Undercover Brother (2002)
Chi McBride: The Chief
Photos
Quotes
-
Undercover Brother : Are you telling me there really is a Man'?
Conspiracy Brother : What do you think? Things don't just happen by accident! Sometimes people - mostly *white* people - make things happen!
Undercover Brother : So the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are true? The NBA really did institute the three point shot to give white boys a chance?
Smart Brother : Absolutely!
Undercover Brother : Then the entertainment industry really *is* out to get Spike Lee?
Conspiracy Brother : Come on man! Even Cher's won an Oscar! Cher!
Undercover Brother : Then O.J. really didn't do it?
[Everyone looks away and mumbles]
The Chief : We... we ain't got time for this!
-
The Chief : Today is a great day for black people of all races.
-
Undercover Brother : Wait a minute, how'd the white boy get a job at "the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D."?
The Chief : Shit, what can I say? Affirmative action.
-
[after witnessing the General's speech]
The Chief : Smart Brother, you're so damn smart. Can you tell us what the Hell just happened?
Smart Brother : Well, uh, I, uh, um...
The Chief : [mocking him] Well, um, I, uh... Shut up! If I wanted to hear something stupid, I'd ask his skinny Black Ass!
Conspiracy Brother : Ha, ha! In your face! Ha! Skinny black... HEY!
-
Conspiracy Brother : That's Right! It's goin' to the streets. Hey y'all! It's revolution up in this Bitch! Set the alarm for Defcon 5! It's on, baby... it's on!
The Chief : Good work, White She-Devil. Oh, and you in too.
Conspiracy Brother : What the Fuck? Chief! I've never seen this bitch in my agent classes! I'm still paying the loans off, man! I sleep on a pissy mattress! I ain't got good food to eat! I borough money for my Weed! I quit! That's it. Y'all ain't got Conspiracy Brother Jones to kick around no more! Give me a pillow case... I'm joining the Klan!
-
[as black cultural leaders begin to fall prey to The Man's plan]
The Chief : Jay-Z to cover Lawrence Welk's greatest hits? John Singleton to remake "Driving Miss Daisy"? Terry McMillan - "How Stella got her White Man Back"? Double damn it! Black people all over the world are losin' their damn minds!
-
The Chief : I'm tired of you disrespecting me! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire your black-ass?
Undercover Brother : Because I... don't... work for you?
The Chief : SHUT UP! Save the smart comments for the chunky brother in the smock!
-
Lance : So let me get this straight; whenever a black guy does well, starts wearing Dockers, buys a few Celine Dion records, and sleeps with a White chick, you automatically say he's sold out?
The Chief : That's enough, Lance!
Lance : Always trying to shut the white man down.
Conspiracy Brother : THAT'S RIGHT! That's Right!... Oh, that ain't right.
-
The Chief : What the hell you doing bringing a white girl up in my house, boy?
-
[after Undercover Brother escapes a massive explosion by floating down a cliff in parachute pants]
The Chief : Didn't you cause about a ba-zillion dollars worth of damage? And I sure as hell ain't covering for ya; I don't care how sexy you look floating down in your little pants!