- Martha Stewart: I want cotton. I want three-hundred thread count minimum, or this face doesn't sell these sheets. Just because Kmart sells inexpensive products doesn't mean they can't be beautiful. That's why I'm here: not to sink to your level, but to raise you to mine.
- Martha Stewart: Hi, I'm Martha Stewart. Sometimes we learn something new about orchids. But today we're going to learn an entirely new recipe with lima beans. Are you kidding me? Where are the lima beans? I'm sitting here talking about lima beans, and there aren't any? Someone on my staff forgot to put out the lima beans? Excuse me?! Why is everyone here so stupid?