This Thing of Ours (2002) Poster

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6/10
Not great but certainly good
rlange-323 October 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I don't know where the negativity in comments is coming from. I don't remember a movie in which young, tech hip criminals are integrated with old line mobsters as a plot. The conflicts and tension resulting from this clash are numerous and nicely developed right up to the closing scene.

********* Spoiler Alert *********** The sit down meeting at which the deal is presented is terrific. Here a billion dollar computer heist is being presented and one of the old guys starts talking about his kid playing video games. Other major conflicts emerge as the "loose ends" are tied up later, and the final scene is terrific as well. All part of the clash in style and values.

The weakest part of the movie is the FBI. The characters are way too stereotyped, not well acted, and poorly developed.

This film a 1?? Everybody has their own tastes and preferences, but that sounds like somebody has an axe to grind.
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5/10
Horrible direction
ALopez34417 October 2019
Pretty good talented cast members from many mob movies who seemed to walk through the script. Bad filming and horrible choice of music.
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4/10
Not as good as I hoped it would be....
Richpile23-120 July 2006
Honestly, this movie left me scratching my head. I really looked forward to it when I saw it at Hollywood Video, but when I finally got it last night and sat down to watch it...I was disappointed. Halfway through the movie I said "I hope this is going somewhere" and, it really didn't. I appreciate that people took a lot of time and money to make this, and people may like it...but I am in the group that didn't like it.

Please keep posting so we can understand why people liked it, because I'd like to see everyone's thoughts.

I thought the familiar names and faces made the movie better, but it still couldn't pull this into the "positive rating" place for me.
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Mediocre modern mafia, about a cyber-heist, starring many established mob movie faces
fuzzface-318 April 2008
Nice to see the mob genre still alive, this piece of material represents the mid echelon (quality wise) of the "lesser known mob movies".

Filled with typical mob movie actors such as Frank Vincent, and Vincent Pastore, complemented by James Caan, the movie starts of in a typical mob conversation around the table, which is well acted, filmed and directed. The ad lib acting makes it work. The story line is somewhat bold, yet true to facts, since the mafia is now known to operate through cyberspace, but the extend of this heist they're planning make it unrealistic for me. The overall acting has its ups and downs, several ad lib conversations are hilarious in character, and certainly reminiscent of the famous "what do you mean I'm funny" bit by Joe Pesci in Goodfellas", and other scenes and characters are severely overdone, or all out amateuristic and bad. All in all I had a fine time watching this movie, it's certainly worth at least one viewing, since it's certainly NOT the worst mafia movie out there.

Not a must have DVD, but for completionists, such as me.
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2/10
Worst mafia movie ever made
hast-229 September 2006
This film is a joke. Apparently stuffing a bunch of well dressed Italians around a dinner table and having them tell anecdotes and curse a lot was someone's idea of a good mafia movie. All this movie consists of is random arguments, occasional unrealistic violence, laughable acting, and a numbing level of foul talk. "This thing of ours" plays into every possible Italian mafia stereotype, and blatantly attempts to rip off good gangster films like "Goodfellas" and "The Godfather". I would rather watch "Pink Flamingos" again, than watch this failure again. Do not waste your time, life is too short, and this film is simply too bad.
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1/10
Terrible
sillyboy_200227 April 2008
This Mafia was the worst that I have seen so far. I am disappointed because there were some great character actors, who should have done a better job. The lead/director was terrible. Not only was he a bad actor, but there was no character development to even vaguely have the viewer symphatize with any of the major or minor characters. If this was a parody of Mafia films, I would understand why the film sucked. Get a day job, and don't do anymore Indi films. What I don't understand is why Frank Vicente and the other bigger names decided to sully their repuations by taking part in this film. And, I don't understand the terrible anecdotes that were parlayed during the various meal scenes. It was horrific. I kept hoping that "Tony Soprano" or Ray Liotto or any other character from Goodfellas or Casino appeared in the film. It was painful to watch. Thank God for fast forwarding.
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1/10
Waste of Talent
gelashe2 August 2006
Like the Kinks song "I'm on a low budget", you have to wonder what our stereotype talented mob actors were thinking when they consented to pool their combined efforts together to make this film.

We have almost every mob actor who, if you pay attention to the script (without your eyes glazing over), replay many parts/lines from their mob movies.

The plot is thin if not threadbare.

I'm not sure why some of the other posters thought this was even an acceptable film. Trying to watch the entire thing, was painful.

As DeNiro told his son in a Bronx Tale, "the saddest thing in life, is wasted talent" - that appears to be the motto of this movie.
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6/10
starsI THINK WE NEED A BIGGER GUN
nogodnomasters23 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Old time mobsters, who can't spell M-O-B, are brought into the 21st century by Nicky (Danny Provenzano) who wants to skim money out of bank accounts to make a billion or more dollars. The scheme involves off shore accounts, Cuba, Castro, and a host of people we never see. Much of the film is consumed with tough guy talk while sitting around a table. There were many bad plot points. For instance the FBI gets a warrant for arrests, but can't arrest the guys because they are in Miami. Seriously? The mob is shown to be ignorant, as was the FBI. Their interrogation scene was lame. James Caan was wheeled in for a cameo. And BTW, $50 million in $100 dollar bills weighs 1100 pounds. It doesn't get carried around in a briefcase.

The film is stereo-typically entertaining, except the fat Italian is named Wally and not Tony, however there were two guys named Anthony in the film. If you have seen a mafia film, you know what to expect. Easy on the torture. This film is currently available on a Walmart action 10 pack.

Parental Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.
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3/10
The low budget isn't the only thing that is low...
ssannelli26 July 2006
I saw Caan, Pastore and Vincent...and the trailer...and I thought, hey why not give it a chance? So I ordered it on DVD from the US.

I saw it last night, and man what a big disappointment...OK, I know it's a low budget movie - but it's just terrible. I've seen other low budget movies on the mob that are far better. (give "Witness to the Mob" a chance)

This movie tries to ripoff of the BIG greater mafia movies like Goodfellas, Donnie Brasco etc. without getting close... Some scenes are just so "embarrassing" that you don't know if you should laugh or cry. over 5 on IMDb? G's...this movie dosen't deserve anything better then a 3.

Don't buy it, don't rent it...just Forgetaboutit!

//S
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7/10
Enjoyable movie
austinde20 August 2018
I notice much criticism from viewers but I found the movie a good movie and an up to date mafia version and not the old wiseguys of the past. ok so some of the film reminded me of other mafia movies such as nicki santini almost copying Joe pesci in the Goodfellas.it was funny and well done.The music in the movie I thought was very good and gave atmosphere to the more sinister parts.Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and have watched it a few times.I notice Edward Lynch who played Johnny Irish was credited with being the singer in one of the numbers.Would it be the same person? Judging by the reviews and comments I must be easily pleased to say I liked this movie.
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1/10
Maybe if it's billed as satire
m-horner19675 December 2018
This is hands down, the most absurd mafia movie ever made. Unless, it's a comedy then is just plain awful. Its like if Ed Wood did an episode of the Sopranos. I'm sure the successful actors were truly embarrassed that they participated in this farce. It's not worth watching more than 15 minutes of this garbage film with outlandish Mafia/ Italian American stereotypes. Please do yourself a favor and pass on this thing.
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8/10
If Spike Lee had been born Italian, in a New Jersey crime family
povimage25 May 2009
Warning: Spoilers
If Spike Lee had been born Italian, in a New Jersey family, his first film would have been "This Thing of Ours." Of course, it goes without saying that Spike probably wouldn't have survived producing such an effort while also dealing with a 40+ count Federal Indictment. I've seen a bit written by armchair pundits who simply don't understand film, but want to take shots at "This Thing of Ours." In all the supposed "critiques" they offer there isn't a grain of true intellectualism, much less informed opinion.

Film and literature are limited to describing a few key life conflicts. In Danny Provenzano's film "This Thing of Ours", the conflict begins as a typical story of man vs. man. But, instead, as it progresses, as the character development proceeds, we see that the film is actually a more moral driven story of a series of man vs. himself conflicts. The final conflict faced by Danny Provenzano in the lead role, is the most piquant of those internal conflicts. It is also a moral tale, lamenting that any of us may lose what we most value, the love of friends and family, in the pursuit of goals we have already committed ourselves to. Loyalty and this love are critical driving forces for Provenzano's tale.

A secondary theme of what happens to, or is deserved by those who betray their friends, consistently recurs throughout the film. One might think that Danny himself crosses that line in the anti-climax, where as a 'made man' he is forced to choose between love of friends, and his own future. But life doesn't give one the chance to go back and rewrite its script so that Danny's character can avoid such a choice. Life is real, ugly, and often brutal. The ethical choices we each make to survive define us, but just as certainly, they separate us from lower life forms like rats.

To begin with a more formal academic critique, "This Thing of Ours" combines elements of both cinema verité and film noir. One gets a feel that one has been dropped into the reality of a NJ crime family, but unlike The Sopranos, time is not expended on "explaining" the incipient milieu to the viewer. Instead, like a Spike Lee film, one either : understands the milieu, embraces it, and immerses themselves within it, or they simply don't get the film.

Some have been extremely petulant about the tendency of the film to move back and forth between broad general action and specific individualist elements. But serious students of film will notice the skilled use of a Diltheyistic approach, one that depends upon Dilthey's "Hermeneutic Circle." In other words, the movement takes the viewer back and forth between the implicit and explicit, as well as between the particular and the whole. Only through weaving across both, can a viewer suddenly immersed in a new and unfamiliar environment begin to develop a Weltanschauung (or World View) appropriate to the new setting. "This Thing of Ours" succeeds in giving attentive and/or critical viewers that opportunity. But, this choice is inherently risky. Just as many viewers simply "didn't get" Spike Lee's early efforts, many, including many who should get "This Thing of Ours," simply complain about the film. Sadly, they are displaying their own lack of experience and comprehension for the medium of film they seek to critique.

Yes, the portrayal of the FBI as wholly and completely inept is a bit absurd, and perhaps the film's weakest element. But the human tendency is to dehumanize and marginalize one's foes. Not coincidentally, with Provenzano during filming, underneath FBI driven investigation and indictments, it is not in the least bit surprising that he would use film to lampoon them. Need I remind anyone that while the Bush White House portrayed Saddam Hussein's Iraq as completely incompetent, they also claimed Iraq had highly advanced nuclear and chemical weapons programs in operation? One isn't about to make one's mortal enemies look attractive or competent. In the anti-hero tale, that is "This Thing of Ours" the bumbling FBI is an appropriate foil; as much so as were the bumbling agents of the church faced by the Three Musketeers. Finally, something needs to be said about the skillful use of cinematography in creating the proper atmosphere and feel for the recounting of Provenzano's tale. While there were no iconic Citizen Kane moments, there is a darkness, and reality-inspired Kubrick-like seediness throughout. Beneath all the glamour and glitz, the decay and moral rot is always apparent. When one directs themselves, as Orson Welles did in "Citizen Kane" some kudos should go to the director of photography, in this instance George Mitas, as they bear a greater portion of the creative role than in many other projects. Mitas' choice of shots and on-screen viewpoint, places us where we need to be: wholly within the world of this film.

In conclusion, one will get "This Thing of Ours" if they have the intellect to expend on entering Danny Provenzano's cinematic world. Spike Lee's earliest efforts were panned by many on the very same grounds I've heard "This Thing of Ours" critiqued. Mr Provenzano should be nothing but flattered by such criticism.
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6/10
Watchable and Somewhat Entertaining
kaljic21 February 2021
Yes, this is a tepid title. For a mafia movie this is indeed watchable and entertaining but a Lawrence of Arabia it is not. The fault lies not so much on the movie makers but with the subject matter. Very generally, this is a movie that concerns a group of young mobsters pitching an idea to embezzle money from banks to their previous generation of thugs, the generation of their fathers so to say. It is easy to display compelling drama with a clash of generations, but it is very difficult to present compelling drama centered around a person typing behind a computer. White collar crime is by its nature very surreptitious, and unless it is accomplished in a very deft manner is completely lost on the viewer. The filmmakers do the best they can in this situation, but it somehow comes off as lacking. This is where the goodfellas factor come in. The supporting cast feature well-known character actors of this genre from big screen to television. With a stronger script that next level of story could have pulled the narrative through. Sadly, much of this story line is generic and stereotypical. Hearing the dialogue I sometimes thought to myself, "Do they really talk like that today?"

What saves the movie is the rough production values of the shoot. The uneven shoot of the movie gives it an edge, which, for the life of me, I don't know was intentional or not. Still, the entertainment value is there, and it is always a treat to see James Caan in action, even for a little bit. This is recommended viewing if not for the fact that the movie is an attempt at what mobster movies will be concerned with more and more in the future.
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2/10
Very funny!!!!
psecu116 March 2008
My girlfriend and I laughed heartily throughout the movie, however this is not supposed to be a comedy.

If you want a movie to watch and laugh at its terribleness, then this is it. While there are some good actors here, they seem like they are improvising all their scenes. Like its all some type of goof to them.

The no-name actors are the true comedic gems here. Particularly bad is the FBI lead agent. His acting was so bad it made me want to crawl into a hole.

If you want to see a truly terrible movie, see this. If you bring your sense of humor, you just may enjoy yourself.
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1/10
trash
pop245610 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
please spare me this was straight garbage did anyone listen to the soundtrack or notice bullet holes before the gun sounds only a straight groupie male or female could enjoy this crap i rather have my wife nagging at me all day then watch this again and the acting other than the familiar faces the rest of the cast was horrible did they just grab these guys form the street of Brooklyn Howard beach Pelham bay in DA Bronx or something don't waste your time watching this the 2 hours will be wasted and you cant get time back better off running errands or something than watching this fake mob movie that only mob wanna be's would appreciate
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1/10
Bad Movie Fans: You have a gem. Worth watching for the Worst Movie Scene Ever.
NickGepetto3 September 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This was really a bad movie. It looks like it was filmed using a Best Buy camcorder and lighting from Rent-All®. The "director" also starred in the movie. Some a**-hat (*=s) named Danny Provenzano. Never seen him and never want to again. He doesn't look Italian at all and has this strange, crooked face with huge flaring nostrils. Truly unsettling to look at. His acting is another story. It's just one cliché after another. He tries to act New York Italian but comes off like St. Paul, MN actor at the Eau De Claire Wisconsin Community Theatre trying his best to pull off Sonny from The Godfather. He's most likely making ends meet by giving those acting classes to the special needs kids (and I respect him from that) but he really shouldn't be staring in his own movie.

Now for that scene I mentioned in the title of my review. This one scene is enough for you "Awful Movie Fans" to perk up and head straight to Amazon or what ever dark hole of a rental store you can find this turd:

The scene happens at a Chinese restaurant. Four members of a crew led by Eau De Claire Community Theatre's favorite son Danny Provenzano (Character name: Nicky) are sitting around the table. "It's time to try those improvisation chops!" thinks Danny. So for no reason, his character starts telling a rediculous nonsensical story about a "6 foot 8 inch" man he and the mobster to his right had to kill. It's clearly improvised as seen on the faces of the other "Goombahs" around the table as Danny is talking. Danny finishes the first part of his just made-up story and looks to another actor to jump in adding to this improvised story. And oh he does - adding his own brand of improvisation. Now it's back to Eau De Claire Danny talking. He directly contradicts what he said earlier (it's HIS story!) and also mixes up the improvised part laid out by the other actor. This goes on for so so so long and it is so bad on so many levels. If anyone other than Eau De Claire Danny had directed the movie, it would have been left on the cutting room floor in its entirety. But there it is --- for all you lucky viewers to see. And see you must. So how bad is this movie? Think: Graveyard scene in Plan 9 and you'll get the idea!
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1/10
awful
sabatini-0482919 November 2019
The absolute worst mafia movie ever. The writing the acting the cinematography everything is awful. But it had alot of Sopranos cast.
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No Connections !
elshikh414 February 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I know well this low-budget, badly-made, crazily violent V nonsense that you meet in video stores, so dusty on a deserted shelf, or find on TV always late at night, without many ads during it. Thank God, this time it wasn't that nonsense, and surprisingly it got a meaning as well.

Between 1990 and 2000, Hollywood mob movies used to be nothing but Martin Scorsese' historical pieces like (Goodfellas - 1990) and (Casino - 1995), the shoot'm up twisted fares like (Snatch - 2000), and the spoofs (Jane Austen's Mafia! - 1998). Now, (This Thing of Ours) is just a humble movie that doesn't have the true stories, the stars, or the great factors, yet it's surely still watchable.

It's a nice time. I liked the structure of this script, it's solid. The idea of the heist was truly wild. The soundtrack was primitive yet a bit interesting. Although most of the cast are the minor actors of Scorsese' movies, but Oh My God they did so well, especially Frank Vincent who fitted in his role finely as the boss. Some of the rest did BAD. And of course I'm talking about guys like the one who played the role of the police officer, now what a criminal! This guy looked like someone who escaped from the audience after torturing them in his high school's play (and it's better for you pal to continue running!). While Christian Maelen was the one who looked charismatic the most, the 3 leads weren't the best actors altogether, delivering deadly usual work. However, I can't blame them fully, since it's not about acting in the first place. The whole deal is about the heist, and its consequences, not about the deep characters or something of this sort!

Some points bothered me. I mean what was the need to see that haughty businessman got beaten in his office for money that he didn't pay?! I think we all know, even from other movies, that these guys aren't joking about being rough, so it's not a thing to design a couple of scenes just to assure it!

Plus, there was no style at all. And I'm not talking about being highly arty, but the axiomatic things. The artistic personality of the movie is so poor. The camera-work got all the time an easy way to do all the matters, without making a fine suspense or leading certain feeling. I felt usual, sometimes low, TV all over it. Simply it got nothing to embody anything.

While the dialogue was nice and natural, I just felt something wrong with the way most of the characters were shown. Do these Italian-American still look like this? Because if Scorsese is right, then these people are still talking and dealing exactly the same since the 1970s! In a word, the stereotypes were just PURE and MANY!

.. And that's why James Caan got to be this old-fashioned, board, paralyzed godfather. He maybe knew that there was nothing that new. So he got to be at least special. In fact, the presence of Caan is the only coup de maitre that this movie achieves, not only for winning his name on the poster, and maybe selling the whole movie due to it, but also for the way his persona was used; since Sonny Corleone himself became, in this movie's world, that helpless non-respected old news.

The last scene was an epitome of this movie's real condition. It's meaningful, but without very much depths. It's dramatically interesting, but with so modest TV-ish carrying out. And its acting was between good and half good! Well, this is exactly the mistake that this movie does; putting a bit promising stuff in so clumsy hands. The crisis of that lead could have been something more attractive whereas he would live without friends anymore, or even allies if he got out. But sure this is something to watch in any other movie but this!

It was about a successful heist, then beating the police, the enemies, and the moral choice itself. I loved that it got a meaning anyway about doing the perfidy to be trusted, where family and friends - in the new mafia's, rather the new age's, laws - aren't needed as the money, or with the money, namely the movie's rule of "no connections". But I believe that the true no-connections that this movie had was between its story and any artistic embodiment whatsoever. So clearly "this thing of them" needed a lot to be more sophisticated and glossy.
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7/10
I mean, okay?
micahbboswell2723 February 2022
My love for Mobster/Gangster movies combined with some of the casting kept me involved but overall, this film is just okay. It's not bad enough to be "so bad it's good" but just mediocre enough to not be horrible. The cinematography had a very "B" feel to it, which I didn't hate. The dialogue, however, was very rough. Regardless, I thought it was decent.
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5/10
Not Bad, But Not Good
isantistao3 February 2020
This is a Mafia B Movie that is neither bad nor good. Completely middle of the road. It looks like a B movie and sounds like a B movie. There's nothing impressive or good about it, except that it has a lot of great mob movie character actors in it that you may want to see. The writing isn't spectacular, but it passes, except for the jokes which are stupid. There's some wackings in it that are well done enough. But there's really no reason to watch it unless you have nothing to watch and really love these actors, and like to try to watch every mafia movie out there. I watched it while I was doing a stretching and work out routine, but I wouldn't have just sat and watched it on its own. But I don't regret watching it. Thats all I can say about it.
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7/10
One of my favorite bad movies
enjoyermonkey16 August 2023
I originally found this movie on a 10 feature DVD from the $3 movie bin at Walmart if that's any hint as to the quality of this movie

Imagine a generic mob movie but it's the early 2000s so they are "hacking the mainframe" talking about algorithms and encryption and other computery things. Every character is basically personified spaghetti. There's a lot of absolutely diabolical Italian accents. Randomly they'll just throw in the most horrendous "pop" music when it's not just background mandolin. I'd say probably a 3rd of the movie has nothing to do with the story. They just throw in random anecdotes from random characters that go on for so long and yet have no purpose in moving the story along. And, they have what I believe to be a requirement of any good movie, at least one himbo.

I knocked off a few points because at certain point it can get pretty tedious.
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8/10
21st century brilliance
schools_out-223 September 2007
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is a great Mob film. Most people say "No this movie is horrible, its not original" but that is why it is 21st century brilliance. Old school mobsters being persuaded to make billions of dollars in just 3 weeks by up-and-comers, its pretty good to me. And near the end when they kill-off all connections, thats original gangster action. Don't get me wrong it's great but not the greatest, it's different and that is what makes it great. I deeply recommend watching the movie. The actors in this movie are classic guys like some from the critically acclaimed HBO series "The Sopranos". The title "This Thing of Ours" is used throughout the movie to to prove my point. The old-school guys wonder what happened to "this thing of ours" and the new guys want to bring "this thing of ours" to the 21st century. This Thing of Ours is also the term used to describe the Mafia (the literal translation of Cosa Nostra.
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3/10
unfortunate result of an pottentially good release
Purgatory3141 December 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is total trash and was directed by a criminal who's is currently serving time as I write this. The idea of the plot, at root, is brilliant and had potential before this fraud of a director and "writer" totally slaughtered their attempt at what could have become a decent movie if fallen into the hands of someone who knows what they are doing. I learned from a credible source that this was a stolen story line.

For the large majority, the acting was great, but the casting was overly ambitious, and quite a few parts were out of their appropriate places. This was a failed attempt for the release of a movie that deserved a better sceenplay, casting, and director. From what I personally noticed, it is obvious that the director is someone who's morale is extremely corrupted, distorted, and detached from any integral character, as one can determine from the ending of the movie. I recommend refraining from financially supporting the revenue of this movie by watching it, as the money will be going into the hands of someone who will use it to commit or support heinous crimes. How unfortunate.
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some new and some familiar faces - tell the story of "This Thing Of Ours"
NATIONALTALENT30 July 2003
gzzzzzzz......i note a bit of hostility! alot of time and effort went into this film which should be appreciated in this industry. There is also an abundance of talented people associated with this film. In addition alot of no name talents were given an opportunity to shine and shine they did! Pls. be patient as this sight is being updated for all who took part to be given proper credit.
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