Deliver Us from Eva (2003)

Gabrielle Union: Evangeline 'Eva' Dandrige

Photos 

Quotes 

• Oscar : I don't understand you. Why do you have to be so GODDAMNED UNCOMPROMISING?

  Eva : It's called principle, Oscar. Maybe the world is in short supply, but I am NOT. See, people pay their tax dollars for MY PRINCIPLE so they can go into a restaurant and not eat chicken-fried RAT, or bite into a bacon, lettuce and tomaine sandwich. If I slack up on you then I have to cut EVERYONE a break. And pretty soon, the almonds on you salad have LEGS. If that makes me UNCOMPROMISING, then I wear it as a badge of honor cuz I'm in DAMN GOOD COMPANY! Martin Luther King was uncompromising, Nelson Mandela was uncompromising, and I'm sure your MOTHER was uncompromising, although the evidence of that is not apparent today. So... why don't you think of me as your Mom right now. And Momma says, "CLEAN IT UP!"

  Eva : [after shocking Oscar]  See you in 48 hours.

• Eva : This is not about a book versus a football game fellas, oh no, this about men versus women. Women who aspire to culture, and men who aspire to scratch themselves. Women who bear the burdens in life and men who create those burdens. Women who uplift humanity, and men who uplift lap dances. If society left to the whims of men we'd still be in caves carving pictures with our non aposable thumbs. So today, gentlemen, is the day for civilized behavior. Today we women raise our voices against tyrrany, crudeness and playoff games. And that is it gentlemen, end of story THE FAT LADY SINGETH! Out of the room. By the way if any of that was lost upon you then Ive just proven my point again. hmm?

• Eva : How much did they pay you?

  Ray : Eva, that's not...

  Eva : HOW MUCH?

  Ray : $5000 - but I'm giving it back to them...

  Eva : [punches Ray]  You are exactly the person I thought you were.

• Darrell : Don't mind us. We're just having sex.

  Eva : Oh so I should come back in, what, two minutes?

• Eva : We went back to my place for a nice, respectable evening... And-then-we-burned-a-hole-in-the-floor!

• Eva : Did I hurt you?

  Ray : Yeah... But I liked it.

• Eva : Holy Mother of God!

  Ray : [on horse in building lobby]  HEY EVA!

• Eva : You three have yet to feel my rage.

• Eva : You know, let's do something you want to do.

  Ray : Anything?

  Eva : Yeah - Sure.

• Eva : If I don't leave right now I'm gonna start saying all kinds of hot, nasty, dirty things.

• Eva : Who told you I like lilies?

  Ray : Sometimes a man gets lucky.

• Eva : [nonchalantly]  If food isn't prepared right your throat could close up and you'll drown on your own vomit.

• Eva : Oh what, you don't want Kareenah to make a good impression on the book club?

  Tim : No.

  Kareenah : Excuse me?

  Tim : Yes.

• Eva : That's it, gentleman. End of story. The fat lady singeth!

• Eva : So why don't you think about that the next time you are toting around a pig's ass.

• Eva : So what is it that you do again?

  Ray : I deliver meat.

• Eva : Oh! One car breaks down, you just hop into another?

• Eva : This is what you drive when you take a woman out?

  Ray : It's clean and it's free.

  Ray : [pauses]  I'm saving to buy a house.

• Eva : Just drive your meat wagon.

• Ray : You're just a civil servant, not the FBI.

  Eva : Well excuse the hell out of me.

• Ray : I can't do this...

  Eva : The bulge in your pants didn't get that memo, so...

• Darrell : Look, we were here FIRST, Eva!

  Eva : Yes! Sure but the temporal proximity of our advent isn't determitive, IS IT?

  Darrell : [pauses]  I'll get BACK to you on that one!

  Eva : YEAH!

  Darrell : [under his breath to Timothy]  Cuz I don't know WHAT she just said.

• Michael 'Mike' : You don't get to me with your 50 DOLLAR words, Eva. Now what would you say if we DEMANDED that you leave the room?

  Eva : I would say that I find your particular brand of CRACK very amusing!