American Idol

If it weren't for Simon Cowell, I have to wonder how many people would watch this show. I admit this says something of my character, but he's the reason I watch this show. His blunt matter of fact, tell-it-like-is approach to telling the unvarnished truth to the no-talent wannabes who audition is something I find very refreshing. Especially when their egos and attitudes are directly proportional to the extent that they suck -- meaning the more they suck, the more ego and attitude they tend to have. (Not with all, but certainly a lot of them) Then there are others who don't have attitude and are devastated by criticism and can be seen in tears later, and even if they were bad I feel a little sorry for them. But that's simply the reality, of the music business and if these kids can't handle it, then they shouldn't be trying to forge a career as a musical artist.

That's reality, and Simon gives them this much needed reality check. It's reality TV in every sense of the word.

This is the first year (2005)that I've watched American Idol. I surprised myself and enjoyed it. It provides a look into the process and reasons for signing a person to a contract. The only thing that I don't like is the final weeks and how they let people know who has not made the cut. I find it cruel and unnecessary. I also find that Simon Crowell's comments are pretty accurate about the contestants. I used to watch Star Search, with Ed McMahon, and thought that was great, but this is much more interesting. I would like to see the handling of cutting contestants changed. I don't find this to be a popularity contest at all. I also think that if these people cannot take the criticism that is handed to them they should not be in the entertainment business.

American Idol, amounts to the same old same old talent show, repackaged and fancied up for your viewing entertainment. Oh yes, and the audience does get to phone in and cast their vote, which probably accounts for much of the popularity of this weekly song fest.

American Idol travels the country holding tryouts for tens of thousands idol wannabe's in several major cities through out the U.S. Contestants have been known to wait in line for days in hopes to get their big break. It is never made clear how some of these people are chosen to audition. The producers seem to want a mix of the very awful, the just OK, and the very good. The really awful ones are meant to entertain us in the preliminary rounds so that we can ridicule them along with the judges. Of all these early contestants, only 119 were picked to go to Hollywood to try and become one of the chosen 32. We are led to believe that these 119 are hand picked by the judges Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson. However, it is never made clear to us whether these judges sat and watched every single one of the tryouts, or how much input the producer of the show has into who makes it and who doesn't.

Once in Hollywood, the final 119 are given several tasks to perform in order to show their worthiness of becoming one of the 32 finalists. It was at this point that I began to smell a rat. First off, these tasks were not only unfair, but there was little logic in assigning them. For instance, each contestant was given a list of song subjects. From this list they had to choose on item, write a song about it and perform it the next day. Since there is no requirement that you have to be able to write a song to be an Idol, the task didn't make much sense to me. Sensing that most of America was probably as puzzled as I was, the host Ryan Secrest, explained it wasn't important as to whether or not the song was any good, it was to see how each contestant did under pressure. That would have been acceptable but when it came time to perform, the comments of the judges had little or nothing to do with that aspect of it. For instance, one contestant had written some rather clever lyrics and performed them quite well. She was able to do this whereas many contestants couldn't even remember the words to the songs they had written. Yet, Simon criticized her by asking her if she wanted to be a comedienne or a singer. The contestant seemed to be as taken aback as I was. How good the song was or what the song was about was not supposed to be an issued. She had performed well under pressure but it didn't matter. So much for fairness in this round.

The next task that each contestant had to get with two other contestants and perform a song together. This didn't make a whole lot of sense either and seemed even more ridiculous than the songwriting contest. If a contestant happened to get paired with two other good singers it made them look good. However, there were several unlucky good singers who were paired with mediocre contestants who refused to even practice.

When the 32 are picked we are given no reasons or criteria as to how they were judged. The girl Simon called a clown was history, although she had performed admirably at every phase. In her last appearance when she performed solo, she toned down her vivaciousness and performed an outstanding number. After she was finished, Simon, who had earlier asked her if she wanted to be a comedienne or a singer, now called her boring. Go figure. Two brothers who had also performed with mediocrity throughout the Hollywood auditions also made the final 32. There were other numerous unexplained choices, too many to even begin to pick apart here. Again we are not told if the three judges had the final say so or whether the shows producers or whoever had input into the decision.

The contestant the judges have heaped the most praise on has always moved on. The second contestant that has moved on has been kind of like a roll of the dice, there is never any certainty about it. Call me a cynic if you will, but I find it strange that the phone-in votes has always agreed with the judges on their first choice. You would think that at some point just by figuring the odds that this wouldn't happen every week. It can only lead one to two possible conclusions: 1. Either the American viewing public is a race of sheep unable to decide for themselves who they think is best or 2. There's some monkey business going on with the voting on this show. Neither choice is very palatable, especially when you consider some of the decisions made by the judges.

There are some other hard fast rules to remember about American Idol. First, never sing a slow song if you can get around it. No matter how good you are or how good you may sing, it is the kiss of death. You will be called either boring, a lounge singer, a café singer, or someone who is unwilling to take chances. Second, despite what I said above, never take chances or be original. These judges frown on it. One singer who took a chance on a jazz number was quickly banished because it wasn't the type of song the judges were looking for. That she sang and performed well didn't matter. Third, when you get to the end of your song, sing very very loud, and hold your last note as long as you can. These are sure fire audience pleaser's and the judges eat it up. Proof of this can be found in each of the contestants that the judges have lavished their highest praises on in the first three weeks of season three.

There is plenty more wrong with this show, and I could write a thousand more words about it. All I can say is tune in, have an open mind, and ask some questions about legitimacy. Somebody should.

My Grade F

This show is a reality show at heart. Thousands of people audition in front of three judges, the infamous (yet truthful. People, if they're bad singers, don't blame him!) Simon, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul. They're mostly given the boot but some pass and go through many elimination rounds until we, the viewers, get to vote and slowly one-by-one toss out the final ten until we get one American Idol.

The first episodes are definitely the ones that spark its' popularity. As an exchange for a free contract deal, FOX is allowed to videotape and broadcast anyone they want.

This is the 5, 000+ auditioning stage. With so many people of so many cities, we've got to find at least a dozen people who think they can sing. I'm talking about the bad ones. Emphasize on THINK.

It's sad when they say they've always had a singing dream and are awful. But it's hilarious when people outburst because they now THOUGHT (or still think) they can sing. One guy on a recent season 2 episode thought he deserved to be the American Idol 'cause he thought he could sing and he stood out 5 days in the cold. Too bad he sounded like a bird being strangled.

There was another one of the same episode who said he had a dream(so far sad) of being a singer. He sings, and puts way too much into it(he's trying to sound like Enrique Glasias", and is turned down(still sad). He's OK, though, and walks out with a smile(right now confusing). He then walks out and proclaims to everyone he's going to Hollywood(the next round)(a little funny). About an audition later, the camera finds him sitting waiting for an audition. He explains to the security guard with the cameraman he's been invited back(now funny). As this never happens, the security guard doesn't hesitate to correct him and boots him out(kinda funny). He yells while leaving(the security guard lets him walk out himself) "I'll see you all in Hollywood!".(funny)

One last one, a girl couldn't believe they said she was just under average, good only hidden in a crowd of a choir. She denies being turned down, and when the host(with proof) asks her didn't she get refused Hollywood, she states she doesn't know, and tries to get back in to find out. One thing: she's a terrible liar. For ratings, she's allowed back in. Simon asks her hadn't they already seen her. She clearly wants a second chance, but strangely tries to start with (maybe the host was there) "I wanted to know if I'm going to Hollywood". "No, because you're terrible.". And it ends.

The second round is OK, as the crowd of about 200 is brought down to 30. The people who don't make it get a chance to speak out.

After that, we start voting, while the judges provide their thoughts. In a clearly planned move, you take away the bad singers now, and wind up with audience interaction. It's not the same, but you still see one vote and wonder how many people are trying to mess it all up by purposely trying to wind up with a bad singer winning.

I really enjoy the first parts more. But it's truly speechless. You have to see it to believe it.

There comes a time in every reasonable man's life when he must sit down in his living room and watch an episode of American Idol. Truth is I'm not a reasonable man. Or even a reasonable woman, now that I think about it. I have, however, watched an episode of American Idol and will go so far as to say that I have religiously watched three seasons of it. First season was great. Second season was good. During third season, I got wiser and realized that the show wasn't as good anymore, but still I watched. It had lost its magic, its X-Factor, you could say. During fourth season, I watched four or five episodes. By then, I had rediscovered sitcom television. Now comes fifth season, and the inevitable disappointment that lurks around the show reappears again. Yet, people still watch the show because they are too brainwashed not to.

Then again, what else is there to watch on Tuesdays? Or Wednesdays. Or Thursdays. Or any other night of the week, for that matter. I mean, why watch anything else when I can watch the new season or reruns of past performances made readily available via my Handy-Dandy DVD player? (Yes, we bought the Best of Season One. So sue me.) I must say that American Idol has become predictable. A "dude, man, dawg" from Randy Jackson. An "I just want to eat you up and make all our viewers sick to their stomachs with my infinite well of gaga comments" from Paula Abdul. And "Enter sarcastic, British remark here" from Simon Cowell. Cue Ryan Seacrest's idiotic retort and make-the-girls-swoon smile. The contestants are the same: air-headed bimbos, wannabe rockers, real rockers, melt-the-camera-with-a-stare heartthrobs, belters, and the like. For goodness sake, give us something good to watch again! Every now and then we get fantastic singers like Kelly Clarkson, Tamira Grey, and Clay Aiken. The rest are a little more or less than mediocre. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I heard Ruben, Fantasia, or Diana on the radio. Don't even mention Justin Guarini. What a waste of his perfectly good talent. The only thing Idol can do for you is give you a year, if that, of fame, then send you on back home to the karaoke bars in Oneida, Tennessee. Tough break, kids.

It is just unfair to see what they do to these contestants. They get the same amount of men as they do women to avoid any legal problems about gender bias. Completely bogus! Sometimes, there are better men than some of the women on that show (and vice versa), so why should they be cut just so the Idol producers won't be accused of discrimination on the cover of tabloids. The real crime is letting a bunch of less-than-worthy singers get on just to balance things out. And then some of the singers get scolded for song choices. Oh, no, Heaven forbid someone does a Mariah or a Whitney! No, no! Those are untouchable. I just have my fingers crossed that one contestant will finally lash out at Randy, saying, "Well, Mr. Jackson, you give me a list of songs I'm not supposed to do, and I'll make sure I sing them all just for you." Even if they are really good, nothing is as good as the original, so just give up.

The producers of Idol need to take a step back from the show they've created and look at what it has become: a rigged popularity contest. The only thing Idol is good for is delaying House episodes for weeks at a time. What a waste of an Emmy and Golden Globe winning show. Producers, you need some variety in this show. Just keep your fingers crossed that you choose the correct Idol this time, as you seem to think that America is too intellectually inept to do so themselves. Greenlighting this overstayed-it's-welcomed show for another season and thinking that the same people are still going to love it would be optimistic to the point of foolishness. But then again, what do I know? I'm just a kid with a television and a telephone.