American Pie 2 (2001)

Alyson Hannigan: Michelle Flaherty

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michelle : Now don't freak out I'm gonna do something to push your threshold.

  Jim : Okay, now. Oh, that's cold! What are you doing?

  Michelle : I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun?

  Jim : Okay, I think you've just crossed my threshold.

• Michelle's Friend : You are so sweet. He *is* special.

  Michelle : He's my bitch.

• Michelle : [from a deleted scene]  Its just like this one time at band camp.

  Jim : Ah, Michelle I've been to band camp, it's not all what its cracked up to be.

• Michelle : Okay, pretend I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?

  Jim : I want to feel your boobs.

  Michelle : No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.

• Michelle : This one time... um, here.

• Michelle : Holy potatoes.

• Jim : Was I any good that night?

  Michelle : Jeez how could I forget? You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible?

  Jim : I'm sorry, "terrible?"

  Michelle : I've had worse.

  Jim : Oh.

  Michelle : Oh, sorry. I just... ah... I could give you some pointers. If you want.

• [Jim is kissing Michelle's collar bone] 

  Michelle : Good Jim. Ooh, you're making me wet.

  Jim : Holy shit, really?

  Michelle : No, I was just saying that so you could practice.

  Jim : 'course.

• Jim : This is good. This is good. Obviously.

  Michelle : Oh! Gilligan's Island, Mr. Howell!

  Jim : Eh, what?

  Michelle : You've gotta control yourself and think of something non-sexual. I haven't even touched you yet and you're turning into the Sears Tower.

• Michelle : You didn't think I was weird because of the way I acted that night?

  Jim : Weird, no. Surprising, yes.

  Michelle : I get nasty when I'm horny.

• Michelle : Your main problem is - is that you're so uptight. Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No! The biggest point I could give you is you have to feel comfortable in any situation.

• Michelle : Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then. We can finish lessons.

  Jim : Alright.

  Michelle : [leaves]  Oh!

  [returns for a kiss] 

  Michelle : Pointer: less tongue.