- Clawser: I no longer get to ambush people and eviscerate them with my claws. Instead, they willingly come to gawk at me. Then I eviscerate them.
- FooPriest: Honesty is the key to any relationship. If you can fake that, you're set.
- Slime: Damn. People are always kicking my ass. What's that? What do you mean, which end is my ass?
- Slime: Gaahhh! Don't hit me! Oh, sorry, force of habit.
- Hulkagon: Sometimes it's nice to lay down in the grass and just bask in the sunshine. Give it a try. I promise I won't crush you beneath my foot, leaving only a red smear in the green grass to remember you by. Aah... sunshine.
- Fuga: I hate you guys. I hate you so very, very much. Words cannot express how much I hate you guys.
- Bludbeast: I will live forever. So far, so good.
- Wellghost: My life is hollow and empty. Oh, I mean welcome to 'Monster Park.'
- Woebottle: You must be parched. Please, have a sip. I said drink, damn it!
- Goopi: What is the sound of one hand clapping?
- Hork: Ahhhh! I see live people!
- PodPriest: I believe God is a small, oddly colored deity.