The Scream Team (2002 TV Movie)

Eric Idle: Coffin Ed

Photos 

Quotes 

• Coffin Ed : As we say in the ghost business... BOO.

• [last lines] 

  Coffin Ed : There are some advantages to being dead.

• Claire Carlyle : [walks up close to the portal mirror] 

  Claire Carlyle : What is this?

  Mariah : Oh, hey. No, no, no. Hey! Step away. Away from the portal!

  [They step away] 

  Mariah : Thank you. You will have your opportunity soon enough. Not now.

  Claire Carlyle : [Afraid]  I'm going to die?

  Coffin Ed : Uh, hello. Newsflash - everybody dies.

• Jumper : This is getting embarrassing! What are we doing? We are the Soul Patrol! We got way more life force than a dozen stinking ghosts. This is what I signed up for.

  [Shakes head, with an attitude] 

  Jumper : I say, we kick some serious ghost butt.

  Mariah : Yeah, except for you didn't sign up. You were sentenced!

  Jumper : What - ever.

  [Turns to Ed] 

  Jumper : Are you with me, Eddie?

  Coffin Ed : Only one week left on the force! Why can't I just retire in peace?

• Ian Carlyle : [after Zachariah Kull absorbs Jumper's soul]  Jumper!

  Coffin Ed : NO!

  Claire Carlyle : Ed, I'm so sorry.

  Ian Carlyle : Don't worry. We'll rescue him!

  Coffin Ed : Oh, we will. I will swear on my life I'll rescue Jumper - or die trying!

  Ian Carlyle : Isn't that sort of an empty promise?

  [Claire hits him] 

  Coffin Ed : Picky, picky, picky.

• Jumper : [rants off about being trapped in a jar] 

  Jumper : And some partner you turned out to be.

  [Makes a face with his palm facing the brother and sister] 

  Jumper : Wiggity biggity woo! That's the best you could do?

  Coffin Ed : You're welcome.

  Jumper : [sarcastic]  Oh, I'm supposed to be thanking you now. Two little kids here, you can't even scare...

  Mariah : [interrupts]  Gentlemen, please. I think we have a few pressing problems here.