Monsturd (2003 Video)

Dalia Vidor: Waitress

Quotes 

• Sheriff Duncan : So how's about that chili cook-off? Word has it you're a shoo-in for first place this year.

  Waitress : Flattery will get you everywhere, Tom. I hear Cajun Charlie's whipping up a batch of his ass-kicking, bowel-bomber con carne.

  Sheriff Duncan : Shit, Cajun Charlie ain't got nothin' on you, honey.

  Waitress : You old sweet-talker, how about taking a dozen glazed old-fashioned when you go? I know Dan and Rick like 'em.

  Sheriff Duncan : How about you sit on my face and make me look like a glazed donut? Ain't no cop worth his badge that doesn't take your donuts home honey.

  Waitress : Any time, honey.

• Waitress : I hear tell Jack Schmidt escaped from Hardell last night and disappeared into the sewer.

  Sheriff Duncan : I wouldn't exactly say he disappeared... he got shot by a Federal Marshall... he fell into a vat of boiling acid and all the skin was ripped off his body.

  Waitress : So he's dead then?

  Sheriff Duncan : Yup.