This was easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Forget the fact that the storyline was absolutly pathetic, the acting was ten times worse! How about those accents? Whatever they were, they certainly were not Scottish. The special effects were equally terrible, espcially the "underwater" shots, which look like they were made in an ordinary dark, smokey room. If you have yet to see this film, do yourself a favor and do not even consider renting it. For the unfortunate ones out there who have seen this, I feel your pain.
66 Reviews
The Horror
Theo Robertson19 July 2002
To say this is a JAWS rip off does not do justice as to how bad this is , in fact the only compatant bits are the monster P.O.V shots stolen from the JAWS franchise . This is film making at its absolute nadir , it`d be impossible to make a film worse than this on purpose . Everyone has already commented the mistakes like the American ambulances and the god awful ( Non ) Scottish accents , the poor acting etc , but has anyone mentioned the goof that dynamite ISN`T freely avalaible in Scotland ? Or that the police uniforms aren`t the same ones seen in Scotland ? And has anyone pointed out how poor the dialogue is ?
" A lotta people want you out of here " Aye Scottish film goers obviously
" You not wanted round here here " Aye definately scottish film goers
" I`m really sorry for what happened " No doubt said by everyone involved in the making of this tripe
" I could do better with a ( A high St brand of camera ) " No doubt said by everyone who`s seen this tripe . Also notice the product placement . So that`s how this film was funded
" We need something that`ll keep us in work " Subtle post modernist excuse for making this tripe
" We don`t need any help round here " Oh no ? What about acting lessons , screenwriting classes , film school etc ?
" Why don`t you go back to the States to find bigfoot or Elvis Pressley ? " Maybe they could also find a decent script , director , editor , producer and actors while they`re there
" Sheep got a headache ? " Oh right like the Welsh , Aussies and New Zealanders the Jocks are sheep lovers are they ? Doubt if anyone in this film would have the guts to say that in Scotland especially after watching this tripe it`s obvious they have no idea where Scotland
PS A flock of sheep with headaches could have made a better film than this
" A lotta people want you out of here " Aye Scottish film goers obviously
" You not wanted round here here " Aye definately scottish film goers
" I`m really sorry for what happened " No doubt said by everyone involved in the making of this tripe
" I could do better with a ( A high St brand of camera ) " No doubt said by everyone who`s seen this tripe . Also notice the product placement . So that`s how this film was funded
" We need something that`ll keep us in work " Subtle post modernist excuse for making this tripe
" We don`t need any help round here " Oh no ? What about acting lessons , screenwriting classes , film school etc ?
" Why don`t you go back to the States to find bigfoot or Elvis Pressley ? " Maybe they could also find a decent script , director , editor , producer and actors while they`re there
" Sheep got a headache ? " Oh right like the Welsh , Aussies and New Zealanders the Jocks are sheep lovers are they ? Doubt if anyone in this film would have the guts to say that in Scotland especially after watching this tripe it`s obvious they have no idea where Scotland
PS A flock of sheep with headaches could have made a better film than this
If you didn't laugh, you'd cry
cosmic_quest10 March 2006
As a Scot, when I saw this film, I was left numbed at how shocking it was and I don't mean that in a good way. This 'film' (and I use that term in the loosest sense of the word) is not only an insult to Scotland but it is embarrassing for the Hollywood producers and actors involved in this project.
Aside from the fact the storyline dire and the acting utterly bland, the special effects look as if they were put together by three-year-olds on their nursery school computer . However, the most pathetic point about this film was the fact it clearly was not set anywhere remotely near the UK, let alone Loch Ness. It was bad enough that the cast were mainly Americans (or Americans with bad accents) but the cars drove on the wrong side of the road, the police wore American uniforms and little effort was made to even pretend the American location of this film was supposedly Scotland. Then you had the stereotypical Scots who graced the background every so often; I honestly was waiting for them to shout 'och, aye the noo' then do the Highland fling in their kilt with the haggis dancing by their sides.
Take a leaf out of Nessie's book when it comes to 'Beneath Loch Ness' and hide far, far away from it (although Scots may want to see it with the view that it is pure comedy in a 'so bad it's good' way).
Aside from the fact the storyline dire and the acting utterly bland, the special effects look as if they were put together by three-year-olds on their nursery school computer . However, the most pathetic point about this film was the fact it clearly was not set anywhere remotely near the UK, let alone Loch Ness. It was bad enough that the cast were mainly Americans (or Americans with bad accents) but the cars drove on the wrong side of the road, the police wore American uniforms and little effort was made to even pretend the American location of this film was supposedly Scotland. Then you had the stereotypical Scots who graced the background every so often; I honestly was waiting for them to shout 'och, aye the noo' then do the Highland fling in their kilt with the haggis dancing by their sides.
Take a leaf out of Nessie's book when it comes to 'Beneath Loch Ness' and hide far, far away from it (although Scots may want to see it with the view that it is pure comedy in a 'so bad it's good' way).
Bad, very bad.
Dave-6391 April 2002
It is seldom that I end up watching a movie for the sole purpose of counting just how many goofs & gaffes can be crammed into such a short amount of time - not to mention how objectionably typecast the Scottish characters are.
The "Scottish" accents are a thing to marvel at (a mixture of Irish, Olde English and some weird speech impediment - definitely NO Scottish), seeing Case pay for his meal in a "Scottish" pub with American dollars, the American ambulance seen when the young lad is dragged from the "Scottish loch" are just a small proportion of the clues to point to the fact that this particular director has probably never set foot in the country. This would seem to be borne out by the fact that the few real Scottish scenes seem to have been filmed by a bloke who flew to Scotland (for a half day max) with a camcorder for some "scene setting" footage. Actors were then superimposed over these scenes...BADLY! (Particularly "great" is when Elizabeth is standing on a station with a train supposedly passing behind her...truly terrible)
This is nothing to say of the dreadful story line, terrible computer graphics, mediocre acting and amateurish direction.
If you want a laugh, watch this movie...if you want to see a good movie, don't even think about it!
The "Scottish" accents are a thing to marvel at (a mixture of Irish, Olde English and some weird speech impediment - definitely NO Scottish), seeing Case pay for his meal in a "Scottish" pub with American dollars, the American ambulance seen when the young lad is dragged from the "Scottish loch" are just a small proportion of the clues to point to the fact that this particular director has probably never set foot in the country. This would seem to be borne out by the fact that the few real Scottish scenes seem to have been filmed by a bloke who flew to Scotland (for a half day max) with a camcorder for some "scene setting" footage. Actors were then superimposed over these scenes...BADLY! (Particularly "great" is when Elizabeth is standing on a station with a train supposedly passing behind her...truly terrible)
This is nothing to say of the dreadful story line, terrible computer graphics, mediocre acting and amateurish direction.
If you want a laugh, watch this movie...if you want to see a good movie, don't even think about it!
Set in Scotland - just south of Detroit
rob-23623 April 2002
Obviously even the likes of Patrick Bergen and Lysette Anthony have mortgages and bills to pay. It's sad to see even slightly recognisable personnel in such an abysmal production. I can only assume that they fired the person responsible for continuity, as there are more holes in this picture than a dartboard.
Its set in a Scotland where:-
People speak in American, Irish, English, and probably Punjabi accents- but not Scottish.
The loch Ness monster looks like something from a game on the commodore 64
People drive American 4x4 vehicles on the wrong side of the road
The police wear American uniforms
You can use American dollars in the local shops and pubs
etc., etc. - the list goes on.
Indeed, this is a pathetic and insulting offering, with "Scotsmen" stereotyped that I am surprised the casting department didn't hire Russ Abbott to do his mad Scotsman impersonation.
Its set in a Scotland where:-
People speak in American, Irish, English, and probably Punjabi accents- but not Scottish.
The loch Ness monster looks like something from a game on the commodore 64
People drive American 4x4 vehicles on the wrong side of the road
The police wear American uniforms
You can use American dollars in the local shops and pubs
etc., etc. - the list goes on.
Indeed, this is a pathetic and insulting offering, with "Scotsmen" stereotyped that I am surprised the casting department didn't hire Russ Abbott to do his mad Scotsman impersonation.
There are monsters and there are monstrosities
vaughan.birbeck15 August 2001
I had my doubts about this but as my young son is a 'monster' buff I decided to rent it.
Where to begin? With the plot elements lifted from other, better sources: Jaws, Jurassic Park, even a bit of Moby Dick found its way in there. Maybe with the rent-a-cliche characters: maverick scientist; career-driven ex-wife of maverick scientist (called 'Lizzie Borden'? - puh-lease!); obnoxious local official who refuses to take dire warnings seriously (Constable Connaghy - did they audition this guy before they got him to play a Highlander?). Not to mention the endlessly repeated graphic of the 'monster' swimming towards us.
Factual errors and misconceptions are too tiresome to list.
At the risk of spoiling anyone's enjoyment of this cinematic feast: the sight of Patrick Bergin rigged out in kilt and Braveheart-style war-paint, going out to battle the monster armed with a harpoon is one that will linger long in my memory (unfortunately).
I should add that my son enjoyed it so that may be an indication of its appeal.
Where to begin? With the plot elements lifted from other, better sources: Jaws, Jurassic Park, even a bit of Moby Dick found its way in there. Maybe with the rent-a-cliche characters: maverick scientist; career-driven ex-wife of maverick scientist (called 'Lizzie Borden'? - puh-lease!); obnoxious local official who refuses to take dire warnings seriously (Constable Connaghy - did they audition this guy before they got him to play a Highlander?). Not to mention the endlessly repeated graphic of the 'monster' swimming towards us.
Factual errors and misconceptions are too tiresome to list.
At the risk of spoiling anyone's enjoyment of this cinematic feast: the sight of Patrick Bergin rigged out in kilt and Braveheart-style war-paint, going out to battle the monster armed with a harpoon is one that will linger long in my memory (unfortunately).
I should add that my son enjoyed it so that may be an indication of its appeal.
Should NEVER have been made!
CavalorCumano21 June 2003
I saw this miserable excuse of a movie yesterday, and I'd like to point a few things out to the director, Comisky:
1. Scottish accents are supposed to sound Scottish, not Irish! Real Scots should have been cast or American actors who were up to the job.
2. Scottish people are nothing like the ones portrayed in the film.
3. The fact that the UK version is eight minutes shorter, does not make up for the rest of the movie which is nothing, but an insult to we Scots.
To anybody considering watching this drivel, don't waste your time! Go watch Loch Ness (1995) which is superior in every way.
1. Scottish accents are supposed to sound Scottish, not Irish! Real Scots should have been cast or American actors who were up to the job.
2. Scottish people are nothing like the ones portrayed in the film.
3. The fact that the UK version is eight minutes shorter, does not make up for the rest of the movie which is nothing, but an insult to we Scots.
To anybody considering watching this drivel, don't waste your time! Go watch Loch Ness (1995) which is superior in every way.
Mind-boggling
RichardVRichard29 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I'd like to say I don't really feel entitled to comment on this movie after I gave up 40 minutes in. But nevertheless...
I bought this cheapy and cheery DVD for the grand sum of £2.99 at the local newsagents.
My doubts about the quality of this film began shortly after the underwater earthquake. Yes you heard me, underwater earthquake. In Scotland. Underwater. This is explained by the line "Actually Scotland is located on a large tectonic fault." For comparison; this is similar for the overlook hotel to get randomly swept away by a tsunami in the Shining and having dick halloran and a policeman standing over the ruins and the policeman explaining "Actually Colorado has quite a large coastline."
But maybe I'd let that one pass. Serious doubts were added when the action flitted back to a sandy rock a.k.a Afghanistan for no reason other than to get the yearly exotic Asian fix in.
Slowly other incidents crept in. Such as the sub-tropical nature of Scotland I had not noticed. Or the fact that a community entirely dependent on tourism asserts "We don't like outsiders." And random scenes for no apparent reason are dubbed. Badly.
From here things simply got worse; the police force apparently in unison with the local populace seems determined at destroying the economy with the repeated assertion he wants no more of this Nessie rubbish. The accents go from low to low. The same CGI effect is repeatedly used. And its not even a good one; it looks like a brown log underwater.
Its not long before hippies swarm down from their climes and see Nessies recent carnage as a good reason for bobbing occult ceremonies. Nessie despite being the size of a small oil tanker has no problem entering low tide completely submerged and massacring the pagans without being seen.
The point were I cracked was when a major character randomly turns to another mid-argument and yells 'Is this because of our divorce?' She the breaks into tears. WHAT? Not the slightest provocation was dropped for this other than the sudden need for a romantic lead.
I went away but from those foolhardy to sit through I hear a stunning conclusion was achieved with explosives and what not. I'm assuming the two main characters realised their divorce was too soon and the evil overlord financing the operation from his New York lair got some kind of comeuppance but that is by-the-by.
My verdict: Aninsulttoallthatisgoodandtrue/10
I bought this cheapy and cheery DVD for the grand sum of £2.99 at the local newsagents.
My doubts about the quality of this film began shortly after the underwater earthquake. Yes you heard me, underwater earthquake. In Scotland. Underwater. This is explained by the line "Actually Scotland is located on a large tectonic fault." For comparison; this is similar for the overlook hotel to get randomly swept away by a tsunami in the Shining and having dick halloran and a policeman standing over the ruins and the policeman explaining "Actually Colorado has quite a large coastline."
But maybe I'd let that one pass. Serious doubts were added when the action flitted back to a sandy rock a.k.a Afghanistan for no reason other than to get the yearly exotic Asian fix in.
Slowly other incidents crept in. Such as the sub-tropical nature of Scotland I had not noticed. Or the fact that a community entirely dependent on tourism asserts "We don't like outsiders." And random scenes for no apparent reason are dubbed. Badly.
From here things simply got worse; the police force apparently in unison with the local populace seems determined at destroying the economy with the repeated assertion he wants no more of this Nessie rubbish. The accents go from low to low. The same CGI effect is repeatedly used. And its not even a good one; it looks like a brown log underwater.
Its not long before hippies swarm down from their climes and see Nessies recent carnage as a good reason for bobbing occult ceremonies. Nessie despite being the size of a small oil tanker has no problem entering low tide completely submerged and massacring the pagans without being seen.
The point were I cracked was when a major character randomly turns to another mid-argument and yells 'Is this because of our divorce?' She the breaks into tears. WHAT? Not the slightest provocation was dropped for this other than the sudden need for a romantic lead.
I went away but from those foolhardy to sit through I hear a stunning conclusion was achieved with explosives and what not. I'm assuming the two main characters realised their divorce was too soon and the evil overlord financing the operation from his New York lair got some kind of comeuppance but that is by-the-by.
My verdict: Aninsulttoallthatisgoodandtrue/10
Absolute bunk..
rabid_halfling19 April 2004
Avoid this movie.. we rented it, and was completely horrified not on the scariness, but the absolute crap that was apparently not properly put on the dvd.. it was recorded twice.. it ends and starts allover againright in the middle.. I could act, design, and do a better scottish accent, than even the "locals" sheeesh.. buy this and burn it.. we must not let this movie exist... The monster keep changing in size.. one minute 30ft, next 300ft.. and the eyes were not right... Crap... rating .0001/10
p.s. watch cpac, much more frightening...
p.s. watch cpac, much more frightening...
To Comisky "Don't give up the day job"
aelthric5 December 2005
How could we write a movie about America that is as insulting to Americans as this film is to Scots and the entire UK?
The fact is we couldn't.
It is clear from Comiskys diabolical stereotyping of Scots and his ignorant depictions of Scotland and the UK that nobody could be this stupid.
What was the underlying theme to this Movie?
From what I saw of this garbage film, I can only conclude that this was a manifest orgy of hate filled propaganda against Scotland and the UK, perpetrated by Comisky for an agenda that is best known to himself, tenuously alibied by the wooden acting, the incredulous plagiarist butchery of other movies plots, the pathetic script writing, the ridiculous discontinuity and last but not least Comiskys own deliberate ineptness as a director.
This was not so much a movie that was made badly, as a very successful character assassination of an entire Nation.
It comes as no surprise that following this "Chuck" (Is that supposed to be short for Charles?) directed nothing else, no doubt having been deluged by complaints the studio had him painting scenery or fetching coffee for less hate filled and infinitely more accomplished directors.
The fact is we couldn't.
It is clear from Comiskys diabolical stereotyping of Scots and his ignorant depictions of Scotland and the UK that nobody could be this stupid.
What was the underlying theme to this Movie?
From what I saw of this garbage film, I can only conclude that this was a manifest orgy of hate filled propaganda against Scotland and the UK, perpetrated by Comisky for an agenda that is best known to himself, tenuously alibied by the wooden acting, the incredulous plagiarist butchery of other movies plots, the pathetic script writing, the ridiculous discontinuity and last but not least Comiskys own deliberate ineptness as a director.
This was not so much a movie that was made badly, as a very successful character assassination of an entire Nation.
It comes as no surprise that following this "Chuck" (Is that supposed to be short for Charles?) directed nothing else, no doubt having been deluged by complaints the studio had him painting scenery or fetching coffee for less hate filled and infinitely more accomplished directors.
I laughed and laughed....
surfcrazedscot31 March 2002
As a Scot I'd love to know exactly which Scotland the accents used in this film came from. It certainly wasn't the Scotland that I'm familiar with.
Having said that, it should have come as no surprise because the acting was crap and the storyline a joke.
I recommend that you do everything in your power to see this movie because the art of comedy lives on here even if it was unintentional.
Having said that, it should have come as no surprise because the acting was crap and the storyline a joke.
I recommend that you do everything in your power to see this movie because the art of comedy lives on here even if it was unintentional.
Vernon Wells all the way
Master_T30 November 2002
I'm not really bothered that there is only about 1 actual Scottish person in this movie, I'm not really bothered that the special effects really aren't all that special in this movie, I'm not even bothered about the typical stupid yanky portrayal of Scottish people in this movie, why? Because it stars Vernon Wells and he deserves 100 oscars. His performance in this film is 5 star gold plated with little frilly bits around the outside. He is immense, his accent was genius in the film, it almost had an Irish/Australian lilt to it which Wells obviously added himself to spice up his character as the constable. His role was classic and is the only thing worth seeing in this movie, ordinarily this film would be rated classic for its content but because it stars one of the biggest geniuses ever, it has to go into the Extra Special Classic collection.
Decent Loch Ness Monster flick
Wuchakk22 March 2016
Released in 2001, "Beneath Loch Ness" chronicles events at the popular loch in Scotland as a team of researchers try to find the infamous "monster." The team is played by Brian Wimmer, Lysa Apostle, David Andriole, Chris Taaffe and Lysette Anthony. Their work is complicated by the presence of local teams playing a Nessie stunt. Patrick Bergin is on hand as a vengeful Scottish fisherman.
While not as polished and weighty as 1996's "Loch Ness" with Ted Danson, "Beneath Loch Ness" is better than 2008's "Beyond Loch Ness" (aka "Loch Ness Terror"). Despite the obvious budget limitations, I'm giving it a mild 'thumbs up' because the cast and story drew me into the world of the characters. Plus there's an interesting twist revealed in the third act. In other words, this isn't just another movie about encountering Nessie, although Nessie's in it. Lacking the funds for quality F/X, the filmmakers make the right decision to hold off showing the creature till the very end, where the CGI is cartoony but serviceable for a low-budget flick from 2001. After just viewing the laughably bad "Mega Piranha," I was ready for the worst, but "Beneath Loch Ness" surprised me as a respectable nature-runs-amok flick. It's far from great, but it's not bad either. Despite the lack of funds, the filmmakers took the project seriously and it shows. Critics nitpick the Scottish accents and stereotypes, but who cares about that? Besides, stereotypes exist because there's SOME truth them.
The film runs 96 minutes and was shot in Scotland and Castaic Lake, Santa Clarita, California. I'm assuming that establishing shots were done in Scotland with the actual movie being shot at Castaic Lake, CA. If so, they chose a convincing stand-in for Loch Ness. Excellent job on this front.
GRADE: B-
While not as polished and weighty as 1996's "Loch Ness" with Ted Danson, "Beneath Loch Ness" is better than 2008's "Beyond Loch Ness" (aka "Loch Ness Terror"). Despite the obvious budget limitations, I'm giving it a mild 'thumbs up' because the cast and story drew me into the world of the characters. Plus there's an interesting twist revealed in the third act. In other words, this isn't just another movie about encountering Nessie, although Nessie's in it. Lacking the funds for quality F/X, the filmmakers make the right decision to hold off showing the creature till the very end, where the CGI is cartoony but serviceable for a low-budget flick from 2001. After just viewing the laughably bad "Mega Piranha," I was ready for the worst, but "Beneath Loch Ness" surprised me as a respectable nature-runs-amok flick. It's far from great, but it's not bad either. Despite the lack of funds, the filmmakers took the project seriously and it shows. Critics nitpick the Scottish accents and stereotypes, but who cares about that? Besides, stereotypes exist because there's SOME truth them.
The film runs 96 minutes and was shot in Scotland and Castaic Lake, Santa Clarita, California. I'm assuming that establishing shots were done in Scotland with the actual movie being shot at Castaic Lake, CA. If so, they chose a convincing stand-in for Loch Ness. Excellent job on this front.
GRADE: B-
Oh my God!!!
mobius-926 July 2005
What a complete turkey!
One of the all-time worsts with the two "name" actors (Bergin and Anthony) appearing only briefly in the first half, but compensating for this later with frantic scenery chewing. (Bergin in a kilt with blue-painted face is certainly a sight to remember.)
In addition: an incoherent plot, frequent continuity errors, laughable effects and unbelievable locations even for one who has never been to Scotland.
Only possible things of interest: a totally unnecessary wet T-shirt scene and an uncredited Robert Foxworth in the shower.
Avoid at all costs! (Especially if you are Scottish and take pride in your land and its people.)
One of the all-time worsts with the two "name" actors (Bergin and Anthony) appearing only briefly in the first half, but compensating for this later with frantic scenery chewing. (Bergin in a kilt with blue-painted face is certainly a sight to remember.)
In addition: an incoherent plot, frequent continuity errors, laughable effects and unbelievable locations even for one who has never been to Scotland.
Only possible things of interest: a totally unnecessary wet T-shirt scene and an uncredited Robert Foxworth in the shower.
Avoid at all costs! (Especially if you are Scottish and take pride in your land and its people.)
Major disappointment. Save your money!
forbisgen8 November 2002
I was so excited to see this video at Blockbuster. Having visited Loch Ness and loving monster stories, I was looking forward to seeing scenes of Scotland (blink and you miss them), hearing Scottish accents (terrible), and enjoying a campy monster movie (strike three - you're out). I found the portrayal of the local Scots to be totally insulting. The movie wasn't campy, just bad. Obviously a play-by-play rip off of JAWS.
I would be willing to watch it again if I were with the same friends who studied in Scotland with me and we were rip-roaring drunk. That way we could make fun of it together.
I would be willing to watch it again if I were with the same friends who studied in Scotland with me and we were rip-roaring drunk. That way we could make fun of it together.
Awful
steve-88920 April 2002
This film is awful. All the actors trying to speak in a scotish accent sound irish!
When has the UK police ever driven round in 4x4 americian trucks???
When Case picks up Elizabeth from the train station, it is clear that she is standing in front of a blue screen!
On the way back to the loch the car seen in the shot is a left hand drive car (uk cars are right hand drive)
When there is shot of the car ferry on the loch the sky is overcast, when the arrive at the research station the sky is blue and the sun is shining!
What a great film!! (NOT)
When has the UK police ever driven round in 4x4 americian trucks???
When Case picks up Elizabeth from the train station, it is clear that she is standing in front of a blue screen!
On the way back to the loch the car seen in the shot is a left hand drive car (uk cars are right hand drive)
When there is shot of the car ferry on the loch the sky is overcast, when the arrive at the research station the sky is blue and the sun is shining!
What a great film!! (NOT)
Bad...very bad!
LuboLarsson31 March 2002
Are films like these made just to fill up cable film channels schedules?, you know the movie that will get shown at 4 a.m on a Monday morning? Its just awful, the computer effects were pitiful. They would have been better off buying a plastic Nessie and dangling it over Loch Ness, oh but of course it wasn't really filmed at Loch Ness was it eh!... well living about 30 miles from Loch Ness I can tell you it certainly wasn't, more like somewhere in the USA. What happened to Patrick Bergins career, does he even care anymore, obviously not, from appearing in films with the likes of Harrison Ford and Julia Roberts....to this. The whole thing is pointless....in fact why I am even bothering to comment on it escapes me. Probably becase I'm Scottish and am so insulted by the accents, I mean that Australian bloke was alright as a baddie in Mad Max 2 about 20 years ago, but saying the word Lassie at the end of every sentence doesn't makeyou a credible Scotsman!!!.. DO NOT WATCH THIS!
The Cheese Beneath Loch Ness
elronds92 November 2003
So bad it's good. Possibly only for Scottish viewers who will wet themselves laughing at Patrick Bergin's Oscar worthy Captain Blay. And if you take a shot of whisky every time they use the same cgi shot of the "monster" you'll be blind drunk well before the end.
Rent it for a laugh, Ideal movie for a horror cheesefest night.
Rent it for a laugh, Ideal movie for a horror cheesefest night.
Pitiful, pathetic and poor.
Someotheral2 January 2002
This movie really is awful. No effort has been put into making this rubbish worthwhile viewing. The entire storyline can be summed up in one short sentence.
The accents are terrible. The guy from the 'HM Coast Guard' only uses the occasional word like 'lass' in order to imitate the Scottish. Even more laughable are the two women doing the Irish-like accent, when they are meant to be locals of the area.
In one scene there is a woman standing at a train station. It is so obvious that this is not taken on a real station, but instead on a fake set in front of a screen.
Is there really a Coast Guard on Loch Ness??? If so, do they have depth charges and equipment on their boat to launch them??? Do they usually ignore radio messages alerting them that they are about to blow up divers???
There is nothing good in this movie, it isn't even entertaining. Special effects are bad, the monster looks like something from a video game, and the movie is just made up of several small events loosely tied together.
The accents are terrible. The guy from the 'HM Coast Guard' only uses the occasional word like 'lass' in order to imitate the Scottish. Even more laughable are the two women doing the Irish-like accent, when they are meant to be locals of the area.
In one scene there is a woman standing at a train station. It is so obvious that this is not taken on a real station, but instead on a fake set in front of a screen.
Is there really a Coast Guard on Loch Ness??? If so, do they have depth charges and equipment on their boat to launch them??? Do they usually ignore radio messages alerting them that they are about to blow up divers???
There is nothing good in this movie, it isn't even entertaining. Special effects are bad, the monster looks like something from a video game, and the movie is just made up of several small events loosely tied together.
Bagpipers need a union!
piperwill18 June 2002
I have read the rather negative comments of others about this film, and can't say I blame the Scots people for their reaction. I've been to Scotland and found it a very friendly place, unlike the bellicose people depicted in the movie. I am a professional bagpiper and found both the lack of piping, and the miniscule portrayal of the piper at the memorial/funeral scene near the beginning of the picture sadly awry. Even from a distance it was clear the piper was not a piper. He was holding the instrument incorrectly, and they didn't even over dub any piping at all, much less good piping. I have observed this phenomenon in our coverage of parades here in the States, and in movies and TV in general. The pipes when played well are evocative, exciting and stirring, and why producers and directors ignore them as a general rule is beyond me. Even Mel Gibson went to the whinier Irish pipes for Braveheart. I think we need a stronger union!
Loch Ness Horrible
Woodyanders4 March 2012
Warning: Spoilers
A crack team of scientific researchers try to solve the age-old mystery of Loch Ness. Man, does this hideously tedious clunker reek worse than skanky old tuna: The slack (non)direction by Chuck Comisky (who also co-wrote the excruciatingly dull and talky script) allows the pace to meander at a painfully poky clip, there's no tension or spooky atmosphere to speak of, the stereotypical local yokels sport dodgy Scottish accents, the evocation of Scotland isn't remotely convincing, the murky underwater photography is a major strain on the eyes, the generic shivery score further undermines the inept attempts at suspense, and the lousy (far from) special effects don't even come close to cutting it (the CGI creature in particular is simply pathetic). The hapless cast flounder with the sub-par material: Patrick Bergin contributes an atrociously hammy third-rate Robert Shaw impersonation as the crazed and vengeful Blay, Brian Wimmer makes for an insipid and underwhelming hero as earnest head researcher Case, Lysette Anthony plays bitchy and opportunistic reporter Elizabeth to the obnoxious ninth degree, and Vernon Wells is supremely irritating as the resident toolbag constable. Worse yet, the lame'n'tame PG-13 rating ensures that that there's no graphic gore or tasty gratuitous female nudity to alleviate the numbing severity of the pervasive boredom. Hold your nose if you decide to waste 96 minutes of your precious life on this turkey, because baby does this one seriously stink!
Better than Jaws II
mickdansforth30 June 2004
Water Based Monster Movies is a favorite genre of mine. Since Lake Placid and Anaconda hit theaters, companies like TriMark/Lion's Gate and DEJ Productions have flooded the market with tales of giant Sharks, Snakes and Crocodiles. I own most of these. And, they mostly suck.
Beneath Loch Ness returns the monster to the Under Water Monster movie. Not a recognizable animal you can find in a zoo or aquarium, but one classified as other. Beneath this placid loch lies a lost world of prehistoric terror.
Patrick Bergin made a name for himself in the late 80's and early 90's with some theatrical hits, but has since made his home in the direct to video realm. And we are all the better for it. (For as long as Video Store continue to make this a viable arena.) Patrick Bergin has become a hallmark of quality in this market. I have recently purchased 6 of his movies, Curse of Dracula, The Lost World, Treasure Island, Amazon's and Gladiators, Merlin the Return, and Beneath Loch Ness, and while a couple of these are kiddie fare, they all rise above the direct to video heap.
Even though Patrick Bergin gets top billing on the box, Brian Wimmer is the main character. He and the rest of the main cast execute their parts well. When watching movies like Shark Attack 2, and Octopus, it becomes impossible to find anyone worthwhile onscreen. While in this movie, it's hard to find any weak links.
This is a fun monster movie that takes itself seriously, and is well worth watching. The effects are passable. The characters are likeable. And the story, while not breaking much new ground, moves forward well, with out any major lags, or hitches.
Beneath Loch Ness returns the monster to the Under Water Monster movie. Not a recognizable animal you can find in a zoo or aquarium, but one classified as other. Beneath this placid loch lies a lost world of prehistoric terror.
Patrick Bergin made a name for himself in the late 80's and early 90's with some theatrical hits, but has since made his home in the direct to video realm. And we are all the better for it. (For as long as Video Store continue to make this a viable arena.) Patrick Bergin has become a hallmark of quality in this market. I have recently purchased 6 of his movies, Curse of Dracula, The Lost World, Treasure Island, Amazon's and Gladiators, Merlin the Return, and Beneath Loch Ness, and while a couple of these are kiddie fare, they all rise above the direct to video heap.
Even though Patrick Bergin gets top billing on the box, Brian Wimmer is the main character. He and the rest of the main cast execute their parts well. When watching movies like Shark Attack 2, and Octopus, it becomes impossible to find anyone worthwhile onscreen. While in this movie, it's hard to find any weak links.
This is a fun monster movie that takes itself seriously, and is well worth watching. The effects are passable. The characters are likeable. And the story, while not breaking much new ground, moves forward well, with out any major lags, or hitches.
Loch Ness without the budget
neilthefirst18 May 2002
Being a Nessie fan, I waited in anticipation to see this. The film fan in me was a little disappointed, while the film maker side was quite impressed with what was achieved on an obviously minor budget.
Sure there were plot holes. Yes, the attempts at Scottish accents were a giggle from a UK point of view (but at least they were better than Lysette Anthony trying to act). But...and not a big but...it was entertaining.
It moved at a reasonable pace, the script was not the worst I've seen on the screen and the effects were comparable to TV FX.
All in all, I can think of worse ways to spend a few hours.
Worth a viewing...and don't compare it to Godzilla.
Sure there were plot holes. Yes, the attempts at Scottish accents were a giggle from a UK point of view (but at least they were better than Lysette Anthony trying to act). But...and not a big but...it was entertaining.
It moved at a reasonable pace, the script was not the worst I've seen on the screen and the effects were comparable to TV FX.
All in all, I can think of worse ways to spend a few hours.
Worth a viewing...and don't compare it to Godzilla.
One the worst films ever!
beardsleythesaint13 March 2006
Wow this is a truly excrementious film! For any movie fan watching this is the equivalent of being force fed a cold bowl of sick. After flicking through the TV channels I found this and unwittingly decided to give it a go once I noticed that Vernon 'Bennett' Wells was in it. Within a matter of seconds I realised my will to live was being drained by this ungodly creation. All those involved should hang themselves or their heads in shame. It's about the Loch Ness yet it's blatantly not filmed in Scotland and I don't think anyone of the cast has been to Scotland, let alone comes from there! The accents are atrocious, but there are so many other things that will leave the viewer opened mouthed at the sheer crapness of it all.
Avoid like the plague!!!
Avoid like the plague!!!
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