- [original opening, with clips of Peter in a demolition derby]
- Announcer: Whether it's ancient combat or modern sport, winning is what it's all about.
- Peter: I have to conquer a skill that I know absolutely nothing about.
- Announcer: But how do you win?
- Demolition derby announcer: The History Channel car is history!
- Announcer: This man has learned the hard way. Now he's ready to show you.
- [about to enter a demolition derby]
- Peter: I have performed Shakespeare in front of Her Majesty the Queen and an audience of thousands. I have been to the dentist all my life. I have been shot at with guns and bows. But I have never been so scared in all my life.