has been able to come up with some of his inventions.

  Solid Snake : ...Alright... what are the details?

  Colonel Campbell : So you'll do it, great!

  Solid Snake : I'm not against some "monkey catching." But I'd rather be collecting pants.

  Colonel Campbell : Snake, the monkeys have fled into the jungle. When you find them, knock them out for capture.

  Solid Snake : Right. I'm not going to be able to grab them when they are jumping all around the place.

  Colonel Campbell : Right. When you've grabbed all of the monkeys, your mission is complete.

  Solid Snake : Gotcha. Commencing Operation Ape Snake.

  Colonel Campbell : Snake, when you capture a monkey, yell out the password. With the password, a warp device will activate.

  Solid Snake : Understood.

  Colonel Campbell : Good. I'm counting on you, Snake.