The Bog Creatures (2003) User Reviews

Stupid

[wolf_rahm · 3/10 · 5 June 2005]

I saw this movie yesterday on a public service channel. They had advertised it as an awful movie, and so I was drawn to see it, and I was not let down.

A group of 18-19 year old go to an excavation site at an old viking castle in Denmark, to try to uncover the myth of the Berserker vikings. Strange things happens: something is in the forest, and people start disappearing.

The main thing about this movie that really bothers me, is that the story is supposed to take place in Denmark, where I happen to live. There were so many places in the movie where the Hollywood-style overlapped danish reality. It really made the acting and drama look ridiculous in my eyes.

You never see the characters interact with any of their surroundings. Its feels like a mini-Hollywood in Denmark, and it takes away the credibility of the movie. When at one point you hear someone speak "old danish", it sounds exactly like modern day Swedish. Really bad research, considering the director is from Denmark.

The characters in the movie used GPS and maps, and that's really funny, since Denmark is about the size of your backyard. Nomatter where you are, there is never more than 50 km to the sea, and 500 meters to civilization. And if you are at a castle, there are going to be tourists everywhere. We see a lot of overviews of forests in the movie, and sometimes, we see what appears to be North American vegetation(?) The story did not exactly appeal to me, maybe because the acting was so bad. When the characters see the bog creatures for the first time, they are not even scared. I guess their acting skills were insufficient to display realistic emotions. At the end, there is an unexpected twist, but it didn't impress me, since I didn't really care.

The bog creatures are cheap, but they had the potential to be scary. Unfortunately, they fail, since we get a good look at them standing in the forest when the characters arrive at the castle. Also, there are no really scary scenes, since the Bog Creatures are mostly just standing around.

Anyway, conclusion: Disregarding the facts, the movie is your typical B-horror flick. I guess people from other countries can enjoy it more. As long as you are unaware of reality, it doesn't matter. Just like I think of USA as one big action movie set, everyone else can think of Denmark as a forest with a castle.. and some living-dead people in a bog..

Reminds you of a high-school video project

[jstoddard97 · 5/10 · 15 March 2003]

Well, to spoil it all for you... the only nudity is in the first 15 seconds or so. And you see exactly what the bog "creatures" look like about 5 minutes later. There was no suspense, and I think it would be way out of line to call this a "horror" flick. Some good points... the acting was decent, and some parts were quite humorous. My favorite part was the ending... Get through all of it, and you'll know what I mean. Bottom line? Not completely terrible, but not really too watchable, either. 5/10 from me...

A pretty good rental

[billybrown41 · 20 March 2003]

We rented this one because we pretty much knew it would suck and we figured either way, it would be fun. Anyway, last night, I finally got around to watching it and I was kind of surprised that it turned out to be somewhat watchable. The plot (what little there is) concerns a group of misfit teens being "selected" to go out and dig for junk where a bunch of "bog people" once lived. Once some corpses uhm, I mean artifacts are discovered, weird stuff starts to happen. That's it. Since we learn jack-all about the characters, you will not care about one single person here. There is no gore whatsoever and the creature (zombie) effects are pretty damn cheesy. Did you ever watch that show that used to play on Nickelodeon called "Are You Afraid Of The Dark"? Well, if you can remember back that far to what those effects looked like with all the fake fog and whatnot, then you can get a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. It's on the same level.

Now, I just watched this last night and the only character that I even came close to liking was the guy who swallowed a pair of panties (!). I do remember a couple of cute girls running around (Don't get excited. There's no real nudity to speak of) and there was this guy who looked like he was trying to be a body double for Tommy Lee. His faux tough-guy persona was fun times. There was also this guy with a weird accent that showed up close to the beginning then just disappeared. That's too bad. He was funny. All in all, it's a pretty decent effort that makes good use of its low-budget (although, not nearly as well as "In The Woods").

I think the coolest part of the Dvd was the "making of" that was tacked on. Here, we get to go behind the scenes and meet the director. He's a pretty likeable guy with some interesting things to say. He gives us his definition of "guerilla film-making" and we learn about how the idea for the story was conceived.

If you're into b-horror, you may want to give this one a look. It's (if nothing else) worth a rental and the premise of a Viking/horror movie is actually kind of original in this day and age.

crap crap crap

[mizzking · 1/10 · 3 October 2003]

********SPOILER ALERT************** Wasted 85 minutes of my life watching this "film". first of all, we think it is hilarious that the producer cameoed in the film as the autopsy doctor with a horrible unbelieveably unbelievable accent -- what the hell was that anyway, romanian? And how is it that in Denmark no one speaks danish except the bog creatures? (Note, the scottish camp director...). ? And who does the shopping for the bog creatures? Their pants looked like they were purchased at Banana Republic. Very nicely dressed for being 1200 years old. This one was worse than Scarecrow Slayer (we didn't think that was even POSSIBLE). We basically fast forwarded through 75% of the movie looking for any gore/death/scary moments. None found. Do rent the DVD just to watch the 2 hour "Behind the Scenes of Bog Creatures" featurette. Who are these people? Are they serious? And the filmmakers are like 60 years old. I think this is their holy grail and that's pathetic enough in and of itself.

BEST LINE from the movie, hands down: "Not bad for a girl who never even went to graduate school...." My blind grandma who has alzheimers could make a better movie.

This is no Horror flick

[bjqrn1911 · 1/10 · 4 June 2005]

Laughed my ass off but probably because I was stoned. That aside ... this is in no way a horror movie, there is no horror whatsoever in this entire movie and the plot holes are so huge that even a below average IQ person would think it was stupid. On top of that, I am living in Denmark and have been for all my life and can assure you that Denmark is way too small a country that you need GPSS and maps to find your way back if you got lost. I would estimate that unless you really put an effort into it you could never be farther away from town or other people than maximum 3 hours on foot. Secondly I don't think any part of the movie, apart from two shots from Copenhagen where none of the actors were in, were actually taped in Denmark. The bog woman is talking Swedish not Danish. The helmet on the first bog body is brand new. The girl they find in the forest is hiding under a type of rock that does not exist in Denmark. This is just stupid.

Tolerable Throwback

[Steve_Nyland · 5/10 · 5 January 2014]

What we have here in BOG CREATURES is actually a decently made modern version of the C to Z grade creature feature thrillers of the 50s & 60s updated for the cell phone era. Which means nothing too remarkable in terms of plotting, acting, or execution. Sole purpose of the film is to part unwary viewers with 85 minutes of their time with relative ease and on as limited a budget as possible. The only attributes making it any different than HORROR OF PARTY BEACH or THE GIANT GILA MONSTER is some partial nudity during a flashback sequence and a squirm-inducing scene where the film's obnoxious horny pervert character stuffs a pair of ladies' knickers into his mouth. Ew.

One thing the movie does sort of have going for it is a admirable ambiguity as to just where on earth it was filmed. The plot is set in Norway with a visit to Amsterdam for an autopsy scene, but my eyes said Connecticut. Could be anywhere, really, giving fans of the movie something concrete to speculate over. Summer school for eager young filmmakers in Minnesota, perhaps. The cast also features attractive females in their 20s comfortable scampering around in their shorts & tank tops, including foxy Debbie Rochon beautifully spilling out of hers before she chews up the scenery with a burst of acting that none other in the cast can come close to. You can do worse with your time.

The premise also has some merit as well: Scandanavian peat field holds the corpses of several unfortunates thrown into what was once a bog to their fates, conjuring up images from old National Geographic magazines of mummified bog bodies. The corpses aren't happy about it and come back to a shuffling existence suitable for PG-13 rated fare. That they are depicted with low budget makeup effects consisting of muddy shawls & garlands of moss can't be held against the film, as it does not aspire to be an SFX study in rotting flesh, severed limbs and sexual violence. If anything it screams out as an attempt at a date movie rental with strong female roles, good looking semi-neutered guys handy for a body count who aren't as smart as the female lead, and a minimum of gratuity which might come off as sexist. She may think it's dumb but likely won't break it off over having agreed to watch it with you. Safe to rent.

Which unfortunately means that horror genre fans will likely find the results lacking in the sleaze, decadence and excess that the movies it resembles deliver. Consider THE EVIL DEAD with a PG rating, strip away its veneer of artistry, reign in the plot to remove anything too arresting and that's essentially what you get. For what its worth I'll confess to having sort of enjoyed watching it as well; wishing it had ended up as something else won't get us anywhere, and indeed there's room for another go at the motif if anybody is so inspired.

5/10

Excellent old-fashioned horror

[willywants · 8/10 · 24 May 2004]

A crew of young archaeology students embark on a journey to a mystical swamp in order to dig for the remains of the Bog People, an army of evil mutants. The swamp, whose waters hold supernatural powers, also harbors creatures who have been buried for hundreds of years, lying in wait to take over the world in an evil coup. One after the other, the students fall victim to to the horrid rituals of the mutants, leaving those who are left to fend for themselves against ancient warriors who plan to enslave the earth. Ignore every negative review you've seen bellow, this film is a great old-fashioned film in the vein of 'Zombie" and the old Hammer films. Granted, there was some so-so acting, some rather chintzy make-up effects and it was obviously shot-on-video, but it has many good things going for it as well, like an original premise, a surprise cameos by Debbie ronchon, a cool twist to the end and good writing (Considering the script was written in 5 days, according to the DVD). Don't let the stupid box cover fool you, this is one original and enjoyable horror outing. My rating for "Bog creatures": 8/10.

About the DVD: MTI Home Video has released a great DVD for us. Picture, considering the film was shot on video, is really pretty good--there is some expected grain and fuzzy colors, but skin tones are good and the print is bright. The audio is pretty poor though--I had to fool with the sound throughout the whole film to get adequate sound. We also get an excellent behind the scenes documentary, running about 30 minutes, which extensively covers the entire production. It's a great little documentary for young film makers, too. We also get 4 additional trailers for other MTI films. My rating for the DVD: 9/10.

Oddly enjoyable [minor spoilers]

[mswells · 14 November 2004]

It starts off looking like its going to be incredibly bad, with maybe a dozen poorly dressed 'viking berserkers' (One of whom is clearly wearing blue jeans) attack a castle filled with topless women. But then we get to the modern day, searching for and things get marginally better.

An archaeologist who has been laughed out of academia and his genius teenage sister have assembled a group of 5 grad students to go excavate a bog looking for proof of his theory about an ancient berserker cult.

It hangs together better than one might expect. The actors are terrible, and sometimes the dialogue gets into the wooden side of things, but then it goes and gets all logical. The students are written as both intelligent AND naive... And the kinda unhealthy relationship between the professor and his sister is both disturbing AND a plot element, oddly.

Weirdly, science is treated with respect by the script.

In short, its really not half bad. Its low budget, with all that implies, but I've seen much much worse.

BOGgie Nights

[donquixote-3 · 10/10 · 22 March 2003]

I checked out this flick knowing nothing about it in advance, so I kind of went in with no expectations... and I gotta say it turned out to be quite a little gem. I can only speak for my own personal taste about horror scene, but I thought it was a real throwback to the monster movies of old. And that may have to do with the lack of a hollywood budget to CGI the hell out of the "bog creatures" and everything else. The attractive cast does a good job of adding a unique flavor into what could've otherwise been yet another portrayal of the staple characters that we see time and again. Although there isn't an extreme amount of gore that really defines most other movies of this genre... cult status is a definite possibility.

As Bad as it Looks

[Nick_Dets · 31 August 2005]

Fans of generic fun will have a fun time with "The Bog Creatures" and self-righteous "film connoisseurs" will be offended. I'm a little of both, so I just may be a good source...

It starts out with a hopelessly low-budget medieval battle (My dear friend/generic film buff, who rented this one, noticed a "knight" wearing a striped T-shirt!). The lazy filmmakers pay no attention to detail and don't even attempt authenticity. The low-grade DV cinematography doesn't help, either. Fortunately, the movie slips into some campy fun as the real story starts. Five bright and good-natured college flunkies (??) assist an ex-college flunkie in doing some excavation work in a Scottish bog (although it looks more like American woodlands). Nearby is an ancient castle in which mysterious events are tied to. The "ancient" castle has wooden walls, wooden-hinge doors and a brand spanking new paint job, but oh-well what can you do with lazy filmmakers. Suddenly, shamefully under-costumed bog creatures (wearing untainted shirts and khaki pants) turn the bog into their happy hunting ground. The typically formulaic story is surprisingly grounded, and never descends to an unwatchable bomb level. Director J. Christian Ingvordsen seems to know what goes into a pleasant, crowd pleasing horror flick, but he doesn't seem to have the means to achieve his goal. The screenplay, written by Matthew M. Howe is plain and simple rubbish, but it could have been cool rubbish had there been directed with a bigger budget.

There are fine women to be found, and not much of anything else. This is a pretty bad one, but I guess it could have been a lot worse. If your looking for a decisive recommendation or the opposite, I'd advise passing this one for sure (unless you are interested in seeing a man devour a woman's panties whole in one of the most absurd, if highly memorable, scenes).

Too awesome for it's clever title

[happyflower300 · 10/10 · 11 December 2007]

"Bog Creatures" is the best movie I've ever seen in my entire life!!! I recommend it to all of my friends- and they agree, if they are indeed my true friends. Anyone who hates this masterpiece is obviously a player hater who isn't worth wasting any more text on. If people came into the movie and expected it to be "scary", they are not only a player hater, but also an ignorant player hater, and shall be referred to the previous sentence. Where should I start? Wall-to-wall hilarity. Everything about it is so shitty. They have subtitles for a Viking mummy (you heard right: Viking mummy) who understands English. Damn I love this movie. I can't even finish my synopsis since I've become overwhelmed to purchase "Bog Creatures" so I may enjoy it again and again! One word summary: YES.

They DO still make "B" horror flicks!

[mlevans · 1 June 2003]

They don't make them like THIS anymore! No, wait! This is a 2003 film, not one from 1953! Well, maybe they DO still make ‘em like this!

I was looking for a horror movie that wouldn't tax my brain too badly on a Saturday night and therefore wasn't particularly disappointed with Bog Creatures. The setting is semi-eerie and the acting is okay. Basically, this wasn't a bad horror flick; it just isn't anything that hasn't been seen before. In fact, it really hearkens back to the horror films of the 1950s which we laugh at today. The only differences are slightly better costumes/effects, more foul language, etc.

SPOILERS AHEAD

This may actually become a campy movie at some point. The most bizarre scene is the doofy guy sneaking into one of the girl's tents and sniffing her panties. She returns and catches him, but is standing behind him and can't see what he's doing. So, like any normal rational guy, he SWALLOWS the panties, trying to act nonchalant.

We have a rather bizarre scenario in itself, with specially-recruited `troubled' drop-out archaeology students being brought together. Somehow the tough guy with the tattoo just doesn't strike me as a college archaeology student-having known a number of them. It also seems strange that this U.K. professor has to find his `special' archaeology kids in America.

At least the troweling scene where the first Viking berserker is unearthed--first the helmet then the realization that there is a body IN the helmet--is good. This gives a brief feeling of reality or at least texture to the film. So does the autopsy scene. Other than that, though, it's basically a bunch of typical college losers in the woods, being semi-stalked by somewhat non-aggressive mummified corpses. (If you want to see this basic plot in a well-animated, more lively manner, watch Scooby Doo On Zombie Island!) To put it another way, it's about as scary as Ghost Breakers (with Bob Hope), but much less funny.

The cast is fairly solid, although after just one viewing (all I desire!), I'm not able to keep the five students straight. There are two decent-looking girls we barely get to know, plus a tough guy, a nerd and a weird intellectual who doesn't seem to give a rip. Lara Theodos is certainly hot as Dr. Feneman's brilliant kid sister. The ending, by the way, is interesting-and certainly in keeping with the campy 1950s feel of the movie. Overall, the movie is like the Bog Creatures themselves: kind of creepy, but not much bite.

Filming locations?

[petrasvladi · 8/10 · 19 June 2022]

Where was that filmed? Love it. Typical low cost look from 90s monsters are great, also like the location, anyone any clue where it was filmed? Looks like East Coast or Midwest USA.

What happens when your friend decides he's a filmmaker

[tbkemp · 22 April 2003]

Selected by the world's most over-acted expert on "Irish bogs located somewhere in the Central U.S.", a group of college kids go to dig in a field somewhere in Arkansas, I mean, Ireland. Or maybe it was Norway. Or Sweden. Hell, it doesn't really matter because there isn't a bog within 300 miles of this movie. Unless I'm confused on my history and bog actually means "small dirt field with a few pine trees and some poorly hung fake moss."

Rumor has it that Viking warriors were buried in this bog and the expert professor has spent the last 10 years looking for their bodies. All of his colleagues think he is crazy for believing this.

Well not only is he crazy, he's also blind as a bat because these Nordic Zombie Warriors are all over the freakin' place. Seriously. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting an undead Berserker in the wee bits. In any outdoor scene you can be guaranteed there is at loeast one bog creature hanging out in the background. And our EXPERT can't spot one in 10 years?

Blah blah blah, terrible acting, 1200 year old undead Irish virgins who comprehend Modern English, witch descendants, THE END.

Doesn't go far enough, but decent enough and entertaining mummy film

[kannibalcorpsegrinder · 8/10 · 22 October 2020]

Arriving at Copenhagen University in Denmark, students looking to continue a study on an ancient race of creatures found in a bog nearby manage to uncover several skeletons, but realizing the bog creatures are the reanimated corpses of a tribe of warriors killed to ward off evil spirits they must find a way of destroying them.

This was a pretty enjoyable and entertaining entry. One of the better elements this one works with it is the incredibly well-done atmosphere here since the events take place at an old, abandoned castle out in the middle of the forest. That is the perfect way to generate absolutely insane levels of suspense and atmosphere here, as the castle itself is great with its brick-lined corridors, old-time construction, general appearance and how it manages to fit together all of those elements. The scenes of the group's digging in the forest, with the layout of the trees amongst the bog-covered ground and it's complete and utter dread working quite well. That makes the scenes of them in the forest, either digging through the dirt finding the skeletons or the group wandering through the forest, the atmosphere from the location here is great and adds to an impressive feel. There's also some great stuff coming from the film's later action scenes, which are a lot of fun here. From the first assault of the reanimated mummies on the castle to a sequence involving them running wild through the woods during a relatively fun chase scene, it's got some solid scenes with the creatures. Also included is a rather wild pagan ritual ceremony performed that makes for some chilling moments from the time, and there's a couple of really eerie regeneration scenes in here as well, which is really nice and adds to the atmosphere even more. Playing with the atmosphere of the woods and denseness of the area contributes to the scenes involving them chasing victims or luring them out into the swamp, making for a fine atmospheric touch during these somewhat creepy action scenes. The last bit that works here is that the look of the mummies manages to get a little more good points as they look incredibly good and creepy. With their dirt-encrusted bodies, withered skin, tattered clothes and even bits of roots and branches sticking out of them, they manage to look really great and effectively zombie-like while not completely like them. The fact that these creatures look more like zombies but behave like mummies manage to hold their own due to the decision to mix the two and lets the film have some good scenes carried completely by them, including the somewhat sketchy but completely acceptable idea of them communicating with the humans in their native tongue. Couple these with the film's fast pace and it has a lot going for it. There are a few flaws here that manage to hold it down. One of the biggest is that the film is incredibly dry and doesn't have a whole lot of blood or gore involved. There are several reasons for this, with the most prevalent one being that there are just no kills in here and it has no chance to give some as the body count here is simply paltry. The other part about that is the kills just don't deliver any anyway. When the most graphic kill in a film is a slit throat, it's seriously deprived of gore and doesn't have much chance to ever do something about it if there's no opportunity. The only other part here that doesn't work is the finale, which makes no sense. It's simply hard to understand where it came from, how it plays out and simply doesn't fit in well at all. These issues are the only wrong ones about the film.

Rated R: Graphic Language, Violence and Brief Nudity.

"I ain't afraid of no ghosts."

[Backlash007 · 19 July 2004]

Bog Creatures is one of the worst horror movies I've seen this year. And who would have thunk it with a title like that? Yeah, that's sarcasm on my part. The box art was very misleading. The "zombies" in the film do not look anything like what's pictured on the cover. So don't be fooled. Debbie Rochon is the only "name" actress here so let that be a warning in regards to the acting in the film. Some of the principles are okay, but some of them are horridly awful. Maybe they weren't trying after they realized they were in "Bog Creatures." Sometimes, I really think about giving up on the made for video flicks but every now and then (a long now and then) a gem slips through. This is not one of them.

Reminds me of the whole Hammer flicks.

[bfan83 · 19 December 2003]

They really don't make them like this anymore. It kinda reminds me of the whole Hammer flicks. You know, the ones that starred Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Anyways, this one relies on atmosphere rather than gore or nudity. Which I'm not saying is a bad thing. The acting was surprisingly good for the budget this movie had. And it was shot-on-film. Another great thing about this movie was Debbie Rochon! She did such a great job. She needs to start winning awards for her performances. She's so great! Well, that's all I have to say. I give it a 10!!!

Debbie Rochon cannot save swamp zombie disaster

[Dr. Gore · 31 March 2003]

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

OK. I admit it. I'm an idiot. A fool. A nincompoop. Once again I saw an exciting video box cover and thought it would be good. There was a vicious looking skull on the cover with red eyes and sharp teeth looking down on a bunch of teens. The movie had a bunch of shambling guys in Swamp Thing costumes wielding swords. I cry foul.

"Bog Creatures" reeks. It stinks. Waste of time. One of the things that roped me into it, (as I'm sure the producers were hoping), was the name of Debbie Rochon. I figured she would bring some fun to the party or at least a sense of B-movie legitimacy. Nope. She had no chance. Rochon couldn't save this one from drowning in the muck. She does not get naked in this flick. One of the girls rubs her arm a lot. Wow. Exciting. There was going to be a bathing scene with Rochon being washed by her new girlfriend. It was looking promising. Of course that would have been entertaining and "Bog Creatures" had to put a stop to that right away. Heartbreaking.

So what's left? Not much. There is no action, suspense or gore. There's nothing. Throw this tape back in the bog.

Fun but naff

[barneyrootbeer · 24 February 2004]

Ho, ho, ho - the name itself screams at you from the video store - 'rent me, rent me' - or maybe that's just me? If only the film itself screamed 'watch me' or at least 'enjoy me in a camp kinda way'...it doesn't really - but hey I've seen worse.