Two Texas gardeners, who object to Northern attitudes and lifestyles, venture northward to cut lawns, trim hedges, and murder and mutilate Northern Yuppies.Two Texas gardeners, who object to Northern attitudes and lifestyles, venture northward to cut lawns, trim hedges, and murder and mutilate Northern Yuppies.Two Texas gardeners, who object to Northern attitudes and lifestyles, venture northward to cut lawns, trim hedges, and murder and mutilate Northern Yuppies.
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Joseph Marzano
- Detective Agnosky
- (as Joe Marzano)
- Director
- Writer
- All cast & crew
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Nathan Schiff's "They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore" is an extremely gory horror film about two Texas gardeners,Billy Buck(John Smihula) and Jacob(Adam Berke),who mutilate yuppies.The film mixes the gory imagery with broad comedy.The gore is pretty extreme and disgusting,but the special effects are really crummy,so it's hard to take them seriously.Basically various people are killed and dismembered in the variety of grisly ways."They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore" is much better than Schiff's debut "Weasels Rip My Flesh",so if you like 'em bloody give it a look.Here is my favourite gore scene:a young girl swallows a firecracker before taking a shotgun blast in her crotch!
First off: please don't complain that this flick is terrible simply because of the bad acting, fake gore or lack of storyline. It was clearly meant to be that way for it is a low budget film. Whatever budget they did have was obviously spent on the gore - this is a gore flick, nothing more nothing less. It's as fake as hell but it keeps you watching, there's never a dull moment. There are also some hilarious lines such as when the girl cries "Please don't rape me!" in the most unconvincing voice ever, to which the gardener replies: "I ain't gonna rape you bitch, you smell like fish, I never did like seafood!" Me and my friend are always quoting that line! It's so bad but so hilarious. If you watch this with the right frame of mind, ie. not expecting a great film but expecting fake gory silliness, then you should enjoy it. Sadly there's not many people around that would take this film for what it is.
I am a huge Gore Hound, and read the reviews on IMDb and got this from netflix. I thought I was gonna see a movie that was so bad that it's good. I did not get that at all. The gore is so fake. The intestines are obviously pieces of rope because most of time you see them they are bright white. When they rip the girls' faces off (which is done rather easily I might add) there is a squishing noise that is obviously done with someone's mouth making the noise. I know this is low budget, but it's ridiculous that this even got released. You or I could make this film. I watched the interview with Nathan Schiff on the DVD. He said that this was meant to be a satire with a good script and decent acting behind it. However, he wanted John Smihula in it and he was going into the peace corps in two weeks. So, he had to shoot it in 2 weeks and cut most of the ideas he had and just make it a gore film. He wrote the film quickly and had to use people who had never acted before. Here's an idea Nathan, instead of building the entire movie around John Smihula, why didn't you get another actor who could do it,which would have given you more time to make the movie you claim you wanted to? So, contrary to what people say this is not a gore hounds delight, unless you like obviously fake effects with dolls in plain view. HG Lewis had better effects in Wizard of Gore in 1967.
I Just love this gore movie. Yeah sure acting is bad, blood is bad, effects Are bad but its Just a funny easy bizarro movie. I love it. I wish it had better effects.
Nathan Schiff's third film is yet another gorefest that is gloriously short (clocking in at only 70 minutes) but that's all you need b/c there is no plot and no acting chops at all. Well, actually, I can't deny that John Smihula did a decent job as the Southern hick "mastermind" who ends up killing a bunch of Northern yuppies with his deranged friend. The way he delivered his lines made the horrendous dialogue only that much funnier. More entertaining in terms of gleeful abandonment of any attempt at making a serious film. I mean the dialogue is worse than most porn movies (it's truly truly TRULY bad). The gore is impressive though yet again (taking into consideration that this is a NO-budget movie) and that's all that really matters
watching people's faces get ripped off and their intestines yanked out in gloriously fake (but utterly disgusting and vile) detail. Long live Schiff!
Did you know
- TriviaThe entire movie was made in only five days.
- ConnectionsReferenced in B-Movie Den: They Don't Cut The Grass Anymore (2020)
- SoundtracksThey Don't Cut the Grass Anymore
Written by John Smihula and Nathan Schiff (as N.H. Schiff)
Sung by John Smihula
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By what name was They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore (1985) officially released in Canada in English?
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