I actually am affiliated with the successor to the organization that sponsored this, but no one in the organization even knew about this. So far over the top that people may have been embarrassed to admit to it. It seems to be a parody, but it isn't. Amazing how someone convinced the federal government to test the proposition of the film, but they apparently did. And the narrator seems to be the guy who narrated all of this genre of movies (which include the driver's ed and scary health education films I recall. I suspect this guy had cornered the market on the VD prevention movies they showed to poor GIs back then too. Anyway, worth the time to watch -- a real hoot.
20 Reviews
The World is About To End. Should I Mow the Lawn?
boblipton28 December 2008
This short subject starts off with a picture of a mushroom cloud arising from a nuclear explosion. It is produced by "The National Clean Up - Paint Up - Fix Up Bureau" -- with of course, the cooperation of the Federal Civil Defense Administration. This was an era when they exposed soldiers to atom bombs to study effects. Indeed, it was a couple of years before Howard Hughes imported sand from atomic testing sites for studio retakes of THE CONQUEROR. This eventually resulted in the death by cancer of Dick Powell and the removal of one of co-star John Wayne's lungs. So, at the time, this seemed a sensible question.
In retrospect this industrial film looks like a parody of itself -- will a semi-gloss or a latex best resist the end of the world and should I use a white undercoating? Or would wallpaper do a better job? Maybe one of the Morris prints which uses lots of green arsenic for the nursery. In the meantime, you'd better throw out those old newspapers because when they drop the Bomb next door, they will burst into flames and lower real estate values.
Yet, in many ways, B movies and industrial films provide us with the best view of contemporary thought from an era. For a major picture, you have many bright people laboring intensively to make every choice. For something like this, it's a matter of getting it today, not right, and so the casual, easy choice that reveals the habits of the era is the one taken.
So while you're busy laughing your head off at the stupidity of people more than half a century ago -- and trying hard not to think of what people will think about us in another half century -- consider this from a sociological viewpoint, if you would.
In retrospect this industrial film looks like a parody of itself -- will a semi-gloss or a latex best resist the end of the world and should I use a white undercoating? Or would wallpaper do a better job? Maybe one of the Morris prints which uses lots of green arsenic for the nursery. In the meantime, you'd better throw out those old newspapers because when they drop the Bomb next door, they will burst into flames and lower real estate values.
Yet, in many ways, B movies and industrial films provide us with the best view of contemporary thought from an era. For a major picture, you have many bright people laboring intensively to make every choice. For something like this, it's a matter of getting it today, not right, and so the casual, easy choice that reveals the habits of the era is the one taken.
So while you're busy laughing your head off at the stupidity of people more than half a century ago -- and trying hard not to think of what people will think about us in another half century -- consider this from a sociological viewpoint, if you would.
"You've seen the tests. You know the story."
classicsoncall3 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Well folks, I am literally speechless. Do you think this was serious? I've seen my share of exploitation flicks from the Thirties and Forties dealing with drugs, alcohol and prostitution, but I have to say, this is a genre of film making that defies credibility. Right out of the gate I thought they were trying to pull a fast one with that business about 'The National Clean Up - Paint Up - Fix Up Bureau' but if you do a quick Google search you'll come up with a bunch of hits, although most of them lead you right back to this film short.
Bottom line - a clean, white painted home with proper inside housekeeping may be the margin between life and death if an atom bomb explodes in your neighborhood. In it's short ten minute or so run time, the somber narrator practically begs you to keep your home tidy to ward off the destructive effects of an atomic heat flash. I bet you think I'm making this up, right?
I was intrigued about a film I heard of called "The Atomic Cafe" that dealt with Cold War paranoia and the palpable threat of nuclear war back in the Fifties. There's a set of two DVD's put out by Docurama Films that contains that hour and a half documentary along with another eight or nine propaganda shorts including this one. This was the first one I watched on the bonus disc, and if the rest are as zany as this one, it will qualify as the find of the century. However as I sit here writing this review and check out the condition of my work area, I could be a goner when the big one hits. I should really take the advice of the guy in the film - he states emphatically that if you keep your house neat and tidy, THE REWARD MAY BE SURVIVAL. You know, I think he meant it.
Bottom line - a clean, white painted home with proper inside housekeeping may be the margin between life and death if an atom bomb explodes in your neighborhood. In it's short ten minute or so run time, the somber narrator practically begs you to keep your home tidy to ward off the destructive effects of an atomic heat flash. I bet you think I'm making this up, right?
I was intrigued about a film I heard of called "The Atomic Cafe" that dealt with Cold War paranoia and the palpable threat of nuclear war back in the Fifties. There's a set of two DVD's put out by Docurama Films that contains that hour and a half documentary along with another eight or nine propaganda shorts including this one. This was the first one I watched on the bonus disc, and if the rest are as zany as this one, it will qualify as the find of the century. However as I sit here writing this review and check out the condition of my work area, I could be a goner when the big one hits. I should really take the advice of the guy in the film - he states emphatically that if you keep your house neat and tidy, THE REWARD MAY BE SURVIVAL. You know, I think he meant it.
Keep your house painted and your yard free of debris and you, too, can survive a nuclear holocaust!
planktonrules25 March 2019
"The House in the Middle" is a very strange short film. It's a production of the oddly named ' National Clean Up-Paint Up-Fix Up Bureau' as well as the Federal Civil Defense Administration.
This public service film is all about how to survive a nuclear disaster. According to the film, homes that are well painted, have uncluttered yards and look nice are far more likely to survive attacks. Of course, the likelihood of ANY homes surviving a nuclear attack is something the film never discusses!
Overall, this is a dull little film that is mostly of interest to historians and folks who enjoy the various weird nuclear preparedness films of the era.
This public service film is all about how to survive a nuclear disaster. According to the film, homes that are well painted, have uncluttered yards and look nice are far more likely to survive attacks. Of course, the likelihood of ANY homes surviving a nuclear attack is something the film never discusses!
Overall, this is a dull little film that is mostly of interest to historians and folks who enjoy the various weird nuclear preparedness films of the era.
Unintentionally Hilarious Home Maintenance Tips
llboll18 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Made with the utmost sincerity, with a stirring score to match, they forget to mention that fixing up and tidying your house and yard won't help all that much when your irradiated. But a new coat of paint may help leave the house in good shape for the cockroaches that survive.
Another great reason to check out TCM late nights.
Another great reason to check out TCM late nights.
So they drop the bomb in my neighborhood and my house is OK
nyurbiz7 November 2010
OMFG. Like one of the other reviewers I too recorded this from TCM (9/4/2010) and expected to see mushroom clouds and damage to different types of objects, but never expected it to be saying the a clean house and yard will be protected from an atomic blast.
It seems like the US govt. would have been a little more realistic in their messages to the public by telling them to kiss their asses goodbye if an atomic bomb was detonated in their town, rather than wasting money on a film telling them their property would be spared if it was clean and well maintained. Of course this from a government who would later develop the neutron bomb which preserves property but kills everyone more quickly.
Good for a few chuckles with horrible production values and (as mentioned by another reviewer) the same narrator (seemingly) as some other classic government propaganda films. Enjoy!
It seems like the US govt. would have been a little more realistic in their messages to the public by telling them to kiss their asses goodbye if an atomic bomb was detonated in their town, rather than wasting money on a film telling them their property would be spared if it was clean and well maintained. Of course this from a government who would later develop the neutron bomb which preserves property but kills everyone more quickly.
Good for a few chuckles with horrible production values and (as mentioned by another reviewer) the same narrator (seemingly) as some other classic government propaganda films. Enjoy!
Wanna Know How to Survive a Nuclear Attack? Ask Sherwin Williams
utgard1420 July 2014
Unintentionally funny short put out by the National Clean Up-Paint Up-Fix Up Bureau (yes, really) and the Civil Defense Administration. The gist of it is that you should keep your house clean and tidy with a fresh coat of paint because if there's a nuclear war your house will survive it. You'll be atomized but your house will still be standing. Small consolation to most people. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt that the intention here was earnest and it wasn't just a scare tactic to get people to properly maintain their homes so suburban property values stay high. But it's really hard to buy what they're selling. If I'm going to be killed instantly by the blast or die slowly from radiation poisoning, I really don't give a squat if my house survives. Anyway, this is pretty interesting from historical and sociological perspectives, not to mention good for some laughs.
Typical of the Time
Hitchcoc27 March 2019
In retrospect, this is so ridiculous as to be laughable. Having lived through this time (as a child at the time), government agencies had us believing that if a nuclear weapon were exploded, all we had to do is get out of the way. We all know the "duck and cover" bit. The idea that a coat of paint and a clean up of your yard would do the least bit of good when a fireball hits your property is ludicrous. My rating was strictly on the basis of its entertainment value. The dramatic music and the intensity of the narrator are quite amusing. Let's hope with our current cozying up with Russia that we don't ever have to face such an attack. That's the serious side.
Behold, the bringer of light
nickenchuggets20 July 2022
In the 1950s, nuclear attack by the Soviet Union was on every American's mind. Shorts like this might seem ridiculous in hindsight now that the Cold War is a thing of the past, but things like this are still important today, as the Earth is still home to thousands of nuclear weapons. This short attempts to prove to the US public that cleaning the inside of your house (and the area around it) might not only save your home in case of atomic war, but your life as well. The film shows a vast and empty test range in the Nevada desert which is where many nuclear tests are carried out. On the range are two houses. Both are made of wood, but one has a tidy interior while the other house is the opposite. A nuke explodes some miles away, and within seconds, a huge shockwave destroys parts of both roofs, but the left house is still standing. The one on the right burns to a crisp. Next, we see three houses. The one on the right is composed mostly of old wood that's never been painted before, and has a large amount of garbage and clutter around the outside. The house on the left is much of the same, and is built of old, rotten wood that's practically falling apart. Finally, the middle house is painted pure white to reflect the intense flash of an atomic explosion, has no clutter in its vicinity, and has been recently painted, which helps alleviate moisture. The excruciating heat generated by the bomb is noticeably less effective at damaging this house, and it's shown to be remarkably intact after the other two go up in flames. Ironically, the house on the right starts burning because a fire ignited on the garbage and then spread to the house. We're then told how important it is to keep the inside and outside of your house clean because it can save you from the end of the world. In general, I thought this short was pretty ridiculous, which seems to be the general consensus among the 50 or so people who took time out of their day to watch it. In reality, following the nonsense guidelines shown in this short wouldn't actually mean anything in case a nuke explodes in your city, as anyone relatively close to ground zero would be disintegrated and people for miles around would suffer intense burns and exposure to cancerous radiation. Back then, I suppose films like this had to be made to reassure the population, even if the notion of surviving such a huge explosion is absurd. At the very least, the short encourages you to make sure you don't leave things lying around your house.
for the atomic pyromaniac in all of us
SnoopyStyle24 July 2021
It's a documentary of the fake buildings set up in the desert before destroying it in atomic bomb tests. There is lots of burning and some blowing up. The last experiment has three small houses. The middle one is the best maintain one which is the only one to survive. This is not the most exciting. It's 50's info short and the info's usefulness is questionable. The takeaway seems to be clean your trash and keep your home nicely painted. It does have the explosive footage which is nice.
How to use fear in 1954 to get people to buy house paint
melklay22 October 2021
The National Paint, Varnish and Lacquer Association using the name "national clean up paint up fix up bureau with the cooperation of the federal CD administration tried to convince people to paint their house to Protect them from a nuclear storm. Somehow that would protect their home and I guess them... nowhere do they mention the nuclear radiation that would kill them pretty quickly and painfully. But at least they will have a nicely painted house.
The film is spooky to watch, knowing what we know today about dangers of radiation.
The film is spooky to watch, knowing what we know today about dangers of radiation.
I Used To Own The House On The Right
verbusen17 May 2009
Warning: Spoilers
No matter what your political leanings are, The House In The Middle should tickle your funny bone. I recorded this from Turner Classic Movies (which I'm sure will repeat it someday and it's also on the internet to watch), and I was expecting to see various atomic blast targets as they got blasted. Things like barns, telephone poles, trees, goats, pigs, mannequins in sofa's, etc etc. Nope if you were thinking like me you would realize immanently that this was presented by The NATIONAL Clean it Up, Fix It Up, Paint It Up Bureau (oh brother!). One wonders how many non national chapters there were, and I'm amazed that no one has used that name as a joke of some sort, I guess this film has remained buried a long time, and for good reason. The whole point of the film is to tell you to be clean so your house can survive a nuclear attack. They didn't care so much about your survival even though they said it's for that reason, but rather America needs it's houses standing after the Commies take us to the woodshed. They go so far as to say that even IN your house to not be a slob as your house is going to burn from all those old newspapers lying around when the A bomb hits the city next to yours and your house gets the heat blast. I can see the very patriotic America of the 50's laughing out loud about this film, it's way over the top. I can see neighbors gripping about how their spotless clean WHITE (yes they do mention it has to be WHITE, lol) home is going to burn up because the next door neighbors house was not as clean and got torched and the fire spread. Thankfully its only 15 minutes long, this is definitely a so bad it's good film and worth a 10 of 10. Now, go clean your room Junior, for America's survival, lol.
Middle House on the Prairie
thirteenprime19 May 2014
The "National Clean-Up Paint-Up Fix-Up Bureau" was an arm of the National Paint, Varnish and Lacquer Association. I don't know who was the intended audience for this film (homeowners? hardware store jobbers?), but the unintended hilarity is of a piece with other Cold War atomic-survival films.
The film does take pains to point out that this advice is meant for suburban homeowners who live on the "outer fringes" of a target area. There is enough truth in the advice here -- paint your house white to reflect heat, keep your grounds free of trash and clutter to prevent the spread of fire -- that the casual viewer of the 1950s might begin to think seriously about doing a little maintenance work. It was not enough to urge people to keep things neat and tidy because, well, they really should; the National Paint, Varnish and Lacquer Association clearly felt that homeowners had to be scared into doing so. I wonder if it worked?
You'll be happy to know that the National Paint, Varnish and Lacquer Association is still around. After a merger in 2010 with a like-minded organization, it's now called the American Coatings Association. I'll bet there's a p.r. guy in the ACA keeping a close eye on the movements of the Chinese Navy.
The film does take pains to point out that this advice is meant for suburban homeowners who live on the "outer fringes" of a target area. There is enough truth in the advice here -- paint your house white to reflect heat, keep your grounds free of trash and clutter to prevent the spread of fire -- that the casual viewer of the 1950s might begin to think seriously about doing a little maintenance work. It was not enough to urge people to keep things neat and tidy because, well, they really should; the National Paint, Varnish and Lacquer Association clearly felt that homeowners had to be scared into doing so. I wonder if it worked?
You'll be happy to know that the National Paint, Varnish and Lacquer Association is still around. After a merger in 2010 with a like-minded organization, it's now called the American Coatings Association. I'll bet there's a p.r. guy in the ACA keeping a close eye on the movements of the Chinese Navy.
Only the Dirty Die Young
Michael_Elliott29 December 2008
House in the Middle, The (1954)
** (out of 4)
The National Clean Up- Paint Up- Fix Up Bureau produced this documentary teaching people how to save their houses if an atomic blast was to take place. The Nevada Test Site is the setting for the short that shows various houses and how well they take an atomic blast. I'm really not sure how true the details provided in this short are but we're told that if you clean and paint your house then it won't be destroyed by an atomic blast. If you leave newspapers around your living room or trash bags by your house then you're going to die when the blast comes. Again, I'm not sure how true this research is but the short comes off as a neat freak trying to use an atomic scare to get his neighbors to clean up the yard. The film is rather boring in all of its tests but those who enjoy the atomic scare films should get a few laughs. Telling someone to mow their lawn before an atomic blast is pretty funny in its own right.
** (out of 4)
The National Clean Up- Paint Up- Fix Up Bureau produced this documentary teaching people how to save their houses if an atomic blast was to take place. The Nevada Test Site is the setting for the short that shows various houses and how well they take an atomic blast. I'm really not sure how true the details provided in this short are but we're told that if you clean and paint your house then it won't be destroyed by an atomic blast. If you leave newspapers around your living room or trash bags by your house then you're going to die when the blast comes. Again, I'm not sure how true this research is but the short comes off as a neat freak trying to use an atomic scare to get his neighbors to clean up the yard. The film is rather boring in all of its tests but those who enjoy the atomic scare films should get a few laughs. Telling someone to mow their lawn before an atomic blast is pretty funny in its own right.
Three little houses
Horst_In_Translation30 January 2018
Warning: Spoilers
"The House in the Middle" is an American 12-minute documentary short that shows us how effective housing in terms of cleanliness can help you in being prepared the best way possible in case America gets hit by a nuclear attack as back in 1954 2 World wars happened in the last 40 years, the Cold War was an imminent danger and after all it happened to Japan, so better be safe than sorry. A bit of a pity we don't have any names attached to this project, but the production company National Clean Up-Paint Up-Fix Up Bureau says perfectly how seriously you can take this bizarre little presentation. To me it felt like another adaptation of the Three Pigs vs. Big Bad Wolf story than a really politically motivated insightful work, but I never had the impression this was really an interesting, memorable or at least entertaining work. No clue why the National Film Registry decided to pick it up as really it cannot just be the political references about life in the 1950s. Don't watch.
Humanity runs on platitudes and drivel...
AlsExGal6 September 2015
Warning: Spoilers
... and this film is a big example of that. Small examples are when people ask "How are you?" and the only acceptable reply is "Fine, How are you?". It doesn't matter if your marriage is on the ropes or your parents are dying of cancer. The actual truth disrupts people's day. As for this film, I'm pretty much going to tell you all about it, but I don't think spoiler warnings are necessary on so-called public service information shorts.
The narrator shows three very small houses lined up in a row on the Nevada atomic proving grounds. One is in disrepair on the outside - not painted for a long time, no external maintenance at all. Another one looks fine on the outside, but has untidy housekeeping inside which amounts to lots of extra papers and things in disarray that can act as kindling. The "house in the middle" has none of these problems. It is well kept inside and out. Then a nuclear blast 15 miles away occurs. The narrator notes how the unpainted house burns first. The house with the untidy inside looks like it will escape burning, but then begins to blaze from the inside out. The "house in the middle" escapes burning to the ground, the narrator says, because of its well kept condition inside and out.
The narrator then encourages people to organize and go from neighborhood to neighborhood to clean up trash and encourages better housekeeping on the inside. He even instructs that people plant flowers around their house? Hey, won't plants act as kindling too? But I digress from what I think that the Federal Civil Defense Administration already knew - that good housekeeping and neighborhood clean-up efforts and gardening, just like duck and cover, are distractions to make people feel like they can actually do something to escape the certain death they would face if a nuclear blast ever hit anywhere near them. The lucky ones would die first, the unlucky ones would die a slow death of radiation poisoning or an even slower death from cancer years later, like almost the entire cast of 1956's "The Conqueror" which was filmed not long after the Atomic Bomb test in the Yucca Flats area. Merry Maids is not going to save you from the carnage of a nuclear attack. Recommended as a lesson in human nature.
The narrator shows three very small houses lined up in a row on the Nevada atomic proving grounds. One is in disrepair on the outside - not painted for a long time, no external maintenance at all. Another one looks fine on the outside, but has untidy housekeeping inside which amounts to lots of extra papers and things in disarray that can act as kindling. The "house in the middle" has none of these problems. It is well kept inside and out. Then a nuclear blast 15 miles away occurs. The narrator notes how the unpainted house burns first. The house with the untidy inside looks like it will escape burning, but then begins to blaze from the inside out. The "house in the middle" escapes burning to the ground, the narrator says, because of its well kept condition inside and out.
The narrator then encourages people to organize and go from neighborhood to neighborhood to clean up trash and encourages better housekeeping on the inside. He even instructs that people plant flowers around their house? Hey, won't plants act as kindling too? But I digress from what I think that the Federal Civil Defense Administration already knew - that good housekeeping and neighborhood clean-up efforts and gardening, just like duck and cover, are distractions to make people feel like they can actually do something to escape the certain death they would face if a nuclear blast ever hit anywhere near them. The lucky ones would die first, the unlucky ones would die a slow death of radiation poisoning or an even slower death from cancer years later, like almost the entire cast of 1956's "The Conqueror" which was filmed not long after the Atomic Bomb test in the Yucca Flats area. Merry Maids is not going to save you from the carnage of a nuclear attack. Recommended as a lesson in human nature.
Brilliantly Funny
gavin694223 May 2016
Atomic tests at the Nevada Proving Grounds (later the Nevada Test Site) show effects on well-kept homes, homes filled with trash and combustibles, and homes painted with reflective white paint. Asserts that cleanliness is an essential part of civil defense preparedness and that it increased survivability.
Alright, so this was not supposed to be funny but was a real film created by the government to help prepare people for nuclear war. We know now (2016) that nuclear war never happened, and seems less likely now that it ever will (keeping in mind that America is protected by two large oceans). This film in unintentionally funny, because who could really believe a clean house was less likely to be destroyed? That makes even less sense than "duck and cover".
Alright, so this was not supposed to be funny but was a real film created by the government to help prepare people for nuclear war. We know now (2016) that nuclear war never happened, and seems less likely now that it ever will (keeping in mind that America is protected by two large oceans). This film in unintentionally funny, because who could really believe a clean house was less likely to be destroyed? That makes even less sense than "duck and cover".
Who Thought Of This?????
Calaboss31 August 2009
I'm not sure who in the movie business went all ape-crap in the mid 50's, but somebody sure did. My god, why did anyone think this was a good idea? Fascinating and funny, it makes you wonder how we even got past slavery. There is not much to say about this except, DAMN!
Paint your house, or die! Nice message. Can't imagine who sponsored it (Sherwin Williams, perhaps?). The point of this 13 minute short seems to be that we should paint and keep our houses clean, so that our homes can survive a nuclear attack, even if we don't. Perhaps the commies put this film out, so that they would have somewhere nice to stay when they nuked us and came over here and took over.
Being born in the 50's myself, I try to give a break to the stupidity of the era, but this load of a movie short is just indefensible. The 50's equivalent of the government telling us to buy duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect us against terrorist attacks in the 21st century.
Oh, BTW, don't miss it. Funny stuff.
Paint your house, or die! Nice message. Can't imagine who sponsored it (Sherwin Williams, perhaps?). The point of this 13 minute short seems to be that we should paint and keep our houses clean, so that our homes can survive a nuclear attack, even if we don't. Perhaps the commies put this film out, so that they would have somewhere nice to stay when they nuked us and came over here and took over.
Being born in the 50's myself, I try to give a break to the stupidity of the era, but this load of a movie short is just indefensible. The 50's equivalent of the government telling us to buy duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect us against terrorist attacks in the 21st century.
Oh, BTW, don't miss it. Funny stuff.
Proof that government is completely full of shyytt.
ArtVandelayImporterExporter15 January 2022
Boys and girls of America, we face a grave threat from those g0dless c0mmies in the Soviet Union. Don't believe us? Watch as we nuke this fake street of houses in the middle of the Nevada Desert, just down the way from where Hollywood hero John Wayne is shooting his latest blockbuster.
Now watch as the dumpy house surrounded by trash on the right burns to the ground almost immediately. Meanwhile, the place on the left takes a bit longer but it, too, eventually burns down as its delapidated wood ignites. The good news is that the well-kept, freshly painted house in the middle - full of g0d-fearing white Christians who refrain from s3xual relations until they are married - remains standing.
Remember America, c0mmunism is evil. So get out there and paint your house.
This film brought to you by the Department of Civil Defense. Sponsored by Big Paint.
Now watch as the dumpy house surrounded by trash on the right burns to the ground almost immediately. Meanwhile, the place on the left takes a bit longer but it, too, eventually burns down as its delapidated wood ignites. The good news is that the well-kept, freshly painted house in the middle - full of g0d-fearing white Christians who refrain from s3xual relations until they are married - remains standing.
Remember America, c0mmunism is evil. So get out there and paint your house.
This film brought to you by the Department of Civil Defense. Sponsored by Big Paint.
Not Since Reefer Madness....
uncatema29 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
...has this writer laughed hard at a so called PSA film. Not funny as RM but it's still hilarious.
One writer mentioned sprucing up the house before the nuclear holocaust.
That's the kind of sense of humor this film engages. For that I give it a 10.
One writer mentioned sprucing up the house before the nuclear holocaust.
That's the kind of sense of humor this film engages. For that I give it a 10.
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