Cheerleader Ninjas (2002) User Reviews

There Are Better Cheerleader Films

[Skeeter700 · 4/10 · 29 April 2000]

This movie was made for me. Cheerleaders + Ninjas = AWESOME!

This is a totally low budget film. It makes Crawlers seem like Titanic. I'm sure I could have backed it. This movie is so low budget the only way you can get it right now is to order a copy from the director. This is exactly what I did after hearing it featured Cheerleader Ninjas vs. Catholic School Girl Bullies. Sweet!

In the movie The Catholic School P.T.A. decides that the influence of Internet erotica is too much for their little town. After some surfing they decide cheerleaders are behind most of this stuff - after all they are on a lot of the sites out there. Their attack is twofold. Its like something Napoleon would come up with. They get the bully girls in the Catholic School to harass the cheerleaders and hire an Internet guru to blackout all those 'bad girl' Internet sites.

After being pushed around by the bad Catholic School girls the Cheerleaders fight back. They go to a ninja master and learn the art like good grasshoppers. Soon afterwards, they are joined by a band of Computer Geeks fighting to protect the only access to hot women the have: the net. This all leads up to a big show down.

Overall this movie is o.k. I mean the premise is cool. But it is not what I expected. I was thinking it might be like The Cheerleaders, or Amazons, or Christine's Addiction, or Buda. But no. The only busty scene is played for comedy. I'd say there are too many fart jokes too. Considering the fact that this is kinda a big home movie more then a movie, Skeeter will give this one a 4 for 10. Everett Hartsoe puts out similar but better stuff with a similar budget.

I was expecting bad, but...

[VonCouch · 2/10 · 12 February 2005]

...damn.

This "film" looks like it was done by a high school journalism class. It seems to never know if it wants to go porno or comedy. There really is nothing to save this film. The story is something about computers and cheerleaders. I think the cheerleaders are whores and that ticks off moms or something. So they send other bigger whores to beat the hell out of the cheerleader whores. And I think there's a bomb defused at the end. Plus it has gay guys. It's movies like this that make me sad that someone financed it.

The only reason it gets one above the lowest is because it made me chuckle once. And if you ever ask me in public if that happened, I swear to God I'll deny it up and down.

Might be worth seeing once

[Random439 · 3/10 · 10 May 2005]

I rented this movie on a whim and it started off pretty good. Unfortunately, things went downhill from there and it went from being funny bad movie to being a "kind of painful and only occasionally funny" bad movie. There was some good nudity in it, but those scenes were spoiled by the camera cutting away to some nerd fantasizing or some other crap. If it's really late, and there's nothing else on, and you're really bored, you might as well give it a shot. Heck, if you have a free rental and you like crappy movies that know they're crappy and have some fun with themselves, you might like this okay... just keep you hand on the fast-forward button. Also, there are WAY too many fart and masturbation jokes and the movie tends to drag out towards the end.

Overall, I give it a 3 out of 10. (On my scale of 10 being perfection and 1 being Ang Lee's Hulk.)

Enter the Farce!

[pumaye · 22 February 2004]

An irresistible farce, this movie is really a force!! A good mixture of genres, with some very good jokes, a few of them missing the point, but usually good. The story is real thin, but the acting is better than you may think for such a low budget effort, the girls are nice to look at (there is also a nude cameo of everyone favorite, Kira Reed), a few of the guys are fun; there is a sophomoric atmosphere all over the movie, making it fun to watch if you are in the mood. Thumbs up!

grotesquely bad

[Banzaemon · 1/10 · 22 June 2006]

I love watching bad movies and laughing thru them. i couldn't laugh at this. its just horrific. the jokes are painful, almost all of them involve farting which usually stops being funny after 6 years old. random nudity was the best bit, the worst was the spoofing of other films, the gay guys horrible acting, the bad sound, fuzzy picture, rat-ass acting, insanley cringeable sound effects, rubbish visual effects and shaz-house-rat plot. worst film I've ever seen, a title previousley held by the invisible maniac. its total crap. avoid. it took two hours of my life. i want them back.

Sometimes i wish IMDb would let us give zero stars.

God Awful...

[Graham-38 · 1/10 · 23 April 2004]

The most important thing to remember here is that this is not a well done movie. Now, I've seen bad films, like Ghost Ship, and Dark Waters, but this is different. It's almost like it is a high school student making this film with all his friends and neighbors in it. I was glad I saw it, as it has set the benchmark for years. Rent it if you want, but realize that the title is the best part about it.

I too wanted to give this half a star. Oh, and this Kevin Campbell guy is amazing. The fact that RCN carries this in On Demand is some sort of coup.

I think 10 dollars, a polaroid and some of my worst enemies could make a better film than this.

the worst movie I have ever seen

[mjl927 · 1/10 · 27 October 2004]

I just want to know how this movie happened. I didn't see any references to Troma in the credits.

I had previously considered Astrozombies the worst movie I had ever seen, but it was bad-funny. Lots of long boring scenes that dragged on for no apparent reason. Cheerleader Ninjas looked promising mostly because of the title and there was not a girl in her underwear on the box. I thought maybe they would go for more of a ninja-type thing. I was very wrong.

I was honestly shocked at how bad the acting was - I've seen community theater that was exceptional compared to this. I did find the use of a body double for the main character somewhat funny because I can't imagine how the stand-in could have been a worse actress. (I kind of feel bad criticizing others so harshly, but it was like they weren't even trying.)

Actually, I don't want to reflect too much on how bad the movie was, just try to warn others so that they might not suffer the same fate as me.

On second thought, it might be worth watching for young teenage boys who can't afford to rent porn and really feel the need to see naked women - no, I think they would even be disappointed.

wow. what a waste of media.

[putz3333 · 1/10 · 2 March 2004]

i can proudly say i didn't rent this. my buddies rented this film and made me watch it. it was by far the worst movie i have ever seen. the fight scenes were done with inflatable dolls. the special effects looked like they were done by grade school children. and the only redeeming factor was the nudity which does not make up for all that is lacking in this movie. the acting was horrible as well as was the humor. the parody of the power rangers was very annoying after 3 or more spots in the movie. the soundtrack seemed like it was ripped from a collection of atari games. the star trek references got old after the 2nd jab. and the potty humor was very tiring.

Beyond Pathetic

[alansmithee04 · 1/10 · 14 March 2004]

This poorly filmed collection of already overused gags completely lacks anything that might possibly be construed as entertainment. It's not bad-funny, it's not good-funny, it's not anything-funny. It's the complete absence of funny.

Did I mention it's not funny?

In comparison, watching floor wax dry is a moving intellectual experience. If there is any justice in the universe, everyone concerned with this alleged film, their relatives, friends, passing acquaintances and orthodontists will accrue massively negative karma and eventually be collectively re-incarnated as Dom DeLuis' loofah.

The worst movie in existence would be an understatement...

[coasters2k · 1/10 · 17 June 2004]

Imagine back to when you were 11 years old. Now imagine if you were given a $200 camcorder, permission to film in your parent's garage and on their front lawn, the incredible special effects of a kaleidoscope, and a few 'actresses' taken straight off the 'Girls Gone Wild: Too Ugly to Air' video. It's feasible that the end result could be better than this horrible waste of VHS tapes and DVD discs.

Let me precede this by stating that I usually enjoy bad movies. Low budget, horribly written films often entertain me albeit if only by unintentional comedic value. That said, Cheerleader Ninjas is a movie that's not only terrible, it's also not the least bit entertaining or humorous. Not only did I not laugh once, but a good portion of the film was spent of me asking, 'What the hell is going on?' To say there were plot holes would be inferring that there was a plot, and it's obvious there isn't one.

I acknowledge that the movie wasn't meant to be taken serious, but it couldn't even pull that off right. Not one second of this 96 minute torture device was funny, and the 'writers' seemed to know it (you have to use the term 'writer' loosely here, for it insinuates that the movie was written before filmed). To get a minimal amount of the audience to sit through it, they wrote in pointless fantasy scenes in which a random girl takes her top off for whatever reason. Not to mention Kangaroo Jack has been beaten for the number of fart jokes within a movie, for Cheerleader Ninjas has one in *EVERY SINGLE SCENE*.

In conclusion, do not see this movie. Yes it's a bad movie, yes it's a horrific atrocity of a movie, but not the good way. Most bad movies are so bad they in fact become entertaining, but this one failed even in that way. Instead it relies on fart jokes, boobs, and an inane storyline about the internet or something. The hour and a half spent watching Cheerleader Ninjas could better be spent in a number of more enjoyable ways: sleeping, staring into the sun, playing Russian roulette, etc… Do. Not. See. This. Movie.

How low can you Go?

[inoxius · 1/10 · 18 March 2004]

This is some of the worst crap I have ever layed my eyes on... I think that a 5 year old in kindergarden could write a better script, and that using only charcole and paint.

It's movies (or is it even a movie?) like this who makes people download movies from the net. Had I bought the movie, I would have been sad for the rest of my life (Yes, It's THAT bad.....)

But if i should come up with something thats "good" about this movie, it must be the reference to Star Trek and the shirts the "Geeks" are wearing.

Now I'm off watching Zombies 94 or Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer (Hey at least it's got a point ;-)

The Best Film About Cheerleading Ninjas You'll Ever See

[gavin6942 · 8/10 · 9 April 2007]

The Hamsters don't let the evil Stephen on to their cheerleading squad. So he recruits the girls from Blessed Virgin Sacrifice to help stop them (from doing what, I'm not sure) and to take over all the Internet. Will cheerleaders team up with geeks to save the Internet and cheerleading?

I saw this film through a bunch of clips on YouTube and just had to go and rent it a few days later (so anyone who says YouTube doesn't make money for people is wrong). I was not disappointed. In fact ,the preview was pretty awful compared to the film.

The film is just one joke after another, with the occasion breast or rear end thrown in (and sometimes more, thanks to guest star Kira Reed). The acting and filming style are very much in the Troma style (and I'm surprised they didn't release this after "Teenage Catgirls in Heat") and the jokes are pretty bad. But so bad they're good, in my opinion.

If there's such a thing as the perfect low budget comedy, this is it. Emphasis on the "low budget". But what did you expect when you picked this up? Bad acting, bad plot and cheerleaders with swords. You'll get exactly what you expect. So don't complain.

Really awesome and funny B (or even C) movie!

[willuknight · 7/10 · 18 January 2007]

My flatmate and I just finished watching this.

We were expecting it to be so stupid it was awful/funny, but the movie was so purposely awful, it was amazingly awesome.

We're both really impressed with your creative imagination, and the appallingly intentional stupidity of this movie, well done :D Anyone that says this movie isn't a good movie, obviously misses the entire point. ITS NOT MEANT TO BE GOOD, HAVE BELIEVABLE CHARACTERS, OR A REALISTIC PLOT! Well done, and that was one of the funniest movies i've watched in a long time, way better then any big Hollywood movie in the last 5 years!

oh. my. god.

[sunshinelt84 · 1/10 · 6 June 2005]

I know there are a lot of people out there looking for terrible movies to watch, because they have great comedic value...this is not one of them. This goes way beyond awful into the realm of what the hell is going on; I considered vomiting. There is a limit to the amount of masturbation jokes that a person can stand. Making fun of trekkies is fine by me, but it wasn't even funny in this movie...and the girls are truly hideous, the acting is terrible, the plot is...nonexistent. Plus it's pretty much porn (but poorer quality), which is certainly not obvious from the movie case. I love bad movies, I really do, but don't watch this with the expectation that "it's so bad it'll be good." Because it isn't. End of story. I'd rather sit through 'Gigli' 100 times.

Utterly hilarious comedy!

[Katatonia · 26 November 2003]

POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD

This movie is nonstop raw comedy! The title alone is so ridiculous that you've just gotta love it. Cheerleader Ninjas is obviously a low budget effort, but it actually works in favor of the film. The movie reminds me of a cross between "Student Bodies" and "Kentucky Fried Movie". At times there are breaks in the film when an "announcer" comes on and cracks a commentary joke, or warning text on the screen and things like that ala John Landis comedy.

Cheerleader Ninjas doesn't take itself seriously, and some of the jokes and gags are so far gone from reality that you just can't help but chuckle at them. This isn't the best comedy movie ever made by far, but I was literally laughing out loud while watching the movie. The acting is actually quite good for a comedy movie. I doubt many of these people were actually career aspiring actors, but they did a good job in my opinion.

If you don't like really rough humor with many adult jokes and situations then you probably won't like the movie. But, if you enjoy edgy comedy that's so off the wall that's it's ludicrous, then this is the movie to see. During the course of the film almost nothing is left to make fun of. We have: Militant Catholics bent on bringing down the perverse Internet, A petroleum jelly obsessed pack of Trekkie computer nerds, A Kentucky hillbilly who wants to be a cheerleader, A homosexual cheerleader hater in league with the Catholics who would like nothing less than genocide of all cheerleaders, Sean Connery naked???, William Shatner Beer & Chips???, etc...... You get the picture, there's a lot of really, really, silly stuff in Cheerleader Ninjas. Highly recommended only for those who enjoy "Hard R-Rated" comedy.

WARNING: Quite a few situations of nudity and female blow up dolls in this movie!

Embarrassingly bad.

[Glurrk · 1/10 · 13 February 2004]

There is not one redeeming quality about this thing that tries to pass itself off as a movie. For starters, it is one of those "self-aware" films that uses cutesy humor to show the viewer how clever it thinks it is. It also manages to be offensive to women, homosexuals, teenagers, African-Americans, the Catholic Church, and many others. On a technical level, it is totally inept. It seems the filmmakers never got over rejection in high school and decided to strike back at their imagined tormentors. Get over it, guys. The bottom line? If you can stomach over 90 minutes of fart jokes and moronic sound effects, then by all means throw your money away on this cinematic abomination.

The worst movie I have ever seen

[dberg-5 · 1/10 · 27 May 2005]

I have seen a lot of movies and this is by FAR the worst I ever seen. My wife and I couldn't stop watching it out of disbelief. I must admit we laughed a lot because it was so bad. If your looking for nudity, there is plenty but I've seen a lot better. The computer geeks are portrayed by having guys wear Star Trek uniforms. As far as I could tell, the "star" Kira Reed doesn't even play a character, just a body double in a fantasy scene.

Once in a while I like to look for the worst looking title I can find because bad movies make you appreciate everything else in life more. If you ever feel like watching a grade C movie, this is a must see. Also try and find "Hillbillies In A Haunted House".

Not even boobs make this watchable!

[richardscd · 1/10 · 18 March 2005]

On an impulse, my roommate and I rented this from the local Hollywood video. We thought it might be funny or at least somewhat enjoyable to watch ninja cheerleaders chop off some people's heads or something. But no. No. This was not enjoyable. It was, I must say, the WORST Piece of trash I have ever seen. I sat through Gigli; I suffered through Cutthroat Island; I even made it all the way to the end of All the Pretty Horses. But none of those mockeries of film come close to the disaster that is Cheerleader Ninjas. I can't even put into words how disgusted I am that it will show up on my rental record that I saw this vile piece of human excrement. WHAT WERE WE THINKING? Save yourself. Do not, under any circumstances, rent, buy, or watch this...this...thing masquerading as a movie. Even the nudity is so horribly done that it is painful to watch. I hate this movie, so very very much, and wish I could burn every copy in existence. No wonder the terrorists hate us so much. They see movies like this and think, "These people must all die!" And in the context of this movie, I am forced to agree with them. Ugh.

Cheerleader Ninjas

[Scarecrow-88 · 2/10 · 1 August 2009]

Raunchy low budget spoof of 80's sex comedies covers an universe of tired gags and jokes. The Happy Valley Cheerleaders must contend with the disgruntled group of Blessed Virgin Reform School girls recruited by their scorned homosexual teacher(..he wanted to be a cheerleader and was denied). He has formed an unholy union with a Catholic religious nut who operates the reform school..she believes the Internet is harmful to society and wishes to destroy it forever, while also desiring to quell the sinful image of scantily clad cheerleaders in the process. Meanwhile, the cheerleaders join forces, reluctantly, with a group of geeks, obsessed with Star Wars and Star Trek(..dressed in masks and uniforms)who must stop a zombie internet computer virus arranged by the homosexual teacher thanks in part to his partnership with a mysterious mastermind, Mr. X who wishes to take over the world.

Looking like it was made for little or nothing, Cheerleader Ninjas drags the well for water that has been vapor for quite a long period of time. The zingers and sight gags on display are cringe-inducing instead of funny-bone tickling. Don't let the nifty cover fool you, the scrumptious Kira Reed isn't a ninja(..the whole reason I rented this to begin with)and the fight sequences are phenomenally lame. I imagine those who rent this will walk away as incredibly bored and disgusted as I was, expecting far more than we were rewarded. Sure, Kira Reed gets naked for us, but I can rent some of her soft-core erotica for that pleasure.

The cast tries with all their might to make worn out material work. I can see how the filmmakers wanted to create a lovingly goofy ode to those teen sex comedies we all know and love, but it has all been tread ad nausea. A parade of stereotypes are on display..the cheerleaders, Star Trek geeks, Catholic school girl sluts, flamboyantly gay teacher aching with rejection, and uptight fanatical religious nut all share screen time and remain in costume. It has, surprising enough, gained a cult following. Should remain a Bottom 100 IMDb mainstay for years to come.

Hurts so good.

[cpeters1987 · 2/10 · 6 May 2007]

If you find some things to be so stupid that they're hilarious, then this movie is for you. That is the point of this movie. However, if you rented/bought this movie expecting it to be a conventional comedy, then I recommend that you never rent/buy a comedy that has Ninja or Cheerleader in the title, let alone some combination of the two. I gave the movie a 2 because awful implies that it should never be watched under any circumstance. Cheerleader Ninjas is a solid choice if you're in Blockbuster and want to find the cheesiest movie they have. Going on a rant about how bad this movie was is a waste of breath. Also, if you could not tell by the title, the humor is very immature which can be a plus or a minus depending on your taste.

NO

[BandSAboutMovies · 2/10 · 2 June 2023]

Four Happy Valley High Hamsters cheerleaders, led by Angela (Angela Brubaker), have been by a church group for everything bad about the internet. They hire a gay teacher named Steven (Jeff Nicholson, who created the comic book Ultra Klutz) to train a group of Catholic school girls to take their place. He's also working with Mr. X (Donr Sneed) who is turning all internet users into zombies.

The girls turn to the nerds, led by Maverick (Jared Brubaker), who are able to teach the girls how to be ninjas.

Director and writer Kevin Campbell directed an entire series of VHS how-to model kit videos in the 90s like Video Workbench: How to Build Science Fiction Models and Video Workbench: How to Build Car Models. Just last year, he came back to directing and made an internet referencing slasher called Back Slash.

Probably the reason why most guys watched this was because Kira Reed was in it. She's also in Amityville Witches, Chained Heat 2001: Slave Lovers, Playboy's Sexcetera and was an early internet adult star. Nearly all of the nudity in this movie comes from her.

As you can imagine, this is one of those films that sets out to be bad and overdelivers.

This is not Ninja Cheerleaders.

because mentally retarded people need movies too

[movieman_kev · 1/10 · 28 April 2007]

Super gay Stephen joins forces with catholic schoolgirl ninjas to fight dumb as rock cheerleaders because they didn't let him be a cheerleader in this beyond retarded little waste of celluloid. The word subtle is seemingly not in the vocabulary of writer/ director Kevin Capbell as the humor is deathly obvious and painfully unfunny. At 96 minutes long, the only few people that will be able to sit through this steaming pile of excrement are avowed masochists. Awful with a capital A, if anyone actually derives any entertainment in the least from this (and I'm very hesitant to use this next word) film, I'd NEVER want to meet them during my travels, if only for the reason that they'd in all likelihood end up drooling all over my shoes.

My Grade: F-

Eye Candy: Kira Reed, Angela Brubaker, and Alissa Shanley get topless

Tna and juvenile humour galore

[manimal347 · 9/10 · 4 October 2006]

Why all the hate? I think it is a brilliant film, well worth the rental price. When my VHS tape wears out (cheap vcrs's..), I'll probably buy the DVD! So yes, it's juvenile. Maybe your too old too like the film? The only real complaint I have about the film is that all the computer related plot stuff is about ten years out of date! Only real nerds will get half the stuff now adays, like Usenet and SLIP accounts.

About the content, yeah, it is pretty ribald. Lots of masturbation humour and TNA galore. Kinda like super soft core porn, sans X rating.

In any case this film is the perfect rental for a horny B-movie loving fifteen year old.

A great spoof

[dwaltz6969 · 7/10 · 22 May 2005]

I have been reading the negative comments on this film and all I can say is that they must be a pack of humorless folks. Hot girls in tight fitting cheerleader and parochial school uniforms. Plenty of breasts and low brow humor. Geeks galore and giant robots wiping their butt with The Enterprise from Star Trek. What more can you ask for? It ain't a classic, but it's still a lot of fun to watch and the dialogue is hilarious. Cheerleader Ninjas is welcome at my house anytime. The acting is above standard for this kind of film and we get to see Kira Reed in all her natural glory. Plus the guy who plays Chubby's older brother is funnier than Hell. Go Cheerleader Ninjas!

A welcome return to a neglected genre

[deheor · 7/10 · 17 August 2005]

Cheerleader Ninjas is funny. That one sentence should be enough but I am afraid more has to be said. Cheerleader Ninjas is also Politically Incorrect, Gleefully stupid and filmed on no budget whatsoever. But did I mention its funny? The Cheerleaders of Happy Valley High are targeted for destruction by a Catholic mothers group who consider them a prime example of the moral decay of society. After the Mothers hire the villainous Stephen and his private army of catholic school girls, the cheerleaders are forced to join forces with the school nerds to prevent a massive computer virus from destroying the internet. Okay the plot is lame but this film is a hoot in the style of the Jack Hill cheerleaders films of the 70's. But of course anyone who watches a movie called Cheerleader Ninjas does not really have the right to complain about it being stupid anyway. The title should be a clear warning of exactly the type of film you are going to get.

Kevin Campbell has written a surprisingly sharp screenplay considering it is difficult to make a film that send ups and still works within a genre and this film walks that fine line expertly.

The acting is very good considering the obvious budget limitations with the nerds being an especially likable group. The cheerleaders are cute and funny but the best in show winner is Stephen the Cheerleader hating teacher. The explanation of the origin of his grudge is one of the film highlights.

Despite the presence of Kira Reed there is very little sexual content in this film, instead of relying on nudity the director lets the humour carry the film.

I highly recommend this to anyone who does not have a stick shoved up their , well, you know the rest.