Miss Congeniality (2000)

William Shatner: Stan Fields

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stan Fields : Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.

  Cheryl "Rhode Island" : That's a tough one. I'd have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

• Stan Fields : What is the one most important thing our society needs?

  Gracie Hart : That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan.

  [crowd is silent] 

  Gracie Hart : And world peace!

  [crowd cheers ecstatically] 

  Stan Fields : Thank you, Gracie Lou.

  Gracie Hart : And thank *you*, Stan.

  [Gracie walks offstage] 

  Victor Melling : That was charming. Are you drunk?

  Gracie Hart : I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!

• Karen "New York" : I just want to let all the lesbians out there know: if I can make it to the top ten, so can you! Big out to Brooklyn! Yo!

  Dave the Pageant Director : Get her off of there! Go to Stan!

  Karen "New York" : [to a girl in the audience]  Tina, I love you, baby!

  Tina : Oh, Karen! I love you, Karen!

  Karen "New York" : Yo, Tina! I love you, baby!

  [Gracie, watching the scene, applauds, whoops, and nods in approval] 

  Stan Fields : And we'll be right back with our final five lesbians - interviews!

  Dave the Pageant Director : Bumper, commercial, can we say lesbians?

  Assistant Director : You got a problem with that?

• Kathy Morningside : Of course he had a gun. This is Texas, everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!

  Stan Fields : I don't have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.

• Stan Fields : Prepare for what promises to be a day of astounding musical, theatrical, and dancing talent. And after I'm finished you can see the ladies!

• Kathy Morningside : I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up.

  Stan Fields : Especially without their knowledge.

• Stan Fields : And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians - interviews!

• Eric Matthews : We recently discovered some information about the winner from New Jersey.

  Gracie Hart : And her performance in a little film called "Arma-get-it-on."

  Stan Fields : Was that her?

• [at the pageant breakfast] 

  Stan Fields : As you know, I'll be retiring this year.

  [everyone moans in sympathy] 

  Mary Jo Wright, Miss Texas : Oh, he's not retiring. I spoke to him this morning, the poor man blurted out the whole thing. They're firing him. Going for someone newer and younger. I hope it's Ricky Martin.