Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktakular (2003 TV Movie)

Tabitha St. Germain: Scary Godmother, Ruby

Quotes 

• Skully Pettibone : [after explaining his job to Hannah Marie]  But when it comes to Halloween night I love nothing more than to roll the bones at a good party. You are staying for the party aren't you?

  Hannah Marie : [unsure]  Yes...

  Skully Pettibone : [confused]  Oh... well... good.

  Hannah Marie : I don't know, Scary Godmother said that there'll be monsters at the party. And I'm scared of monsters.

  Skully Pettibone : [laughs]  Oh my, you just haven't met enough good ones yet. You see Hannah, monsters are a lot like spiders: some are real nice, and some are not so nice. But all of them are creepy and crawly!

  [Hannah Marie shudders and faints. Scary Godmother pulls Skully aside] 

  Scary Godmother : [whispers, annoyed]  Was that supposed to help?

  Skully Pettibone : Yes. Do you think it worked?

  Scary Godmother : [dryly]  Yes.

• [Scary Godmother's doorbell rings] 

  Scary Godmother : I'll get it! How do I look?

  Skully Pettibone : Mm, frightful!

  Scary Godmother : You're too kind.

  [opens the door to reveal Harry the Werewolf] 

  Hannah Marie : Ahh! A Monster!

  [hides behind a chair] 

  Scary Godmother : [aside to Skully]  Only to his mother.

  [to Hannah Marie] 

  Scary Godmother : It's just Harry. Hi Harry, come on in.

  Harry the Werewolf : [enters the room]  Thank you Scary Godmother, I don't mind if I do.

• Orson : [Meeting Hannah Marie for the first time]  Hi.

  Hannah Marie : Hi... are you a real vampire?

  Orson : Of course I'm a real vampire, are you a real human?

  Hannah Marie : Yeah, but... you're just a kid.

  Orson : So are you.

  Hannah Marie : Do you go to school?

  Orson : Sure, night school. Don't you go to school?

  Hannah Marie : I go to school... Sacred Heart.

  Orson : Mm, sounds tasty. But you go during the day.

  Hannah Marie : So?

  Orson : How can you see with all that sunlight in your eyes?

  Hannah Marie : [giggles]  I can't see in the dark.

  Orson : [surprised]  You can't?

  Ruby : [aside to Scary Godmother]  It's his first real human.

  Scary Godmother : [smiles]  Cute.

• [Hannah Marie sees Bug-a-Boo for the first time and starts screaming, causing Bug-a-Boo to automatically scream back. Hannah Marie then stops to catch her breath] 

  Scary Godmother : It's okay! It's okay Hannah, take a deep breath...

  [Hannah Marie takes a deep breath... and goes right back to screaming] 

  Bug-a-Boo : If I start scaring kids after hours I'm gonna put in for overtime.

• [Hannah Marie is running away from Bug-a-Boo with fear, when she sees her Trick-Or-Treat bag] 

  Hannah Marie : My flashlight! That'll save me.

  [Grabs her flashlight] 

  Hannah Marie : Take that!

  [Shines it in Bug-a-Boo's face] 

  Bug-a-Boo : [skids to a halt; sarcastically]  What are you, a coal miner?

  Hannah Marie : [confused]  But, my dad said...

  Scary Godmother : [covering up]  Uhhh Hannah, flashlights only work on... monsters that hide in your closets, yeah, and, uh, Bug-a-Boo is a monster that hides under your bed.

  Bug-a-Boo : [to Scary Godmother]  Nice cover.

• [Harry has eaten all the party food] 

  Scary Godmother : [whistles]  Broommate huddle!

  [Bug-a-Boo and Skully join her] 

  Scary Godmother : Now what? The party's just starting and we're out of food.

  Skully Pettibone : [threateningly]  Well I could whip up some werewolf kabobs.

  [They and Bug-a-Boo glance over to Harry, who's licking a platter] 

  Scary Godmother : [punches Skully's arm]  Seriously!

• [Scary Godmother has found out that the pizzas cost two-hundred dollars, which she can't afford] 

  Scary Godmother : [whispers]  Skully, you got any money?

  Skully Pettibone : [sarcastically]  No, I left it in my other pelvis.

  Scary Godmother : [sarcastically]  Oh ha-ha very funny.

• [Harry has mistaken Hannah Marie for one of his favorite actresses and starts gabbing about one of his favorite shows] 

  Scary Godmother : [quickly to the audience]  Here's a treat that's fun to make and helps you get a word in edgewise. Take two of your favorite crackers, spread one with jam, one with peanut butter, smoosh them together, and jam them into the mouth of a chattering werewolf.

  [Force-feeds Harry the treat, cutting him off] 

  Scary Godmother : Voila! Now Harry, this is my new friend Hannah Marie. Not Ophelia St. What-Have-You who played Madame Lord High Mucky-Molasses from your favorite skullevision show.

  [Harry points at his mouth protestingly, not being able to talk thanks to the 'treat'. Skully mimics him behind his back] 

  Scary Godmother : Skully! Don't tease him!

  [Harry looks at Skully suspiciously while Skully looks away innocently] 

• [Hannah Marie has brought up her cousin Jimmy, who told her lies about monsters] 

  Harry the Werewolf : [clears his throat]  While I'm sure this Jimmy-slash-monster discussion is imperative to the plot, can we get back to something that is really important? Like ordering pizza?

  Scary Godmother : [warningly]  Harry, we haven't forgotten who inhaled the boo-fet.

  [Everyone glares at Harry] 

  Harry the Werewolf : Touche. Point well taken.

  [pause] 

  Harry the Werewolf : Socially awkward pause...

  [holds up the phone] 

  Harry the Werewolf : I'll phone this in.

• Scary Godmother : [uses her magic to grab Harry, who tried to make off with all the pizza]  You! You have wrecked my snack table, insulted my broommates, made a mess of my house, and stuck me for twelve pizzas. Harry, sometimes you are insensitive, boorish, and you just have plain lousy table manners.

  Harry the Werewolf : [pleadingly as everyone else starts taking the pizza boxes]  Oh please, I'll do anything!

  Scary Godmother : I know you will Harry. You'll help me in the pumpkin patch, you'll knit spiderwebs, clean the tombs... Oh yes, you'll probably have tonight paid off by Halloween next year. Enjoy your pizza.

  [lets him go with only one box of pizza left] 

  Harry the Werewolf : [looks away from the pizza]  It's turned to ashes in my mouth.

  Skully Pettibone : Oh, that's mine then. I had half-ashes half-green pepper.

  [takes the pizza away]