She Spies (2002–2004)
Carlos Jacott: Jack Wilde
Photos
Quotes
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Jack Wilde : [voiceover] While both sides have valid points of view, the producers of 'She Spies' wish to state that we take no stand whatsoever on the issue of animal testing, as we lack the moral fiber to take a strong position on anything at all.
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Jack Wilde : In regards to our roles, maybe we should be wacky siblings?
Cassie McBain : Can we still be married?
Jack Wilde : In certain parts of Kentucky and West Virginia. And for anyone from those lovely states who might have overheard, I was of course making a joke.
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Jack Wilde : Hey! Come back here. I ordered a Diet Coke. Not this generic and fizz-free soft drink that looks like a prop on some first-run syndicated TV show.
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Jack Wilde : If he gets those hands on those trade secrets the livelihoods of thousands of factory workers are at stake.
Cassie McBain : So is this another one of those conversations where we both know all these things but for some reason we have to say them out loud?
Jack Wilde : Yeah, I guess so.
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Jack Wilde : Give me a J.Lo.
Bartender : What's that?
Jack Wilde : Whatever you want - just put it in a big-ass glass.
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Jack Wilde : Ladies, I have a bone to pick with you.
Cassie McBain : Darn, I was hoping to have a boneless day.
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Shane Phillips : It's sleaze like that that gives sleaze like us a bad name.
Jack Wilde : Yeah, well, contact your union.
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Tanya : You should be thankful, you know. In some species the female eats the male after mating.
Jack Wilde : And not in the way we like it.
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Jack Wilde : Who do you wreak havoc and destruction wherever you go?
D.D. Cummings : It's what we love.
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[in the middle of a clip episode]
Jack Wilde : That's odd - my memory seems to be coming back in perfectly-packaged little scenes.
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Jack Wilde : I work with a team... three people. One black, one white... but two are blonde which would rule out the Mod Squad.
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Jack Wilde : Dr. Franco, it's happening again. The unshakeable feeling I'm a sidekick whose only purpose is to give exposition in an action-adventure show!
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[watching a tape of Indigo]
D.D. Cummings : Why is he telling us exactly what he's going to do?
Shane Phillips : That's cocky.
Indigo : I'll tell you why and yes, it is cocky. I'm so good at outguessing you authority types I knew what your last two statements were.
Jack Wilde : He is good.
Indigo : [still on tape] Aren't I just?
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Jack Wilde : Ooh. Refresh my memory - middle finger straight up mean you're number one in customer satisfaction?
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Jack Wilde : So what you're saying is, if we we start with how, that'll help us figure out who, when, where, and why?
Dr. Marks : Forget about who - when we find out the where, we'll know the who.
Jack Wilde : How will where tell us who?
Dr. Marks : Isn't this getting a little bit convoluted?
Jack Wilde : How?
Dr. Marks : How?
Jack Wilde : Or why?
Dr. Marks : What?
Jack Wilde : I don't know.
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Jack Wilde : You said you wanted to butter up the boss, I didn't know you meant it literally.