Scrubs (TV Series 2001–2010) Poster

(2001–2010)

Neil Flynn: Janitor, Wheelchair Guy

Photos 

Quotes 

  • Janitor : What is it with steel wool? Is it steel? Or is it wool?

  • J.D. : Why aren't you using the mop I bought you?

    Janitor : I didn't like it.

    J.D. : But you cried!

    Janitor : No, that was you.

    [drags wet mop over JD's face] 

  • J.D. : [after Janitor pops up behind him]  Why do you have to jump out and scare me all the time?

    Janitor : I don't jump out and scare you. I follow you around all day. I only got about an hour and a half of work around here, and the rest of the time I track you, like an animal.

  • [after allowing Dr. Kelso to slip] 

    Janitor : I liked the way blond-hair-doctor looked. She brightened my day. But you don't care about that, do you? No... because you're unconscious.

  • Elliot : What are you doing in here?

    Janitor : It's... the men's room.

    Elliot : I know! I mean, it's not like I thought those were some kind of new female urinals, and then... tried them, and found them... oddly comfortable...

  • J.D. : [thinking]  Then he said something I never expected to hear.

    Janitor : I don't like you.

    J.D. : [thinking]  Not that I totally expected that.

  • Dr. Cox : Who're you?

    Janitor : Just a man with a saw.

  • J.D. : Can you get that for me? I can't reach it.

    Janitor : Is this some kind of trick to get me off your back? I mean, I owe you one.

    J.D. : No, I really need it.

    Janitor : OK, here you go. You know, you could have just asked me to stop harassing you for about a year.

    J.D. : OK, I want that.

    Janitor : Too late.

  • J.D. : You're an actor.

    Janitor : You're a fireman... What are we doing?

  • Dr. Cox : I can't believe Kelso really asked my opinion, you know?

    Janitor : Look, pal, if I wanted to sit and listen to someone jam around about their lifes, I'd be at my AA meeting now.

    Dr. Cox : Listen there, scrub-brush. It just so happens that this was the only empty seat in the whole joint and besides, as a fellow abusive drinker you are honor bound by barstool protocol to listen to every last word out of my mouth.

  • [the Janitor is trying to solve J.D.'s riddle] 

    Janitor : [to himself]  Okay, come on: Two coins. Thirty cents. No nickels. Come on! You can do this! You went to Harvard, for God's sake!

    Troy : Relax! I figured it out.

    [Troy pushes his solution over to the Janitor] 

    Janitor : Okay... You gave me a penny... and... what appears to be a button, on which you've written twenty-nine cents.

  • [Dr. Cox, Turk and J.D. are having very different woman problems] 

    Dr. Cox : I don't know what the hell she wants.

    Chris Turk : I don't know if I'm what Carla really wants.

    J.D. : My peeps are on the frits.

    Dr. Cox : What?

    Chris Turk : Whoa.

    J.D. : No, I mean you're me peeps, and you're on the frits...

    Chris Turk : Yeah, right.

    Dr. Cox : God bless you newbie. You helped me get a new perspective on everything.

    Chris Turk : Dude...

    [Dr. Cox and Turk leave, the janitor approaches J.D] 

    Janitor : Thanks for the coffee. Here's your dollar.

    [empties cup full of pennies on J.D.'s table] 

    Janitor : Oh, and by the way, your new nickname is Pepe LeFrits.

  • Janitor : [Dr. Cox took Janitor's camera and ripped out the film]  Hey, all my pictures were in there. Dead patient with fancy shirt, dead patient without fancy shirt, me in fancy shirt being yelled at by angry family.

  • [while inspecting a suspicious mole on the Janitor's penis] 

    J.D. : Hmm... it looks benign.

    Janitor : Yeah, 'bout nine, nine and half.

  • Doug : Hey, Klaus, I got a question for you: why is it in your country that Hamburg and Frankfurt have nothing to do with hamburgers and hot dogs?

    Janitor : [In german voice]  Why is your Lake Titicaca not filled with boobs and poop?

  • Janitor : Ok, look. Attention, roof poopers! Setting aside for a moment the fact that I'm gonna make sure you all live to regret this day - let's keep the magic rolling. Let's not tell anyone else there is a toilet on the roof...

    [Todd enters] 

    Janitor : ...there is NOT a toilet on the roof!

    Todd : But you just said there was!

    Janitor : No, yes, I did, but I was using a metaphor- that means God is watching us. You heard this... there's a toilet... on the roof. Am I right, people?

    [Bystanders agree] 

    Todd : Cool.

    [Makes cross sign and leaves] 

  • Elliot : Thanks again for helping me look for Carla.

    Janitor : No problem. I'll check the dumpster.

    Elliot : ...We're not looking for *dead* Carla.

    Janitor : Atta girl. You stay optimistic.

  • J.D. : [Driving circles around The Janitor]  Ring around the janitor, pocket full of...

    Janitor : Pocket full of what

    J.D. : ZANitor

    Janitor : That's not a word

  • Dr. Kelso : Perry, what's our plan of attack?

    Dr. Cox : When I crush a person's spirit, I like to use a combination of intimidation and degradation.

    Dr. Kelso : I prefer to create an environment in which the subjects end up crushing themselves.

    Dr. Cox : [intrigued]  Uh-huh.

    Janitor : [while JD is coming up behind the Janitor]  I like to pick one person and torment them relentlessly for no reason. If I could find them, I'd show you.

    [JD sneaks away while ominous music plays] 

    Janitor : He's near...

  • J.D. : Oh my God, the janitor's afraid of Carla! How can I use this to my advantage?

    [Cut to a fantasy where Carla is confronting the janitor] 

    Carla : Listen, I want you to lay off J.D.! Stop accusing him of things he didn't do. And bring him a fruit smoothie every day!

    Janitor : [In Spanish]  Would he like strawberry or banana?

    Carla : [In Spanish]  ... Purple tree car with cheese.

    Janitor : [In Spanish]  LIAR!

    [He removes her mask, revealing J.D] 

    J.D. : Feliz Navidad...

    [He retreats. Cut back to reality] 

    J.D. : I'd have to learn Spanish.

  • Janitor : Now, to me, that sounds like your fault... Shocking?

    [J.D. walks away] 

    Janitor : Where ya going? Stay and play!

  • Janitor : Door is broke. Fifth time or so it won't open.

    J.D. : Maybe there's a penny stuck in there.

    Janitor : Why a penny?

    J.D. : No reason.

    Janitor : You stick a penny in there?

    J.D. : No, I was just making small talk.

    Janitor : If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

  • Janitor : Sorry guys. We won't be going out tonight.

    Ted : Oh man. I ironed my going out hair!

  • J.D. : Who put this up?

    Janitor : I did. I drove around the whole city before my 5 AM shift, just looking for that. Trying to add a little cheer. You will not ruin my Christmas. Not again. Not this year.

    J.D. : But I've only worked here for three months.

  • J.D. : [to Turk]  Okay, fine. Let's just play... Tip Over the Trashcan.

    [He tips over the trashcan] 

    J.D. : Okay, I win.

    Janitor : Can I play?

    [Janitor knocks JD's stack of folders to the floor] 

    Janitor : This is fun.

    J.D. : Yeah.

  • Janitor : Hey, Idiot.

    [J.D. turns around] 

    Janitor : Heh. I said idiot and you turned around.

  • Janitor : Scooter!

    J.D. : Huh?

    Janitor : Your nickname will be scooter.

    J.D. : I don't get it.

    Janitor : Like Scooter Pies. I *hate* Scooter Pies!

    J.D. : Oh... now I get it.

  • Janitor : [Janitor wants to go out with Elliot and asks Ted for advice]  How did you get a girlfriend?

    Ted : I became friends with her best friend.

    Janitor : How'd you do that?

    Ted : I pretended to be her dad and rented her a car.

    Ted : [Janitor looks surprised]  I lost my hair in the 8th grade.

  • Janitor : Gentlemen. Crazy-Eyes Margo. I've called the Brain Trust together for one reason. I have to find a way to make Blonde Doctor mine.

    Randall : Burn down her apartment.

    Troy : I have an idea. But we're going to need a tugboat.

    Janitor : Tugboats and arson, that's all I ever get from you guys.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


Recently Viewed