The New Guy (2002)

DJ Qualls: Dizzy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Luther : High school is a lot like prison: Bad food, high fences; the sex you want, you ain't gettin', the sex you gettin', you don't want. I've seen terrible things.

  Dizzy : Yesterday, an eighty-year-old librarian broke my penis.

  Luther : You win.

• Coach : You stole my horse, maggot! Do you know what the penalty is in this state for stealing another man's horse?

  Dizzy/Gil : Death?

  Coach : This isn't Iraq, son.

• Dizzy : Did we give up when Pearl Harbor was bombed?

  Football player #72 : Hey, I thought that movie made money.

• Courtney : You wanna' come upstairs with me?

  Dizzy : Um... I...

  Courtney : You wanna' make out with me?

  Dizzy : Uh... oh well...

  Courtney : Wanna' take my clothes off with your teeth?

  Dizzy : [silence] 

  Courtney : Ok, you talked me into it!

  [as she moves towards the building] 

  Courtney : Aren't you coming?

  Dizzy : Almost...

• Dizzy/Gil : Who's da bitch now?

• Tina : Didn't they tie you up last year and make you wear rubber breasts?

  Dizzy : You remember, that's really sweet! You know I've been thinking. We're seniors now, and um, maybe sometime if you wanted to drink coffee, you know, um, near me... I would pay!

  Tina : Truthfully, you're not my...

  Dizzy : Type.

• Kirk : My dad loves this bike more than he loves me.

  Dizzy : That's not true.

  Kirk : Yeah it is. He wrote it in my birthday card.

• Danielle : I don't even know what to call you.

  Dizzy/Gil : Broke-dick seems to be popular.

• Connor : What are you doing, freak?

  Dizzy : Knocking you into the hall, and me into the history books.

• Dizzy/Gil : Don't make me do crazy eyes...

• Dizzy : The point is, today nobody stuffed me in my locker or singed off my ass hair.

• Dizzy : At least as blips we were invisible. If you break your dick in front of the whole school, people remember that.

• Dizzy : We're not playing Everquest, Kirk, we're on planet Earth.

• Kiki Pierce : [to Dizzy's dad]  I'm afraid your son has Tourettes Syndrome.

  Dizzy : Are you out of your fucking mind?

• Mr. Undine : We got a homecoming dance coming up in a month or so and it has been the most god-awful experience for everyone involved, right Coach?

  [Coach winces] 

  Mr. Undine : Do you have any ideas on how we might turn this thing around?

  Dizzy/Gil : Good music?

  Mr. Undine : [Enlightened]  Music! Hey, that is a fantastic idea, son. You see that? Hey!

• Dizzy : [stealing the mic from the Gospel preacher]  Ladies and gentleman! Brothers and sisters! I'd like to talk to you all about sex! The devil's middle name, sex! You know what the best form of sexual abstinence is? Being me. Can I get an amen?

  Nora : Amen!

  Dizzy : You wanna talk about some pain? Lemme hear ya! You wanna talk about pain?

  Gospel Singer : That boy's got the spirit.

  Reverend : He's an idiot.

  Dizzy : If ever a member of the opposite sex ever told you you are not her type...

  Crowd : AMEN!

  Dizzy : Let me hear you shout amen-ah! If you ever had duct tape-ah ripped off-ah your naked buttocks-ah...

  Crowd : AMEN!

  Dizzy : Let me hear you shout amen. If you ever had your manhood right-angled in front of the entire congregation, now let me hear you shout amen!

• Barclay : Yo, freak. What are you doing?

  Dizzy : Talking, exchanging words, having an innocent conversation.

  Barclay : Innocent? Then what's this?

  [Barclay shows Tina Dizzy's boner] 

  Tina : Oh my god that's disgusting!