Quite simply, the best feature film about a present-day, super-hero Jesus who wears spandex tights and fights Hitler, Nixon and Jim Morrison to save the world. 11th commandment - thou shalt see this movie, or I'll see you in Hell!
14 Reviews
Not so good...
cheitman2322 June 2004
Normally I don't like to bash indie cinema (It's more fun to trash movies that are poorly crafted but cost $$$ to make) but I have to make an exception. I was fooled by the high IMDb rating and reviews on this turkey, which must have
been posted by friends of the creator. Let me say upfront that I'm far from
religious, and appreciate good satire in the vein of Election. This was too dumb to be called satire.
A Jesus with a whiny Brookyln accent shows up nude in NYC (a'la "The Terminator") and crafts a spandex powder blue "superhero costume" to relate to today's youth. Lots of scatology and sex jokes as Jesus turns the
commandments to pro casual sex to win converts. The video and especially
audio are sub-porno quality. "Jesus" fights Richard Nixon (guy in rubber Nixon mask) Jim Morrison and Dracula. An interesting concept badly executed. Look
elsewhere for religious humor not so puerile, I suggest "The Life of Brian".
been posted by friends of the creator. Let me say upfront that I'm far from
religious, and appreciate good satire in the vein of Election. This was too dumb to be called satire.
A Jesus with a whiny Brookyln accent shows up nude in NYC (a'la "The Terminator") and crafts a spandex powder blue "superhero costume" to relate to today's youth. Lots of scatology and sex jokes as Jesus turns the
commandments to pro casual sex to win converts. The video and especially
audio are sub-porno quality. "Jesus" fights Richard Nixon (guy in rubber Nixon mask) Jim Morrison and Dracula. An interesting concept badly executed. Look
elsewhere for religious humor not so puerile, I suggest "The Life of Brian".
Wow! this 'movie' really really sucked!!!
xdeutsch2 August 2004
Please stay away from this piece of garbage. It is likely to induce drowsiness and should only be watched by those without a sense of humour, looking to waste 1hr 36 mins of their lives or anyone else who enjoys totally uncreative and mind numbingly boring garbage. It is rather unfortunate that anyone with a camera, free time on their hands and spare change in their wallet can make movies these days. This movie could very likely have been ripped off a failing fourth graders essay paper.Trust me, it was that bad and I am being as polite and considerate as I possibly can. My rating: 1.25 (Mostly for the costume :-) )
Ultra-Cheapo!
Urantia6 March 2012
A reincarnation of Judas Iscariot himself could not have done a better job of cinematically betraying Jesus as the makers of this unpleasant reminder that practically anyone with a video camera and a few bucks in his/her pocket can become an indie-producer nowadays (but not necessarily a competent or successful one). Did not the director learn anything in film school about what it means when the red part of the audio meters catch on fire because the sound was recorded a tad too hot? I cannot think of a better example of just how low sub-standard production values can regrettably sink to than this trailer-trashy ultra-sick-flick. I am seriously talking here about a level of gross neglect of basic quality control standards that is so far below the bottom-of-the-barrel basement that it comes out somewhere on the other side of our planet! And this kind of sub-amateurishness is particularly ultra-offensive if they actually think their end product sizzles with creativity (when it is more like the antithesis of creativity). And I hate that for the title of this Jesus-bashing foolishness they use ULTRA in conjunction with Christ and then throw an exclamation mark in there as though to add some emotional emphasis. Am I supposed to gasp or faint or sigh or go "Oooooh, how clever. Oh my!" or fast-forward to the end credits so I can read the names of the ungodly perpetrators of this cosmic crime, an evil attack against God and All Beings who are forever Holy and Divine?
Christ basically means THE ANOINTED ONE. It is not a new brand of toothpaste guaranteed to cleanse your decaying enamel of all forms of tartar and iniquity and so why attach ULTRA to it as though it was? Woe unto thee, you mischievously wicked malcontents who peddle your dirty little damnation deed perhaps inspired by some demonically-flavored Satan-seed!
So to sum up this movie in just a few words: Slander! Blasphemy! Sacrilege! Ultra-Judas! Ultra-Iscariot!
Christ basically means THE ANOINTED ONE. It is not a new brand of toothpaste guaranteed to cleanse your decaying enamel of all forms of tartar and iniquity and so why attach ULTRA to it as though it was? Woe unto thee, you mischievously wicked malcontents who peddle your dirty little damnation deed perhaps inspired by some demonically-flavored Satan-seed!
So to sum up this movie in just a few words: Slander! Blasphemy! Sacrilege! Ultra-Judas! Ultra-Iscariot!
Enjoyably silly
jhs3916 July 2004
This ultra silly, very low-budget comedy sometimes felt like a Lenny Bruce bit brought to life--he used to do sketches on what would happen if Jesus came back. The humor isn't exactly inspired but there are enough laughs to make this one a pleasant surprise for people who aren't easily offended by religious themed humor.
Ultimately the movie is no more irreverent than what they do with the Jesus character on South Park, so I doubt that too many people outside of the bible belt will really have a problem with this.
If you're looking for something fun to rent you could do a lot worse than Ultrachrist.
Ultimately the movie is no more irreverent than what they do with the Jesus character on South Park, so I doubt that too many people outside of the bible belt will really have a problem with this.
If you're looking for something fun to rent you could do a lot worse than Ultrachrist.
Boring AF
genevieveouellet9 October 2021
A Good time
karalynnn26 April 2005
I found Ultrachrist to be a laugh out loud good time. Jonathan C. Green's portrayal of the childlike savior returned to earth was great fun. The opening of the film is totally cute and the Finale is as well. Yes the movie is low budget but it is a Hoot. My only problem was it seemed to drag along near the end. It is only 92 minutes long but begins to feel like it is +2 hours, before the resolution occurs. For those wondering about a rating PG is pretty much what it qualifies for with Kissing Lipstick Lesbians and an Dominatrix. Overall the acting was sketchy but no one rents a movie this low budget expecting Academy Award winning anything. I had a good time and it wasn't even that blasphemous.
Super-low budget, but super-big laughs ...
tomwww23 June 2004
Whoa, this movie looks cheap. It looks like it was shot on the streets of New York City with nothing but $14 and a silver superhero suit. The good news is, it's pretty funny. A few sidesplitters, and solid chuckles up until the end, which is utterly hilarious.
The premise is that Jesus comes back to Earth in the modern day and finds he's a bit of a freak. He meets a seamstress and has her make him a superhero costume so he'll be able to relate. Then the Antichrist (who's the NYC Parks Commissioner, for some reason), resurrects the greatest sinners in history to fight Ultrachrist, and then ... then things get kind of weird.
While the movie may dwell a little long on some subplots (a romance between a pretty reporter and Jesus's angel sidekick may be a tad too much gravy), it manages to sustain momentum throughout, and by the final twenty minutes, when Jesus and Satan go head-to-head at what seems to be a benefit Honkytonk concert, it's reached deliriously crazy highs of hilarity.
Minor masterpiece? Maybe not ... but I did appreciate that the movie didn't stoop to lowbrow scatological humor at all (obscure political references are more its thing), and the performances (except a few where it's clearly someones friend or sister) are quite good -- particularly Jonathan C. Green as Jesus/Ultrachrist.
If you can tolerate low production values, bad sound and Klezmer music, Ultrachrist! is a movie worth checking out.
The premise is that Jesus comes back to Earth in the modern day and finds he's a bit of a freak. He meets a seamstress and has her make him a superhero costume so he'll be able to relate. Then the Antichrist (who's the NYC Parks Commissioner, for some reason), resurrects the greatest sinners in history to fight Ultrachrist, and then ... then things get kind of weird.
While the movie may dwell a little long on some subplots (a romance between a pretty reporter and Jesus's angel sidekick may be a tad too much gravy), it manages to sustain momentum throughout, and by the final twenty minutes, when Jesus and Satan go head-to-head at what seems to be a benefit Honkytonk concert, it's reached deliriously crazy highs of hilarity.
Minor masterpiece? Maybe not ... but I did appreciate that the movie didn't stoop to lowbrow scatological humor at all (obscure political references are more its thing), and the performances (except a few where it's clearly someones friend or sister) are quite good -- particularly Jonathan C. Green as Jesus/Ultrachrist.
If you can tolerate low production values, bad sound and Klezmer music, Ultrachrist! is a movie worth checking out.
Let's Throw Sin A Curve ...
fwomp28 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's ...ULTRACHRIST! Flipping religion on its head, Ultrachrist seeks to enlighten the follies of following scripture to the letter by returning Christ to Earth 2,000 years after his death. Oh! And he's come back to usher in peace for all mankind. The trouble is that he's completely out of touch with modern society. As soon as Christ returns to Earth (ala The Terminator style), he realizes many things have changed: clothes, personal philosophy, neon signs, and, oy!, religion.
Christ (Jonathan C. Green) gets a crash course in what the world wants by first bellying up to a bar with a drunken man and discovering what's become of humanity. Discouraged but not deterred, he soon runs into Molly (Celia A. Montgomery), a young seamstress who falls for Jesus and decides to help him regain his ministry on Earth. She makes him a superhero spandex costume and poof!, the Ultrachrist is born. Running around New York in his new outfit, Christ diverts sin wherever it appears, but no one is heeding his words...
Perhaps sin needs redefining.
God (Don Creech, GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK) doesn't like what his son is doing on Earth so sends down Ira, the Patron Saint of Erotic Massage, to get rid of Jesus' ridiculous costume and to set his son back on the path of righteousness. But Ira's attempts are hindered by his own Earthly desires and by The Devil (aka, The Parks Commissioner).
Satin (Samuel Bruce Campbell, THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH), not happy that Jesus has finally returned, resurrects some of the meanest and most evil people the world has ever known (from Hitler to ...uh ...Jim Morrison?) But Beelzebub is the least of the Ultrachrist's problems. He must overcome the "sin of sex," something he's been unable to do since witnessing his mother "get-down" with another man (if Jesus gets "excited", his hands bleed).
With Ira's, Molly's, and his father's help, Jesus changes the sin rule book and thus helps banish all of the foes thrown at him by Lucifer.
This low-budget flick isn't for everyone. Those who find religious satire revolting or insulting most certainly should NOT watch it. If you don't like B-movie production standards, avoid it. But if you like to chuckle at the ridiculousness of religious fanaticism, this is something you most surely should check out.
The production standards are okay but nothing to praise. The acting is equally tepid. The script, however, is quite good. Ira belongs on the set of Seinfeld, and Jesus would be right at home in a rough Brooklyn neighborhood (i.e., his accent). But these things also added to the humor of the movie. It's not supposed to be taken seriously and doesn't attempt it ...which I found absolutely great! If you seen and enjoyed FILM GEEK, SPACEMAN, or other minimal budget films, this one is right up your alley.
Christ (Jonathan C. Green) gets a crash course in what the world wants by first bellying up to a bar with a drunken man and discovering what's become of humanity. Discouraged but not deterred, he soon runs into Molly (Celia A. Montgomery), a young seamstress who falls for Jesus and decides to help him regain his ministry on Earth. She makes him a superhero spandex costume and poof!, the Ultrachrist is born. Running around New York in his new outfit, Christ diverts sin wherever it appears, but no one is heeding his words...
Perhaps sin needs redefining.
God (Don Creech, GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK) doesn't like what his son is doing on Earth so sends down Ira, the Patron Saint of Erotic Massage, to get rid of Jesus' ridiculous costume and to set his son back on the path of righteousness. But Ira's attempts are hindered by his own Earthly desires and by The Devil (aka, The Parks Commissioner).
Satin (Samuel Bruce Campbell, THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH), not happy that Jesus has finally returned, resurrects some of the meanest and most evil people the world has ever known (from Hitler to ...uh ...Jim Morrison?) But Beelzebub is the least of the Ultrachrist's problems. He must overcome the "sin of sex," something he's been unable to do since witnessing his mother "get-down" with another man (if Jesus gets "excited", his hands bleed).
With Ira's, Molly's, and his father's help, Jesus changes the sin rule book and thus helps banish all of the foes thrown at him by Lucifer.
This low-budget flick isn't for everyone. Those who find religious satire revolting or insulting most certainly should NOT watch it. If you don't like B-movie production standards, avoid it. But if you like to chuckle at the ridiculousness of religious fanaticism, this is something you most surely should check out.
The production standards are okay but nothing to praise. The acting is equally tepid. The script, however, is quite good. Ira belongs on the set of Seinfeld, and Jesus would be right at home in a rough Brooklyn neighborhood (i.e., his accent). But these things also added to the humor of the movie. It's not supposed to be taken seriously and doesn't attempt it ...which I found absolutely great! If you seen and enjoyed FILM GEEK, SPACEMAN, or other minimal budget films, this one is right up your alley.
The second Second Coming comes with laughs
FilmFlaneur13 January 2006
Just a couple of years after Jesus Christ VAMPIRE HUNTER comes ULTRACHRIST, which features another superhero Lord (I know what you're thinking, that one waits for a millennium without seeing even one, and now...) this time He's complete with Spandex outfit, hilariously reminiscent of Monty Python's famous Bicycle Repair Man. Christ returns to earth, Terminator-like, to start His second ministry and promptly moves in with two lipstick lesbians as a base for His low key, but gormlessly naive operations. Meanwhile His old adversary, now running the city's Park Department and local drugs cartel, sends out adversaries - choosing the most evil figures in history (being Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon and, er, Jim Morrison, naturally enough) against Him. Elsewhere, in a pizza parlour in Heaven, God Himself is mightily annoyed at developments and sends an emissary (the Archangel Ira, the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Erotic Massage) to strip Jesus of His Spandex and thereby reduce the Almighty's embarrassment..
More deftly put together than JCVH, but without the endearingly loopy songs or pastiche kung fu, ULTRACHRIST is just as low budget while still being amusing, and just as essential viewing by way of a further addition to this growing, peculiar mini genre of Christ as crime fighter. As Jesus, Jonathan C Green is perhaps more believable than the previous filmic resurrection ("The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!" he opines), and has more charm of presence, but believability is hardly a key issue here. My favourite bad taste moment is when Jesus' stigmata, after he's excited, ejaculates blood all over his wannabe girlfriend's blouse...
More deftly put together than JCVH, but without the endearingly loopy songs or pastiche kung fu, ULTRACHRIST is just as low budget while still being amusing, and just as essential viewing by way of a further addition to this growing, peculiar mini genre of Christ as crime fighter. As Jesus, Jonathan C Green is perhaps more believable than the previous filmic resurrection ("The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!" he opines), and has more charm of presence, but believability is hardly a key issue here. My favourite bad taste moment is when Jesus' stigmata, after he's excited, ejaculates blood all over his wannabe girlfriend's blouse...
That's a lotta stigmata!
Park2sp13 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
OK, so clearly it was a group of friends having fun on a shoestring budget, and certainly there are jokes and references I'm not going to get because I'm not from NY. If the that sort of goofiness bothers you, then this is not a movie for you.
The outrageousness of the premise only goes so far, and you can tell that the Dye and Hoffman were struggling a little to keep the funny going sometimes. However, I thought it was really enjoyable. Also, though the outrageousness admittedly only goes so far, it does still go really really far. The acting was hilarious (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally). There were some really fantastic one-liners, and there's even a message... of sorts.
The question we are left with, was that really just a back rub Ira was giving to Mother Mary?
The outrageousness of the premise only goes so far, and you can tell that the Dye and Hoffman were struggling a little to keep the funny going sometimes. However, I thought it was really enjoyable. Also, though the outrageousness admittedly only goes so far, it does still go really really far. The acting was hilarious (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally). There were some really fantastic one-liners, and there's even a message... of sorts.
The question we are left with, was that really just a back rub Ira was giving to Mother Mary?
Better than Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Much better.
pigweed20037 December 2004
I adored this movie. I mean, who (barring right wing Christian fundamentalists, who seem to be offended at the drop of a hat, which I think counts as nudity to them) would not be at the very least intrigued by the premise of this movie: Jesus comes back to Earth and dons spandex to become a sin-fighting superhero in Manhattan? The scene where Jesus crosses paths with Dracula is worth the price of the rental all on it's own.
That's about all I really need to say. If you're not turned on, then nothing I can say after that will make you like this film. If you are...go find it and have yourself a great time accepting Ultrachrist as your personal savior from normalcy.
That's about all I really need to say. If you're not turned on, then nothing I can say after that will make you like this film. If you are...go find it and have yourself a great time accepting Ultrachrist as your personal savior from normalcy.
Milk-through-the-nose funny!
Dr_Know28 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Got this through Netflix and have watched it 3 times so far. If you like irreverent comedy with many layers to it (by which I mean The Simpsons or South Park or the Marx Brothers -- not Scary Movie 3 or lame skits on Saturday Night Live) you will go nuts for Ultrachrist! I don't know much about director Kerry Dye but I expect he is a madman with a lot of other great project to come. Without giving away spoilers, you should check this film out for the sexy-stigmata scene alone! A movie like this would be easy to do with a lot of cheap shots at religion, but this movie is not offensive (I attend church regularly and didn't get too angry -- Jesus IS the good guy here) and, in very small doses, makes you think. ..much like the best episodes of South Park. Anyway, I thought this was very entertaining.
A second coming that has you second guessing...
Gogog14 April 2003
Lots of fun--smart, witty, charming, and enjoyable. Even the premise--Jesus returns to earth as a superhero--suggests good times. A must see, especially with a group of friends. It leaves you all feeling happy and ready to turn the other cheek....
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