Kenan & Kel: Two Heads Are Better Than None (2000 TV Movie)

Kel Mitchell: Kel Kimble

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kel Kimble : [singing]  12 bottles of orange soda on the wall! Twelve bottles of orange soda! Take one down, pass it around! ELEVEN BOTTLES OF ORANGE SODDDDAAAAA ON THE WAAAAAAAALLLL! Awe...

  Kenan Rockmore : What, that's it?

  Kel Kimble : What?

  Kenan Rockmore : You're just gonna stop at eleven?

  Kel Kimble : Yeah!

  Kenan Rockmore : You mean we had to sit through 'A Million Bottles of Orange Soda on the Wall' and you're just gonna stop at eleven? You're not even gonna finish?

  Kel Kimble : Yeah, I'm tired of that song.

• Kenan Rockmore : What's cookin', man?

  Kel Kimble : Sticks. Want some?

  [takes a bite] 

  Kenan Rockmore : No, I prefer to eat things that are food.

• Kel Kimble : [Roger finishes a very high-pitched version of "Home on the Range"]  Man, that stunk.

  Kenan Rockmore : No, Kel, that didn't stunk... it was just... seriously freaky!

• Kel Kimble : [Walking to Rockville]  Can't... can't... go on... must... must have... water!... I'm too thirsty. Kenan... go on... without me!

  [Collapses] 

  Kenan Rockmore : [Turns, revealing that they are three feet from the car]  Could we get some water here, please?

• Kel Kimble : Are we there yet? Are we? I'm tired. My legs hurt. Can I go to the bathroom? Roger, you smell like gas. I need to go to the bathroom. Aw! I really do. Where are we? Can we turn on the radio? I'm bored.

  Kenan Rockmore : KEL! Can you please be quiet? You are not making this awful ride any easier.

  Kel Kimble : I'm bored.

• Roger Rockmore : Do I look like a mechanic?

  Kel Kimble : Well, is a mechanic big, bald, and acrimonious?

  Roger Rockmore : Will you be quiet?

  Kel Kimble : Acrimonious!

• Kel Kimble : [hears footsteps behind him] 

  Kel Kimble : Kenan, please tell me one of us lost our shoes back there.

• Kel Kimble : [In the Weird Museum]  Look, Kenan-it's Dennis Rodman's head... made out of meat!

  Kenan Rockmore : ...Why?

• Kel Kimble : Goodnight, Kenan.

  Kenan Rockmore : Oh, please don't say that word. I don't wanna hear of a goodnight, badnight, headless knight, no knight!

  Kel Kimble : Hey, how do you suppose he chops off the people's heads?

  Kenan Rockmore : Don't know! Go to sleep!

  Kel Kimble : A knife, or a sword? or with scissors? Nah, nah. Scissors would take too long.

  Kenan Rockmore : Please stop talking! Just, rest.

  Kel Kimble : Hey, you know what? What does he do with the bodies after he's done eating them? Like, where does he put the bones, I mean because...

  Kenan Rockmore : Enough!

  Kel Kimble : They probably just...

  Kenan Rockmore : I don't wanna hear about the headless knight chopping off people's heads or what he does with the bones or what kind of car he drives! I don't wanna talk about him.

  Kel Kimble : Alright... nighty night night.

• Kenan Rockmore : Okay, I was standing right here, and he was standing, over there.

  Roger Rockmore : Well maybe he had to get back to his castle, or slay a dragon!

  Kenan Rockmore : Daddy I'm telling the truth!

  Kel Kimble : I believe you, Kenan, even if you are lying.

• Kenan Rockmore : Okay, it says that it's 10 miles to Rockville, Rockville, yeah.

  Kel Kimble : Rockville? Oh man that's the evil town! That's where the Headless Knight lives! That's the place the man told us to stay away from!

• Kenan Rockmore : Didn't you bring anything?

  Kel Kimble : Let me see.

  [opens a suitcase, takes a suitcase out of it and opens it up] 

  Kenan Rockmore : Why did you pack suitcases inside of other suitcases?

  Kel Kimble : Case I lost one.

  Kenan Rockmore : Ah, stupid me. Well what's in that one?

  Kel Kimble : Orange soda and an umbrella.

  Kenan Rockmore : That's it? I mean you packed the umbrella but you didn't pack no drawers?

  Kel Kimble : I don't think underwear would come in handy during a rain storm, Kenan.

• [while the Rockmores and Kel are camping] 

  Kel Kimble : [telling a ghost story]  When the bread popped out of the toaster, no one knew what to put on it jelly, margarine, cinnamon-sugar. I suggested butter, crumbs were everywhere...

  Kenan Rockmore : [interrupting Kel]  Man! He said let's tell *ghost stories*, not *toast stories*!

  Kel Kimble : I don't know any ghost stories!