Undercover Brother (2002)
Neil Patrick Harris: Lance
Photos
Quotes
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Undercover Brother : You know what they say, behind every great black man...
Conspiracy Brother : is the police.
Undercover Brother : No.
Smart Brother : A bunch of slow white athletes?
Undercover Brother : No!
White She-Devil : A cute butt.
Undercover Brother : NO!
Lance : Probable cause.
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[after killing three bodyguards with his bare hands in a temper tantrum]
Lance : They shouldn't have called me a sissy.
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Lance : I *feel* black.
Conspiracy Brother : But you *look* white... don't touch me!
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Lance : So let me get this straight; whenever a black guy does well, starts wearing Dockers, buys a few Celine Dion records, and sleeps with a White chick, you automatically say he's sold out?
The Chief : That's enough, Lance!
Lance : Always trying to shut the white man down.
Conspiracy Brother : THAT'S RIGHT! That's Right!... Oh, that ain't right.
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[Stoned, walking into The Man's communications room]
Lance : This isn't Taco Bell! Oh, man...
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Lance : [screeching] I... am not... a sissy!
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Lance : It looks like the Source Awards in here...
[Conspiracy Brother punches him]
Conspiracy Brother : It does now!
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Lance : Chief, and various brother agents. I owe all of you a huge apology. I just watched a show, ummm, Roots, maybe you've heard of it? It taught me such a profound lesson about bigotry. I have stood on the sidelines of race relations long enough! I want to march down that field of oppression and kick that ball of bigotry right over the goalpost of intolerance!
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Lance : We gotta get the hell out of here! We're gonna die! We're all gonna die!
Undercover Brother : [slaps Lance] Dig it...
[slaps him again]
Undercover Brother : ... and dig it hard!
Lance : [softly] Daddy...