I was flipping channels the other day, looking for something interesting to watch, when I came across this horrific documentary focusing on the practice of genital mutilation in Kenya. I couldn't make it through the entire film without shedding a fair amount of tears. Throughout the documentary we are shown different families and different girls that either are going through with the procedure or have already gone through with it. One young lady had gotten the clitoryldectomy forcibly when she was 8 and had also gotten her vagina stitched so that it was only a tiny hole. Now that she's older and recently married she wants the stitches removed through the practice of a gynecologist but her husband refuses it because he believes his friends will laugh at him...and he feels he should be the one to do it, even though there is a great risk in her getting an infection...not to mention it will hurt like hell. It really had me disgusted that these people actually believe the female genitalia to be ugly, sinful and dirty. There was this one older lady they showed that actually performed the mutilations. She went on and on about how gross and dirty and horrible the female organ is and how every girl needs to get it removed because it's God's will... Then she proceeded to perform the operation on two girls, ages 8 and 10 I believe, while they were held down and screaming bloody murder. I really really really recommend everyone see this documentary. It is one that really touches you and makes you feel sick to your stomach all at once.
5 Reviews
Unforgettable journey into the women's world of circumcision
r-houtepen31 March 2003
The English documentary film maker Kim Longinotto displays a unique talent to draw us into a seemingly exotic aspect of women's experiences somewhere on the globe and then make us recognise, sympathise, wonder, abhor and doubt, often at the same time and about the same characters. More particularly, she succeeds in activating our empathy with the plight of 'oppressed' women without simply denouncing the 'oppressors'. Although 'Divorce Iranian Style' portrayed the male judge of an Iranian divorce court in a very patriarchic system, it never failed to make us see all participants in the process as people striving to make the best out of a bad situation. In 'Gaea Girls' she showed us Japanese girls training their butts off to get a shot at becoming a pro wrestler: it inspired admiration for their intense dedication and pity for the endless litany of failure and humiliation that most of them had to endure. In 'Runaway', about the only place in Iran offering shelter to girls and young women who have run away from home, you empathise totally with the desparation of the girls. But you also gradually develop an understanding that some of them would have given their family a hard time under any circumstances. Now in 'The Day I will never forget' Longinotto depicts what is experienced by many as the ultimate crime against women: genital mutilation of girls in order to prevent them from taking an interest in sexual intercourse with other men than their own(er). In several forms, this is a habit among millions of people in (North) East Africa, mainly but not exclusively among Muslims. By diligent field work in Kenya, building up contacts among women of several ethnic and religious groups, Longinotto has managed to take us into the heart of this practice. This does not refer primarily to seeing circumcision on screen (we very nearly do), but to the way that both circumcision and the protests against it are shown to be interwoven with local culture. As in all Longinotto's work, we really feel we intimately get to know both the persons involved and their motives. The girls appear to be ambivalent: they want to become 'real' and 'clean' women as truly as their mothers, older sisters and (tribal and religious) girl friends, but they don't really understand why this should involve such a frightful procedure. Parents may often be doubtful themselves, opting for milder forms than in earlier generations. Only the practitioners we get to know (older women)and some of the parents, women as good as men, do not display any doubt.
But there's a good chance, of course, that Longinotto and her camera were not invited into the hard core world of circumcision, only in families and groups who are aware of the controversial nature of the procedure. An indication for this latter fact is that all defenders explicitly use concepts such as 'tradition' and 'culture'. I guess that where tradition and culture still go unchallenged, there is no need to use such abstract concepts. The 'oppressors' are aware that their actions are not self-evident or even highly controversial and more or less helplessly declare that one ought to preserve some anchor in a rapidly changing world. A brilliant Longinotto touch is the hesitant, ambivalent and/or negotiating key character. The first part of the film follows a nurse who confronts parents, husbands and practitioners with arguments concerning the risks and harm of the procedure and against the religious foundation of the practice. But she is also a practical woman, realising that in order to remain on speaking terms with the families and to do some good for the girls involved, she had better not state her case too vehemently. She's always smiling and understanding and offers advice on performing circumcision and undoing the stitching in the most moderate and safe ways. This kind of stuff reminds us of the good willing judge in the divorce film, the female trainer with a heart in Japan and the staff in the Teheran shelter for girls. Through these characters, Longinotto makes it impossible for us to feel ourselves the superior spectators. 'The Day I will never forget' is not about being against female circumcision (it is), but about making a difference for real people in difficult circumstances. It's great art that inspires great compassion.
But there's a good chance, of course, that Longinotto and her camera were not invited into the hard core world of circumcision, only in families and groups who are aware of the controversial nature of the procedure. An indication for this latter fact is that all defenders explicitly use concepts such as 'tradition' and 'culture'. I guess that where tradition and culture still go unchallenged, there is no need to use such abstract concepts. The 'oppressors' are aware that their actions are not self-evident or even highly controversial and more or less helplessly declare that one ought to preserve some anchor in a rapidly changing world. A brilliant Longinotto touch is the hesitant, ambivalent and/or negotiating key character. The first part of the film follows a nurse who confronts parents, husbands and practitioners with arguments concerning the risks and harm of the procedure and against the religious foundation of the practice. But she is also a practical woman, realising that in order to remain on speaking terms with the families and to do some good for the girls involved, she had better not state her case too vehemently. She's always smiling and understanding and offers advice on performing circumcision and undoing the stitching in the most moderate and safe ways. This kind of stuff reminds us of the good willing judge in the divorce film, the female trainer with a heart in Japan and the staff in the Teheran shelter for girls. Through these characters, Longinotto makes it impossible for us to feel ourselves the superior spectators. 'The Day I will never forget' is not about being against female circumcision (it is), but about making a difference for real people in difficult circumstances. It's great art that inspires great compassion.
Around the time that this enlightening documentary was released . . .
tadpole-596-91825613 November 2020
Warning: Spoilers
. . . wanton wenches such as Madonna and Princess Di were rampaging across the English countryside, wreaking havoc with their chaotic disruptions of the long-established Social Order. With these barely-clothed nihilists running amok corrupting the young men of Great Britain, the director of THE DAY I WILL NEVER FORGET sought a cure for the Horror of Hussy Harlots in the Old Country. Her film highlights a spokesman for New Wave Human Biology, who succinctly explains the why's and wherefore's concerning people's anatomical differences down there, and how the Almighty has offered us a blueprint to render the pink parts safe for civilized life. Thanks to this movie, Somali missionaries have been fanning out across England to teach villagers and city residents alike the Old Ways to keep Evil salacious urges in check. Somali Society always has been protected by their Coming of Age Rituals; there's never been a scandalous Somali counterpart to Madonna or Princess Di. During the past two decades, stalwart Somali proselytes have established beachheads for decency in U.S. cities such as Detroit and Minneapolis, teaching local females of all ages how to clean up their act and become pure enough to mingle in polite society.
A Movie I will never forget!!
Tellebears27 July 2006
I had the pleasure of seeing this movie at the Sundance Film Festive in Salt Lake City a couple of years ago. I can not stop thinking about this movie. It was SOOO powerful and really makes you think. I want to thank everyone involved in this film, it has changed my life. When ever the topic of movies comes up I automatically tell people about this. One thing that it really brought up for me (which I 'm sure was not the reason for this movie), was genitalia mutation in general. This is the norm for these people and here in the USA male circumcision is the norm ( although studies show that trend is changing). If we were to make a documentation about how we circumcise our little boys and showed it to a civilization that does not would they be just as outraged??
Disturbing
gbill-7487717 July 2021
This documentary on female genital mutilation (FGM) as practiced on young girls in Kenya is, not surprisingly, incredibly difficult to watch at times. The level of access that Director Kim Longinotto achieved was high, and be forewarned, include some footage of the procedure itself, performed on two consecutive girls (roughly age 8) on a kitchen floor by a midwife of sorts and a couple of other women holding them down. As they scream "I don't want it" again and again and shriek in pain, the midwife flashes a smile at the camera, one I couldn't help seeing as pure evil.
It's dangerous to look at the customs of another culture and condemn them, but it was impossible for me not to do that here. There are several who are given a chance to articulate an explanation for the practice, for example, that it stops girls from sleeping around, that it's aesthetically important, and that it will prevent the husband from using a knife and doing it himself in a brutal way on her wedding night, but most of all, what we hear is that it's "tradition." It's unfortunate to hear that from various women in the community and the mothers of these girls, blind to seeing it as a form of male domination, and a barbaric and dangerous one at that.
As a documentary, there are some issues in explaining the different groups of people that we see, and their cultures or religions. The 'fly on the wall' approach that Longinotto takes has its advantages, but at times is a drawback in not allowing more information in the form of a narrative. I would have also liked to have seen interviews with those in power (politically or culturally) speak to it, because while women are shown enforcing it, it clearly stems from a heavily patriarchal culture. We get a glimpse of this from a man about to marry who idiotically denies a doctor from surgically enlarging his bride-to-be's vagina (after her childhood clitorectomy it was stitched too heavily) because he would be laughed at by his friends, saying he will do the job via penetration on their wedding night instead, despite the risks to her. We also see it in a man preaching in the streets the need for these traditional practices, both on girls and boys, using a rationale that defies all logic. It needed more of this.
While the documentary sounds incredibly dark which may put people off (and I suppose I didn't help matters with that first paragraph), over its second half it shows a girl who leaves her family and village in order to go to a school with others who've escaped. With the help of some very kind adults, they take their parents to court, as per new legislation in the country they can get an injunction against them. The film was made in 2002, and nine years later the Kenyan government made the practice illegal.
I wish I could know what happened to some of these girls, and where they are now. Here is a poem that one of them named Fouzia wrote and recited in the film, one of its most powerful moments:
The Day I Will Never Forget
It was on a Sunday night when my mom called me And she said, "My daughter, come," in a low voice.
I went quietly.
Suddenly, my mom said, "My daughter, tomorrow is your D-day." I was shocked to hear that, but I was not expected to say anything.
In the morning, I was dragged and pinned on the ground When three women sat and crucified me on the floor.
I cried till I had no voice.
The only thing I said was, "Mom, where are you?" And the only answer I got was "Quiet, quiet, girl!" The pain I had experienced was one I will never forget for the rest of my life, and I will not wish the same to happen to my friends.
That night, I had a sleepless night.
I could see an old lady with many blades doing it again and again and again.
I screamed, and my mom came running to check on me.
My loving parent, is this what I really deserved?
I am asking all of you, is this what I really deserve?
It's dangerous to look at the customs of another culture and condemn them, but it was impossible for me not to do that here. There are several who are given a chance to articulate an explanation for the practice, for example, that it stops girls from sleeping around, that it's aesthetically important, and that it will prevent the husband from using a knife and doing it himself in a brutal way on her wedding night, but most of all, what we hear is that it's "tradition." It's unfortunate to hear that from various women in the community and the mothers of these girls, blind to seeing it as a form of male domination, and a barbaric and dangerous one at that.
As a documentary, there are some issues in explaining the different groups of people that we see, and their cultures or religions. The 'fly on the wall' approach that Longinotto takes has its advantages, but at times is a drawback in not allowing more information in the form of a narrative. I would have also liked to have seen interviews with those in power (politically or culturally) speak to it, because while women are shown enforcing it, it clearly stems from a heavily patriarchal culture. We get a glimpse of this from a man about to marry who idiotically denies a doctor from surgically enlarging his bride-to-be's vagina (after her childhood clitorectomy it was stitched too heavily) because he would be laughed at by his friends, saying he will do the job via penetration on their wedding night instead, despite the risks to her. We also see it in a man preaching in the streets the need for these traditional practices, both on girls and boys, using a rationale that defies all logic. It needed more of this.
While the documentary sounds incredibly dark which may put people off (and I suppose I didn't help matters with that first paragraph), over its second half it shows a girl who leaves her family and village in order to go to a school with others who've escaped. With the help of some very kind adults, they take their parents to court, as per new legislation in the country they can get an injunction against them. The film was made in 2002, and nine years later the Kenyan government made the practice illegal.
I wish I could know what happened to some of these girls, and where they are now. Here is a poem that one of them named Fouzia wrote and recited in the film, one of its most powerful moments:
The Day I Will Never Forget
It was on a Sunday night when my mom called me And she said, "My daughter, come," in a low voice.
I went quietly.
Suddenly, my mom said, "My daughter, tomorrow is your D-day." I was shocked to hear that, but I was not expected to say anything.
In the morning, I was dragged and pinned on the ground When three women sat and crucified me on the floor.
I cried till I had no voice.
The only thing I said was, "Mom, where are you?" And the only answer I got was "Quiet, quiet, girl!" The pain I had experienced was one I will never forget for the rest of my life, and I will not wish the same to happen to my friends.
That night, I had a sleepless night.
I could see an old lady with many blades doing it again and again and again.
I screamed, and my mom came running to check on me.
My loving parent, is this what I really deserved?
I am asking all of you, is this what I really deserve?
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