Death Train (2003 Video) User Reviews

A Disaster Movie In More Ways Than One

[Theo Robertson · 2/10 · 13 July 2003]

Many of the characters in DEATH TRAIN are just like the ones you`d see in a disaster movie : The young pretty attendant , the young couple in love , the young crippled boy and the man of god . There`s a couple in nuns in there too and I was expecting them to pull out a guitar and give a singalong but fortunately this doesn`t happen . Unfortunately this doesn`t stop DEATH TRAIN from being a bad movie .

As everyone else has noticed ( And unless you`re blind , deaf and dumb it`s impossible not to notice ) DEATH TRAIN is more or less a DIE HARD clone set on a train except it doesn`t have any brain or intentional humour to it . There are laughs of course but I don`t think they were actually in the script . Remember that NAKED GUN film where Frank and the bad guy are shooting at one another behind the bin - the same bin ? well there`s a couple of sequences like that where the hero is in a gun battle with the bad guys and no matter how close they are no one gets shot , at least not untill the script requires someone to die . Plus the film is full of entirely dumb bits like hostages trying to jump the baddies only for them to be shot , this happens several times in fact which led me to ask what on earth made the hostages want to be dead heroes for ? Without doubt the dumbest bit of the film is when the hostages are left unguarded and none of them think about jumping off the train , a train that`s only going 20 mph , this isn`t a continuity error as someone commented , the action switches to the train cab and you can clearly see the speedometer that reads 20 mph

Despite not liking this film I guess it could have been worse - It could have used scenes from UNDER SIEGE 2

Die Hard on a Train.

[JoeytheBrit · 3/10 · 1 March 2003]

With a budget of $27.00, by the looks of it.

Ok, it's only March but I'm willing to guarantee this will be the worst movie I see this year (Christ, I hope it is!)

It's obvious the makers of this flick looked at the basic premise and format from DIE HARD, and simply transferred it onto a train, believing that all they then had to do was have the good guy and bad guys shooting at each other for 90 minutes and the magic (and profit) of DIE HARD would be repeated. Wrong. DIE HARD was a successful fusion of blockbuster spectacle and sublime classical narrative that has yet to be repeated, whereas DEATH ON A TRAIN is just a bunch of bad actors shooting at each other.

The acting in this movie is terrible throughout, although it is difficult to see how even an accomplished actor could make anything of the cliched, expletive-strewn lines this lot are forced to utter. Bryan Genesse, as our hero, flits around in a long leather coat for the duration - he looks very cool, but it's hardly the attire of choice for an action hero repeatedly clambering over a train. He is also as bad a shot as the villains - the movie is crammed with interminable gunfights in which nobody fires anywhere near their opponent. And Bentley Mitchum, looking a bit like a chubby Tim Curry, is simply horrible as the villain. So over the top is his performance, it has a dreadful sort of fascination that compels you to keep watching until the bitter end, just to see how much worse his over-acting can get.

If you value your sanity steer clear of this movie.

"If you think we're flying, you're wrong"

[The_Phantom_Projectionist · 3/10 · 21 March 2016]

I don't mean to bum anyone out right at the beginning of a review, but this is a pretty sucky movie. Sucky on the point of being dreadful. Produced during that period in the early 2000s when the Nu Image studio couldn't make a good movie for neither love nor money, it's an annoying exercise in mundanity. Nearing the end of his career as an action hero, lead star Bryan Genesse does what little he can to make this one stand out but only manages to save it from a rock-bottom rating.

The story: When a gang of arrested thieves (led by Bentley Mitchum) takes over the train transporting them to prison and makes hostages of the passengers, it's up to their captor (Genesse) to end the crisis.

The film was probably made under very limited means, as evidenced by the frequent use of stock footage. The exterior shots of the train are taken from a movie shot in British Columbia, and seeing the filmmakers try to pass off this landscape as the Mexican countryside is kinda goofy. So is the casting: like many Nu Image flicks, this one's supporting roles are predominantly played by Bulgarian performers, and if you think it's been interesting listening to East Europeans fake English dialogue, just wait 'til you hear 'em speaking Spanish. Before long, it seems too much to take for even the producers, who end up dubbing most of the Spanish. Disappointingly, they did not dub Bentley Mitchum's lines. Mitchum is a fair character actor but his performance here is atrocious. The screenplay is clearly going the "crazy dangerous" route with its villain, but this comes across as irredeemably annoying, with Mitchum spewing adolescent threats and insults while largely failing at being intimidating.

Even though the movie makes a point of focusing on various hostages who don't actually affect the story too much, one guy who doesn't get much of a personality at all is the hero. When he first appeared, I thought Bryan Genesse was a side character because of his lack of charisma, and he never gains any throughout the runtime. Genesse was apparently on board with the movie, performing his own stunts while running across and hopping about the moving train, but he's just so generic here that the role could have been played by anybody. This homogeny carries over to the action content, which is comprised mainly of shootouts and a few explosions. Genesse only has two fight scenes, and while the brawl with Mitchum came as a surprise for being anything other than dismal, they're not worth talking about.

DEATH TRAIN doesn't bear thinking about too much: I get grumpy about having wasted my money and want to rate it even lower. I can't recommend it to anyone, and hope that it only finds its way into the hands of its particular niche audience – whoever that may include.

Oh dear!

[andy-486 · 1/10 · 13 January 2003]

This is quite simply one of the worst films ever made. It has no plot, it has no acting, or plain overacting. It has guns with limitless ammo and people who can carry limitless ammo clips.

But the very very worst thing - there was not one, single, tiny bit of continuity anywhere in the film. Ine some of the scenes the train was quite clearly standing still, not even moving, yet seconds later it was thundering at high speed over a bridge, next moment it was crawling along slowly in the mountains.

I didn't watch the credits, but I have to assume there was no continuity editor listed simply because a blind man could do better.

Horrific

[philly-d · 1/10 · 25 May 2003]

This is possibly the most horrific film in history. (Maybe even worse than 'The Mummy Returns')

The special effects looked like they were compiled in Microsoft Paint. Horrendous. The acting was incredible. The thought that these people were actually being paid for this is incredible. The gun fights were about as sharp as Ade Akinbiyi's shooting, were they actually pretending to aim for people or aiming to miss?

Could they not afford extras? One moment there were three people sat in the back of a carraige and within minutes all the "terrorists" had forgotten they were there.

And what was with the mexican train driver? Surely this was a joke. Or do all mexican train drivers listen to that music whilst swigging tequila?

This was entertaining, almost as entertaining as guessing where the train would be in the next scene. Speeding across a bridge, rolling into a station, standing still in the middle of the woods?

Film 101: How not to do it

[duvel71 · 1/10 · 28 January 2005]

This movie is so bad, it's actually quite astonishing. There is not a single aspect that isn't dreadful. The script is shocking and low-grade porn actors deliver their dialogue more convincingly. The acting is stilted and staged across the board. The lame attempts at humour are easily missed, but you can spot them by noting when you cringe. The action scenes look so fake they're distracting, the sound production is terrible, and the special effects are even worse. I'm afraid I can't say much about the plot, since I'm not enough of a masochist to force myself to watch it with that much attention.

This would score high if it was a case study in how not to make a movie. It has all the elements that make a bad movie dreadful. How so many bad actors, directors, producers, cameramen, sound technicians and effects designers managed to converge on one place, we'll never know. It isn't even funny-bad. It's an ordeal. DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM. You have been warned.

What, it won't let me vote this zero? Awww...

Weak as an Action Movie, Terrific as a Campy Cult Movie

[Nick_Dets · 4 January 2009]

Bryan Genesse's charms aren't dissimilar to his more mainstream meatheaded counterparts Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Seagal etc. He's got the necessary brawn and martial arts finesse and surprising watchability despite having very little appeal. What makes or breaks the vehicles he stars in are first and foremost the writer and director.

Unfortunately for Genesse, he doesn't have the collaboration of solid directors like Peter Hyams ("Timecop") or Ringo Lam ("Maximum Risk," "Replicant"). His best film that I've seen is "Human Timebomb," where the real points are earned with the balls-out action sequences that are undeniably fun even when they have the lowest of production values. That director, Mark Roper, shows skill at giving B-movie productions big, well-constructed sequences, but God help him if the script has too much dialogue.

Yossi Wein, who served as cinematographer for Genesse's "Cold Harvest" and "Traitor's Heart", tries to bring similar sensibilities to the 2002 Nu Image flick "Death Train". It starts off with a slam-bang train heist sequence that finds all in top form. From the first ten minutes, Wein shows skill at keeping the action coherent and at least marginally expensive-looking. Genesse doesn't need to bring much more than brawn in this one, and keeps the cringe-worthy wisecracks to a minimum –in comparison to his other performances anyway.

Unfortunately, there is not much more to be found after the competent opener besides loads of camp and unintentional humor. The villain Weaver, played by Bentley Mitchum, is anything but threatening, only memorable for some downright weird lines. There is way too much talking and not enough challenging complications to keep the film moving after the beginning. In fact, Genesse seems to be doing pointless acrobatic maneuvers along the train cars for most of the second act, which Wein unwisely uses to supplement action. When the action does come, it is usually pretty sloppy – like a shootout in the cafeteria car that plays more like an amateur action scene staged by third graders.

Things do come together somewhat in the end, with a decently-choreographed showdown between Genesse and Mitchum (if you ignore one extremely lazy somersault by Genesse). However, the resolution has some bizarre details that should not be given away, because they are probably the biggest laughs one will have in the whole movie.

Camp value seems to be the most redeeming factor about this B-movie, and in that department it consistently delivers. If it could have delivered some good action among the camp, it would have been in better form. But, as any B-movie buffs knows well, asking for both is asking for too much.

Irredemably bad, awful, horrible, lousy, no-good, worthless, evil...

[ye_river_xiv · 1/10 · 9 August 2006]

No words can describe the utter wrongness of this film. I bought this film for exactly 99 cents, for the simple reason that my father is obsessed with trains. Otherwise, I would have not even touched the cover.

Like all Hollywood train movies, this one suffers from several common failings which even an uncritical eye can perceive. Old style steam locomotives mix with state of the art diesel locomotives. Freight cars get plunked into the middle of a train with passenger cars on either side, flat cars get loaded up in such a way that they will be perfectly organized to film a fight scene on them, the trains change the number, and order of the cars on them so many times that nobody can say for certain which train is which...

The movie also has the common failings of any bad budget movie: Model scenes that look faker than my dad's undecorated model train layout, bad acting, scantily clad women milling about in unrealistic locations, male movie stars that do nothing but stare at scantily clad women in the most obvious possible ways, just in case the viewer didn't notice them. There are also fight scenes that look exactly like grown men reenacting showdown scenes from "The Karate Kid." The acting is stupendously bad. People shake, and drool for no apparent reason. The dialog is as bad as the acting. No, I stand corrected, the dialog worse. I envy the gentleman who saw it with the Spanish voice overs, because they at least did not have to hear how bad the dialog is.

As a matter of fact, the horrible, truly awful, wretched dialog is so bad that it can almost be appreciated for its own merit in the field of "campiness." I believe the first word in the film is a shouted "FUCK!" The other line of dialog that stands out in my mind is "It's a Choo-choo." a statement which is uttered by a thoroughly serious police detective character. Quite possibly the best character in the movie is a drunk Mexican train operator, who spends all of five minutes in the film listening to music while holding a bottle of tequila on his shoulder. He has no lines, and does nothing else but look up in surprise.

Looks like a Russian Junior High project

[dzug15 · 1/10 · 11 March 2007]

How this made it to DVD is an amazing accomplishment. How it made it to my DVD collection is an embarrassment. How it made it to my garbage can ? Well, just watch it. The villain swears every other word. Sometimes back-to-back words. Is this supposed to make him scary or intimidating ? Perhaps it is to divert your attention from the bad acting, terrible dialog and simple plot. It doesn't do that either. I really only watched the movie because I thought Jaime Anstead was cute and sexy in "The Backlot Murders", but was disappointed again with her small unflattering role. The only entertainment I got was laughing at the absurdity, in particular, when the main villain was eating chips during a frantic shootout. In summary, this "movie" lacks everything a real movie needs. Hopefully I wasted my time so you won't.

Bad..bad..bad

[eddyb · 1/10 · 29 April 2003]

This movie was terrible. I can't believe I sat through it all. I'm ranking it down there with Basket Case 3. So many screw ups that after awhile I started to wonder if they watched the movie after making the final cut to make sure no screw ups were left. Yes folks, it's that bad.

Agghhh Not Again

[waddel · 1/10 · 31 January 2005]

Even 1 was too high. I was in South America, Peru on a bus ride and what move was presented for our viewing pleasure. DEATH TRAIN. I was shocked to learn that the movie making part of humanity could create such a calamity. It was dubbed in Spanish but the plot transparencies were still very apparent. Finally it came to an end. A friend I was traveling with at the time asked the bus driver for another movie a different one with English subtitles. The bus driver said sure no problem for you my friend. To my horror and to the dismay of all the passengers on the bus the driver started death train again, the same version that just finished, the same bad story, still dubbed in Spanish. When it finally ended the second time my friend kindly kept his mouth shut and never requested another film on any other bus ride for fear of seeing death train again. Do not watch this film in South America or on any other continent.

Honestly? It wasn't that bad...

[D'Amico · 8/10 · 8 January 2006]

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't Oscar-caliber either, but it wasn't bad. Basically, it's like watching Under Siege meets Broken Arrow meets 'insert cheesy train movie here'. It was rather disappointing, in a way, to not see Genesse do a few more of the martial arts moves he made his name for, but hey, we take what we can get. Then again, this film was overall a disappointment for anyone who is a fan of Genesse. While normally a good actor, the character was written so badly it was actually painful.

The movie has it's problems, I don't deny that, but as a low budget action, it's not half bad. The only truly sad thing was that the villain was far more interesting than the hero. None of the characters really had a personality (saving the creepy little guy with the coke bottle glasses that he so obviously did not need), but it was an amusing way to spend 94 minutes.

What it boiled down to for me, in the end, was that this was another film from Nu Image. They're relatively cheap to make, usually have some decent actors (Bentley Mitchum got my nod here -- Bryan Genesse's character had so little personality it's impossible to rate him in this movie), and generally prove to be amusing enough to be able to enjoy a re-watch. Actually, they're the kind of films that get better with a re-watch.

I paid $4.99 for it. I got my money's worth.

Death Train

[kairingler · 6/10 · 7 July 2013]

it just irks the heck out of me when people expect something so much more than what is presented,, first off this film didn't have a Hollywood budget okay folks with that in mind I believe they were lucky to get Bryan Genese who did a nice job. the action in this movie was excellent to me, especially the opening train heist sequence. I will have to watch this again soon so I can go into some more details as it's been a few years since I've seen this, but what I do remember is that I loved all the action on the train, always been fascinated with trains ever since I was little. I think that this was meant to be a "b " action movie,, just like those "b" horror movies of the 1950's, I just don't get why people seem to love to bash this movie so much, I really liked it.

Which Train Where???

[pvandyk · 5/10 · 16 September 2007]

Agreeing with most existing comments on this movie to date, I noticed some gross discontinuities from the perspective of a train enthusiast. This movie seemed to portray an European mixed train with a diesel locomotive, but several scenes definitely seem to be shot in South Africa. A South African Co-Co diesel (looking very different to the European center-cab diesel) was employed. In some of the SA scenes old suburban coaches were used and in others modern sleeper coaches were utilized. Especially note the composition of the train crossing the very high steel trestle bridge. The steam engine looked like a 4-8-2 type 19D. At least the color scheme of the coaches was red and white for both continents!

Lesser Nu Image movie

[Wizard-8 · 1 February 2011]

I am only guessing when I say this, but I think that this particular Nu Image movie was formed with the producers saying to the writer, "We have a lot of stock footage from past Nu Image movies. Write a screenplay that will enable us to use all of it." I say this, because DEATH TRAIN is just *packed* with obvious stock footage. Not only did I recognize some of the footage from other Nu Image movies, but the stock footage often does not match the newly shot footage! (The bulk of the movie was shot in Bulgaria, while the stock footage came from movies shot in South Africa.) With such laziness and cost-cutting, it shouldn't come as a surprise that the rest of the movie is very lacking. Bryan Genesse is very bland as the hero. And even though these bad guys are a lot more sadistic than you usually get in movies like this, they are otherwise lacking a lot of color as well. The action is mostly dull shootings, not taking any real inspiration from the source material, UNDER SIEGE 2. And while the movie is taking place in Mexico, there is only one character in the entire movie that looks Mexican. While I did stay to the end because I was curious as to how things would be wrapped up, I can tell you that the payoff is definitely not worth slogging through all the cheap and uninspired events happening before it.

"Remind me to buy you twenty dresses of the same fabric"

[hwg1957-102-265704 · 5/10 · 16 January 2022]

It's very similar to 'Die Hard' but set on a train or 'Under Siege' but set on a train or 'Under Siege 2 Dark Territory' but set on a train. Oh sorry, that one was set on a train. Our undeveloped hero Ryan is on a train where prisoners he had captured before are also travelling. The prisoners escape and our hero goes up and down the train killing them off. It's not that exciting. Ryan is played stolidly by Bryan Genesse and Bentley Mitchum as the chief villain Weaver has all the menace of a gerbil. The other cast members are generally forgettable. The train sometimes looks short and other times really long as Ryan treks his way through it which makes the movie rather laughable.

Yawn

[bonthuis · 2/10 · 30 March 2008]

A waste of time indeed, terribly bad villains, people get shot and no blood flows. Ryan walks over the train and only one passenger hears him. A thin wooden bar offers enough protection against a machine gun. A pregnant woman, a priest,always good for the sake of emotion. By the end another big goof with the train on the bridge, with the imminent collision: Weaver is lying on an open train wagon at about the end of the train, then the train is filmed with only closed wagons but when the train collides, the first wagon is open again. For the rest, not even worth mentioning, it's more exciting to play a shoot-em-up computer game.

Worse than the other reviewers said

[johnwalkernc · 1/10 · 7 April 2019]

As a train buff, that's what I focus on ... so we start out with a train with UP locomotives that switch to BNSF locos that add old ATSF Warbonnet units aling the way ... and turn into a Rio Grande unit after the derailment. I quit at that point. HORRIBLY BAD MOVIE IN ALL ASPECTS!

Death Train is...wait for it...a trainwreck.

[tarbosh22000 · 3/10 · 23 January 2020]

When an annoying baddie named Weaver (Mitchum) and his gang of stereotype thugs (there's a nerd, a woman, etc.) hijack a train, all hell breaks loose. They want to steal some diamonds and maybe shoot some hostages along the way. Stopping them from getting away is a man named Ryan (Genesse), a rogue agent of some law enforcement variety or other. He wears a long leather duster coat in the hot Bulgarian weather and he never runs out of ammo for his gun. Will he save the stereotype hostages (there's a priest, a pregnant woman, etc.) and bring the baddies to justice? Has Ryan finally met his match with Weaver? And do you really care? We're talkin' Death Train here...

We never thought we would ever say this, but we finally found a movie that made us miss Derailed (2002). Death Train, sadly, has a lot of strikes against it: it came out in 2003, a death time for DTV, it's one of the lesser Nu Image throwaways, there's nil character development so you don't care what's going on, the movie is chock full of one-dimensional, stereotype characters, and on the whole it adds nothing new to the Die Hard/hostage genre and there are no surprises whatsoever.



Instead of Derailed's Van Damme, we have Bryan Genesse as our main hero. During the first half of the movie, he looks like a cross between Brendan Fraser and Jason Bateman. Bizarrely, during the second half he metamorphosizes into Daniel Baldwin. Just weird. As his bad-guy foil, Bentley Mitchum truly resembles David Cross. He even seems to take on some Cross-isms in his speech patterns as well. Just why we're supposed to find a David Cross lookalike intimidating as an evildoer in any way remains unknown as of today.



On top of all this muck, we have a mish-mash of mismatched train footage, culled from such movies as Danger Zone (1996) - remember Robert Downey Junior's classic line from that one - Operation Delta Force (1997), Sweepers (1998), and City of Fear (2000). Nu Image must really like trains. Any episode of Thomas the Tank Engine is more compelling than this. It truly is a train slog.

Yes, there is an exploding helicopter, lots of shooting, and some beat-ups, but those elements alone do not a good movie make. There are some unintentionally funny parts as well. Those are some of the nicest things we can say about Death Train. We always try to see the positive, but this is really straining us. The movie needed a Wesley Snipes or a Kely McClung - somebody with some interest or charisma to keep things on track. Pun intended.



Not to be confused with the Arnold Vosloo Death Train (2005), if you're looking for a train-based action movie, do watch or re-watch Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995). Death Train is...wait for it...a trainwreck.

this movie sucks ass!

[Dangerous_Lee_Handsome · 1/10 · 15 March 2006]

I saw this movie on the Spanish network Telefutura and without knowing a single word anyone was saying (it was dubbed into Spanish), I immediately remembered that I had already seen this movie some years before. It was a waaaaaaay better movie starring a not so great, out of work, washed up action star named Stevn Seagal. As a matter of fact, this movie is just a blatant rip-off of 'Under Siege 2', a movie I actually like. It's basically a B-movie remake of a superior studio produced B-movie....which was a sequel to another B-movie. Seagal's 'Under Siege' films have become classics in their own right partly due to the fact that he actually used to be a star. But who the hell are these people anyways? Really, tell me...I don't know! Maybe if I cared to do my research I would know. But frankly, I just don't give a crap. This movie isn't worth my time and it ain't worth yours. 'Death Train' is dead on the tracks. Maybe it will be on Telefutura again. Wanna check it out? At least it's free and you can change the channel.

Fun, Silly, entertaining

[sexxxy_one35 · 9/10 · 4 March 2003]

I am having trouble reading the other user comments and not laughing. This movie was obviously not meant to be taken seriously. It is a straight to video movie, what do you expect? There is action, comedy and fun. Brian Genesse is okay as the good guy but a little boring. Bentley Mitchum is over the top... Thank GOD! He is what makes you keep watching the movie. With out his grand performance, the movie may have put everyone to sleep. Jaime Anstead once again turns in a solid performance as Marina, the only one with a level head on the entire Train. Plus, she is just as beautiful as ever (Back lot murders)!. This movie is not to be taken so seriously, it is a fun B-movie and that is how it should be viewed. Otherwise, go re-rent Die Hard. This movie in truth is fun, silly, and entertaining... Lighten up scrooges... It's only a movie. Have fun, laugh, and be mindlessly entertained for 90 minutes.

Review from a layman

[terence_fenn · 13 January 2003]

Hammy acting and non-personality stereotypes proliferate to the end. It really should have been made as a cartoon . Not to mention the mini sub-plots borrowed from a dozen different disaster movies. That's half the problem - it started off as an interesting little action/crime film, but quickly degenerated into a disaster picture. Still, since I was smoking a spliff at the time, I at least had a good laugh out of it.

This train don't stop here anymore......I hope!!

[sandr79 · 14 May 2006]

Have not seen deathtrain in full myself just a clip but my fiancée has had the total misfortune of wasting 93 minutes of her life sat in shock in front of the TV in utter amazement of a film that sounds like it had a budget less than the small change you would find in a homeless mans pee stained pants!! cant wait to watch the movie, but seriously guys how could this film have been made without somebody on the crew not killing themselves or the rest of the crew as its enough to drive you insane just watching a three minuet trailer. talking of trailers must have been where they found most of the cast, drinking hooch wrapped in brown paper bags on the front porch of the local heroin addiction drop in centre. will add more comments when i have seen the infamous blockbusting deathtrain for myself!!