Going into Secret Dalliance, I had a very vague idea what it was about. I read a little blurb about it being about some dude with a penis problem. Which in the past would have been more than enough to sell me, but as of late that immature idea just hasn't been speaking to me as much. The CATIII rating for the movie though, that pushed me right ahead. And damn, I should have listened to my initial instinct.
Secret Dalliance is about a dude who through some type of "healer" help got his weiner to grow to extraordinary lengths, around two feet in length. Well he's having some problems with his equipment. It's going hard and soft at the wrong times. Him and his pal find out that he may turn into a monster if his problem persists. So they go out to find the "Saint" who did this to him. I'm gonna stop right there with the story, because this movie is awful.
There are plot-holes among plot-holes and is easily one of the worst sex/comedies I've ever seen. First off, they refer to the dudes penis as a "dildo". I never knew people called weiners, dildos. That itself for people like me is kind of confusing. Because for a little bit I thought this dude just has a big plastic dildo underneath his pants. But you eventually realize, their using the word dildo for penis. Another very disappointing thing about Secret Dalliance is that the sex scenes were really awful. Almost every sex scene the dude is humping with his pants on, and we're supposed to believe they're having sex. A couple scenes the woman is wearing a thong and the dude is wearing pants, and they're still humping away like they're having sex. Really stupid stuff. The movie has a couple scenes where you may giggle because Dildo Dude uses his big weiner to hit people and stuff, but besides any silly use of the huge dong, this movie falls flat. I can complain about many other things concerning Secret Dalliance, but I'll just complain about one more thing, the ending. It didn't make any sense. It just ends abruptly during a chase scene. I guess you're supposed to assume the dude is healed and they get away. Oh man, this movie sucked.
Overall, this is by far the worst CATIII rated film I've ever seen. The movie does have a bunch of sex scenes, but like I said, they're awful. There is one, maybe two girls who show their bushes, and you do get to see some below average looking boobs, but seriously this movie has barely anything going for it. If you want to see a lame attempt at a sex/comedy this is for you. Only for completists. 3.5 outta 10
EDIT: I've just read that this flick is a continuation to The Karma of Sex. So there may be a possibility that this isn't the last in the installments either.
Secret Dalliance is about a dude who through some type of "healer" help got his weiner to grow to extraordinary lengths, around two feet in length. Well he's having some problems with his equipment. It's going hard and soft at the wrong times. Him and his pal find out that he may turn into a monster if his problem persists. So they go out to find the "Saint" who did this to him. I'm gonna stop right there with the story, because this movie is awful.
There are plot-holes among plot-holes and is easily one of the worst sex/comedies I've ever seen. First off, they refer to the dudes penis as a "dildo". I never knew people called weiners, dildos. That itself for people like me is kind of confusing. Because for a little bit I thought this dude just has a big plastic dildo underneath his pants. But you eventually realize, their using the word dildo for penis. Another very disappointing thing about Secret Dalliance is that the sex scenes were really awful. Almost every sex scene the dude is humping with his pants on, and we're supposed to believe they're having sex. A couple scenes the woman is wearing a thong and the dude is wearing pants, and they're still humping away like they're having sex. Really stupid stuff. The movie has a couple scenes where you may giggle because Dildo Dude uses his big weiner to hit people and stuff, but besides any silly use of the huge dong, this movie falls flat. I can complain about many other things concerning Secret Dalliance, but I'll just complain about one more thing, the ending. It didn't make any sense. It just ends abruptly during a chase scene. I guess you're supposed to assume the dude is healed and they get away. Oh man, this movie sucked.
Overall, this is by far the worst CATIII rated film I've ever seen. The movie does have a bunch of sex scenes, but like I said, they're awful. There is one, maybe two girls who show their bushes, and you do get to see some below average looking boobs, but seriously this movie has barely anything going for it. If you want to see a lame attempt at a sex/comedy this is for you. Only for completists. 3.5 outta 10
EDIT: I've just read that this flick is a continuation to The Karma of Sex. So there may be a possibility that this isn't the last in the installments either.
