Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) Poster

Jim Carrey: Joel Barish

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Quotes 

  • Clementine Kruczynski : This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.

    Joel Barish : I know.

    Clementine Kruczynski : What do we do?

    Joel Barish : Enjoy it.

  • Joel : [narration as Clementine acknowledges him by raising her coffee mug]  Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?

  • Joel : [in the house on the beach]  I have to go. I have to catch my ride.

    Clementine : So go!

    Joel : I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.

    Clementine : I wish you had stayed.

    Joel : I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.

    Clementine : Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!

    Joel : I walked out, I walked out the door!

    Clementine : Why?

    Joel : I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.

    Clementine : You were scared?

    Joel : Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.

    Clementine : Was it something I said?

    Joel : Yeah... you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?

    Clementine : Oh, I'm sorry.

    Joel : It's okay.

    [Walking Out] 

    Clementine : Joely? What if you stayed this time?

    Joel : I walked out the door. There's no memory left.

    Clementine : Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.

    [Joel comes back. Clementine walks down the stairs towards him] 

    Clementine : Bye Joel.

    Joel : I love you.

    Clementine : Meet me... in Montauk...

  • Joel : What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger.

  • Joel : Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks.

  • Joel : I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.

  • Clementine : Joely?

    Joel : Yeah Tangerine?

    Clementine : Am I ugly?

    Joel : Uh-uh.

    Clementine : When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too.

    Joel : [kisses Clementine]  You're pretty.

    Clementine : Joely, don't ever leave me.

    Joel : You're pretty... you're pretty... pretty...

  • [last lines] 

    Joel Barish : I can't see anything that I don't like about you.

    Clementine Kruczynski : But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.

    Joel Barish : Okay.

    Clementine Kruczynski : [pauses]  Okay.

  • [first lines] 

    Joel : [voice over]  random thoughts for Valentine's day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.

  • Joel : I had a really nice time last night.

    Clementine : Nice?

    Joel : I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life, last night!

    Clementine : Thaaaat's better!

  • Joel : Hi.

    Clementine : Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.

    Joel : I just needed to see you.

    Clementine : Yeah?

    Joel : I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.

    Clementine : You're married.

    Joel : Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.

    Clementine : Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.

    Joel : Okay.

    Clementine : Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.

    Joel : I remember that speech really well.

    Clementine : I had you pegged, didn't I?

    Joel : You had the whole human race pegged.

    Clementine : Hmm. Probably.

    Joel : I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.

    Clementine : Ohhh... I know.

    Joel : It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.

    Clementine : Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.

  • Clementine : I'm Clementine. Can I... borrow a piece of your chicken?

    Joel : And then you just took it... without waiting for an answer. It was so intimate; like we were already lovers.

  • Clementine : I wish you'd stayed.

    Joel : I wish I'd stayed, too. NOW I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. I wish I'd... I wish I'd stayed... I do.

  • [Joel calls Clem on the telephone] 

    Clementine : What took you so long?

    Joel : I just walked in.

    Clementine : Do you miss me?

    Joel : Oddly enough, I do!

    Clementine : You said "I do" - I guess that means we're married!

    Joel : I guess so!

  • Joel : I can't remember anything without you.

    Clementine : Aw, that's... very sweet, but try.

  • Joel Barish : I can't see anything I don't like about you.

    Clementine : But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.

    Joel Barish : Okay.

    Clementine : Okay.

  • Joel : Mierzwiak! Please let me keep this memory, just this one.

  • Clementine : You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything... every damn embarrassing thing. You don't trust me.

    Joel : Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

    Clementine : I don't do that. I want to know you.

    [angry] 

    Clementine : I don't constantly talk! Jesus! People have to share things, Joel...

    Joel : Mmmhhmmm...

    Clementine : That's what intimacy is. I'm really pissed that you said that to me!

    Joel : I'm sorry... I just, my life isn't that interesting.

    Clementine : I want to read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or... love?

  • [as Joel and Clementine eat out, he thinks about the other glum-looking couples in the restaurant] 

    Joel : Are we like those bored couples you feel sorry for in restaurants? Are we the dining dead? I can't stand the idea of us being a couple people think that about.

  • Joel : If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know.

  • Clementine : Face it, Joely, you're freaked out because I was out late without you - and in your little wormy brain you're trying to figure out: did she fuck someone tonight?

    Joel : No, see Clem. I assume you fucked someone tonight. Isn't that how you get people to like you?

  • Joel : [on tape recording]  And the whole thing with the hair - it's all bullshit.

    Joel : I really like your hair.

    Clementine : Thank you.

  • Joel Barish : Is there any risk of brain damage?

    Dr. Mierzwiak : Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but it's on a par with a night of heavy drinking, nothing you'll miss.

  • Joel : Look at it out here, it's all falling apart. I'm erasing you and I'm happy!

  • Clementine Kruczynski : You know me. I'm impulsive.

    Joel Barish : That's what I love about you.

  • Clementine : You're not a stalker, or anything, right?

    Joel : I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?

    Clementine : That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.

    Joel : Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.

  • Clementine Kruczynski : I apply my personality into paste.

    Joel Barish : Oh, I doubt that very much.

    Clementine Kruczynski : Well, you don't know me, so... you don't know, do you?

    Joel Barish : Sorry, I was... just trying to be nice.

    Clementine Kruczynski : Yeah... I got it...

    [She hides behind the seat for a minute] 

    Clementine Kruczynski : ... I'm Clementine, by the way.

    Joel Barish : I'm Joel.

    Clementine Kruczynski : Hi, Joel.

    [they shake hands] 

    Clementine Kruczynski : No jokes about my name... Nooo, you wouldn't do that. You were trying to be nice.

    Joel Barish : I don't know any jokes about your name.

    Clementine Kruczynski : Huckleberry Hound.

    Joel Barish : I don't know what that means.

    Clementine Kruczynski : Huckleberry Hound? What are you, nuts?

    Joel Barish : It's been suggested.

  • Joel : Wait!

    Clementine : ...What?... What do you *want* Joel?

    Joel : I don't know! I want you wait for just a... a while.

  • Joel : Can you hear me? I don't want this any more! I want to call it off!

  • Clementine : Let me show you something... come on...

    Joel : I think I heard a crack.

    Clementine : It's not gonna crack, or break, or... it's so thick!... Show me which constellations you know.

    Joel : Um... oh... I don't... know any.

    Clementine : Show me which ones you know!

    Joel : Okay... okay... oh! There's Osidius.

    Clementine : Where?

    Joel : Right there... see? Sort of a swoop and a cross, Osidius the Emphatic.

    Clementine : You're full of shit, right?

    Joel : Nope. Osidius, right there, swoop and cross.

    Clementine : Shut the fuck up!

  • Clementine : [Clementine has dyed her hair orange]  You like? To match my sweatshirt, exactly.

    Joel : Ahaaahhhhh! Ohhhhhh! I like it!

    Clementine : You do?

    Joel : You look like a tangerine!

    Clementine : Hmmm, Clemen-teen the tangerine.

    Joel : Juicy 'n seedless.

    Clementine : I like that.

  • [4-year-old Joel watches his mother leave the room] 

    4-Year-Old Joel : I really want her to pick me up. It's amazing how strong that desire is.

  • Carrie : I saw you talking to someone pretty!

    Rob : Yeah, man, who was that?

    Joel : She was... just a girl.

  • Joel : I think your name is magical.

  • Joel : It's goddamn freezing on this beach. Montauk in February, brilliant, Joel.

  • Clementine : Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.

    Joel : I remember that speech really well.

    Clementine : I had you pegged, didn't I?

    Joel : You had the whole human race pegged.

    Clementine : Hmm. Probably.

    Joel : I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.

    Clementine : Ohhh... I know.

    Joel : It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.

    Clementine : Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.

  • Joel : By morning, you'll be gone.

  • Joel : I love being bathed in the sink - such a feeling of security.

    Clementine : I've never seen you happier, baby Joel.

  • Joel : My God, there's people coming out of your butt.

    Clementine : There is?

  • Clementine : Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance. So I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage or whatever it is ya got goin' on there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.

    Joel : Okay.

  • Joel : He's seducing my girlfriend with MY words and MY things! He stole her underwear! Jesus Christ, he stole her underwear.

  • Joel Barish : Pages ripped out. Don't remember doing that. It appears this is my first entry in two years.

  • Clementine : You married?

    Joel : No.

    Clementine : Let's move into this neighborhood!

    Joel : I do sorta live with someone though.

    Clementine : Male or female?

    Joel : What? Female... female...

    Clementine : At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree!

  • [Clementine comes in drunk and collapses on the couch. Joel has been sitting up and reading; his voice is angry] 

    Joel : It's 3 o'clock.

    Clementine : I kinda sorta wrecked your car.

    Joel : You were driving drunk. It's pathetic.

    Clementine : I was a little tipsy. Don't call me pathetic.

    Joel : Well, it *is* pathetic. And it's fucking irresponsible. You could've killed somebody. I don't know, maybe you did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see? Should I check the grille to see if there's children or small animals?

  • Clementine : I'm gonna marry you... I know it!

    Joel : Ummm... okay...

  • [Patrick knocks on Joel's car window while parked in front of Clem's apartment] 

    Joel : Yes?

    Patrick : Can I help you?

    Joel : What do you mean?

    Patrick : Can I help you with something?

    Joel : No.

    Patrick : What are you doing here?

    Joel : I'm not really sure what you're asking.

    Patrick : Oh, thanks...

  • [Clementine and Joel have broken into an empty house on the Montauk beach] 

    Joel Barish : I think we should go.

    Clementine Kruczynski : No, it's our house! Just for tonight...

    [she looks at an envelope on the counter] 

    Clementine Kruczynski : ... we are David and Ruth Laskin. Which one do you want to be? I prefer to be Ruth, but I'm flexible.

  • [Clementine is leading Joel out onto the frozen Charles River] 

    Joel : I don't know. What if it breaks?

    Clementine : What if? Do you really care right now?

  • Joel : I'm so ashamed.

    Clementine : It's okay, you're a little kid.

  • [looking at the letter from Lacuna, Inc] 

    Joel : What is it?

    Rob : I don't know, it's a place that does a thing...

  • Clementine : What are you, NUTS?

    Joel : It's been suggested.

  • Clementine : Look, I'm sorry if I came off a little nutso, I'm not really.

    Joel : That's okay, I really didn't think you were.

  • Joel : Why would she do that to me?

    Rob : Hey does anybody want a joint?

    Carrie : Oh, God, Rob, give it a rest.

  • [Clementine is trying to comfort baby Joel by showing him her crotch] 

    Clementine : My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.

    Joel : Yuck!

  • Joel : I don't see anything I don't like about you.

    Clementine : But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.

    Joel : Okay.

  • Carrie : She's impulsive. She decided to erase you almost as a lark.

    Joel : A lark.

  • Joel : Don't call me Antoine. My name is Wally.

    Clementine : Yes, I know, but how can a woman love a man with a name like Wally?

  • Joel : This is working like gangbusters.

  • Joel : You know, my life isn't that interesting. I go to work, I come home. Don't know what to say. You should read my journal. I mean, it's just - blank.

  • Joel : "Miss Kruczynski was not happy and wanted to move on. We provide that possibility." What the hell is that? Nicest guy she ever went out with.

  • Joel : You seem nice, so...

    Clementine : Oh, now I'm nice? Oh, God. Don't you know any other adjectives?

  • Mary : Don't. Wait, wait, wait, wait! No. I'm sorry, Doctor. He just barged right in here.

    Joel : Okay. I want it done. Now.

    Mary : I told him pre-Valentine's Day is our busy time.

  • Joel : Clem, let me drive you home.

    Clementine : Get out of my face, faggot!

  • Joel : Where's the self-help section?

  • Clementine : Joel, you're like an old lady or something.

    Joel : What are you like? A wino?

    Clementine : A wino? Jesus, are you from the '50s or something? A wino?

  • Joel : There's someone here. He stole your underwear.

    Clementine : I don't see anyone.

  • Clementine : This is sort of warped.

    Joel : I'm scared. I want my mommy!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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