In-Laws (TV Series 2002–2003) Poster

(2002–2003)

Jean Smart: Marlene Pellet

Photos 

Quotes 

  • Marlene : Family dinners don't start until the whole family's here.

    Alex : Where's Daddy?

    Marlene : He's getting seconds.

  • Marlene : Call me old-fashioned, but when I was your age, nice girls brushed their hair after sex.

  • Matt : Marlene, uh, this looks delicious.

    Marlene : Oh, Matt, thanks. I would say it was effortless, but why lie? I broke my ass!

  • Alex : Looks like the new Marlene's ready to climb the corporate ladder.

    Marlene : I'm not climbin' anything in this skirt. Unless, of course, I want to close the deal!

  • Alex : Ma, remember when you were in high school and there was a group of popular girls that were, like, oblivious to everyone else?

    Marlene : No. It was just me and my friends.

  • Matt : The trophies didn't move! The trophies didn't move!

    Marlene : Wouldn't it be more alarming if they did?

  • Marlene : The men of this household are marking their territory. If I were you, I would just try to stay out of the way and not get sprayed!

  • Matt : Marlene, can you, uh, keep a secret?

    Marlene : No.

  • Matt : When you have to tell Victor some bad news, is there anything you do or say to soften the blow?

    Marlene : Well, there is this one thing I do.

    Matt : Please, I'm desperate.

    Marlene : Usually I start by taking a bubble bath with him.

    Matt : Is there any special soap?

  • Marlene : You look good in leather. Well, everybody looks good in leather. Yeah, leather's lucky... well, except for cows.

  • Matt : Marlene, is it me or does your sledgehammer clash with that bag?

    Marlene : I use this to hammer in my "For Sale" signs. You know, every time I swing it I feel like I'm driving in a golden spike on a whole new future and I smile. Although sometimes I hit a sprinkler line, then I just run!

  • Marlene : Victor, does our insurance cover sledgehammer accidents?

    Victor : No. Why?

    Marlene : Nothing!

  • Victor : What's going on?

    Marlene : Alex wants Matt to fit in.

    Victor : Where?

    Marlene : Here.

    Victor : Why?

  • [Victor and Marlene eavesdrop at the door] 

    Victor : What's going on now?

    Marlene : Matt thinks we're listening.

    Victor : That paranoid little bastard!

  • Marlene : I'm the only person in the office who hasn't sold a house yet. People are beginning to talk. They call me "Can't Sell It Pellet."

    Matt : So, someone said something in passing.

    Marlene : They made it my screensaver!

  • Matt : I, uh, hung a little Halloween decoration on the front porch and these two are making a big deal out of it.

    Marlene : A decoration? Oh, good God, Matt, you've opened the gates of hell!

  • Alex : You made this?

    Marlene : Yeah, well, it was kind of a team effort. I called and Pasta Palace delivered.

  • Marlene : Oh, what? You're afraid I'm gonna repeat it?

    Alex : Mom, you break news faster than CNN!

  • Alex : I earned that award for selling the most cookies!

    Marlene : Your father bought most of them and he paid the neighbors to act like they bought them. Don't you remember? It was that summer I gained seventeen pounds and everything smelled like Thin Mints!

  • Alex : You said you had the day off.

    Marlene : Yeah, well, "day off" was kind of putting a spin on it.

    Alex : What does it sound like when it stops spinning?

    Marlene : I ditched work.

  • Marlene : It was just a real estate seminar. The last one was a motivational speaker telling us how to stay focused. Blah, blah, blah... I fell asleep!

  • Victor : Well that was the worst movie ever made!

    Alex : Daddy, how do you know? We barely stayed past the opening credits.

    Victor : Well that's because in the first ten minutes it contained two of my movie dealbreakers: period costumes and male nudity.

    Marlene : Well I liked the part I saw... Oh, that didn't come out right!

  • Marlene : Alex! Don't let your father catch you opening presents 'til Christmas.

    Alex : I thought I heard a puppy in there and I wanted to make sure it had some air!

  • Marlene : Can you believe that? She asked me to take care of her cat for the week!

    Matt : Yeah but, Marlene, you offered.

    Marlene : No, I didn't! I said, "If there's anything I can do." It's a hollow, meaningless gesture!

  • Victor : He had the nerve to call our daughter spoiled in our home?

    Marlene : I know!

    Victor : Well we better buy her something to make her feel better!

  • Alex : He also said that I tell you everything.

    Marlene : That is so not true! What else did he say?

  • Victor : Marlene, what have I been dreaming about for the last six months?

    Marlene : Matt with big chipmunk teeth, chasing you with a frying pan?

  • Marlene : All I had to do to impress Victor's mother was get pregnant right away. Thank goodness she was lousy at math!

  • Marlene : You know, we really don't have room for this one, but where do you throw out a recycling bin?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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