Fool's Fire (1992 TV Movie)

Tom Hewitt: The King

Quotes 

• Hopfrog : Never bait your better!

  The King : I'll batter your butter!

• The King : [first lines; to Hopfrog, who has entered the chamber]  My little fool... you're late!

  [Hopfrog turns away and starts to leave] 

  The King : Hopfrog!

  Hopfrog : [turns back to face the King]  Better never than late!

• The King : [at the banquet]  Animals feed, men eat but only a wise king knows the art of dining.

  Hopfrog : Yes, and fat ones pay the fine of farting!

• The King : I say there is no arse-wiper like a well-downed goose if you hold her neck between your legs! Take my word for it, you get a miracuous sensation in your arse-hole both from the softness of the down and from the temperate heat of the goose herself, and this is easily communicated to the bum, gut and the rest of the intestines from which it reaches the heart and brain!

• The King : [in the barn, while Hopfrog and Trippetta are stirring the cauldron of melting tar]  God's balls, man! It's freezing out here!

  Hopfrog : This will shake your shaking.

  Trippetta : You'll soon be warm enough, my lords.