Waiting... (I) (2005)
Justin Long: Dean
Photos
Quotes
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Dean : [to Monty, regarding Calvin] No, wait a minute. You have to *get* the pussy before you can be whipped by it.
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Dean : Too late, you're fucked!
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Dean : [meeting new trainee Mitch] Listen, man. You got nothing to worry about.
[pats Mitch on shoulder]
Dean : It's just a game.
Monty : Exactly.
Dean : And besides, you know, if heterosexual men can't show their cocks to each other, then what the hell are we doing here?
Monty : Amen, brother.
Dean : [tweaking Mitch's nipple] You're adorable.
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Dean : Calvin, what happens with every girl you're interested in?
Monty : Nothing!
Dean : You take 'em out, you pay for everything, and you never make a move!
Monty : And then you go home, alone, to masturbate while you cry, using your own tears as lube...
[cut off]
Calvin : Ok, that was once, and I was drunk, and *it was Valentine's Day*. So back off.
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Dan : Now I'm not gonna lie to you. The job comes with more responsibility, but it offers a lot more rewards.
Dan : You get full medical, dental,two-weeks' paid vacation, and I might add a hefty pay increase. I do pretty well.
Dean : Cool.
Dan : It is cool. And let's not forget the power.
Dean : Right.
Dan : Control. You tell people to do things, and they have to do it, or they get in trouble.
Dan : I mean, you're in the driver's seat here. Your finger's on the button. - Think about it.
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Natasha : Dean.
Dean : What?
Natasha : The old lady at Table 37 wants you to sing the birthday song for her grandson. His name is Timmy, and he's eight years old.
Dean : [tosses a cake with Happy Birthday onto the counter from the box] I need birthday singers!
Monty : Come on, people! We need birthday singers!
Naomi : Fuck.
Dean : [the gang walk toward Table 37, clapping and cheering. Dean holds out the cake and brings it to the table, spotting Timmy] There he is. There's the big winner.
[sets the cake onto the table where Timmy is]
Monty : [excitedly] Yeah!
Dean : All right. Attention, guests! Today's a very special occasion. It's Timmy's eighth birthday! Big round of applause.
[the guests cheer and applaud]
Dean : He's earned it. He's got his whole life ahead of him. The sky's the limit.
Dean : [singing] I don't know but I've been told.
Monty , Amy , Naomi , Serena , Calvin : [singing] Someone here is getting old!
Dean : [singing, Timmy looks frightened] Good news is dessert is free.
Monty , Amy , Naomi , Serena , Calvin : [singing] Bad news is we sing off-key!
Dean : [singing] Happy birthday...
Dean , Monty , Amy , Naomi , Serena , Calvin : [point to Timmy, in unison] TO YOU!
[Timmy starts crying in embarrassment, the waiters applaud and cheer. One of them holds up Timmy's arm and waves it in the air]
Natasha : Look at the camera!
[holding a camera]
Dean : Picture time.
[the camera snaps and we're revealed the photograph of all the waiters and Timmy posed for the picture, Timmy still cries in the background as this happens]
Dean : All right. All right. Cry it off.