Happy Accidents (2000)

Vincent D'Onofrio: Sam Deed

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Ruby : Murder? Oh God, Sam, murder?

  Sam Deed : It wasn't me.

  Ruby : Nobody could understand this, Sam, it's too much. It's too much.

  Sam Deed : I think it would be easier if I told you a little at a time. It would sink in a little at a time.

  Ruby : Sink in a little at a time? You... you just dropped an emotional anvil on my head. Look at me, I'm flat as a pancake.

• Sam Deed : The future isn't what it used to be...

• Sam Deed : I'm different.

  Ruby : You're gay! You're a Jew for Jesus? It's that tattoo. It's a cult. You're in a cult. You're a Branch Davidian? You're a Survivalist?

  Sam Deed : No!

  Ruby : You're a pimp and Chrystie Delancey's one of your sluts!

  Sam Deed : I am not a pimp!

• Sam Deed : [to Ruby]  That's Victor. His sister went down on the Titanic, he never stops talking about her.

  Victor : [to Jose]  My sister, she went down on the Titanic.

  Jose : [to Victor]  I know, I remember.

  Sam Deed : [to Ruby]  Old folks are great.

• Sam Deed : [Ruby is relating to her therapist what Sam said about love and time and we cut to witness it]  Your heart is like a clock measuring time and one's emotional state determines the flow of time. It speeds it up or slows it down.

  Ruby : So, time is a personal thing?

  Sam Deed : Yes. Sure.

  Ruby : Time is an emotional thing. That's what you're saying?

  Ruby : Yeah, yeah, sure. Don't bad things always seem to last longer than good ones? But good things seem to just fly by... like the best times in life.

  Ruby : Yeah...

  Sam Deed : Like what?

  Ruby : Like...

  Sam Deed : Like falling in love.

  Ruby : [Dreamy look in her eyes and tone in her voice]  Yeah...

  [Suddenly she jerks] 

  Ruby : Oh, my God! I'm late for work. I totally spaced.

  Sam Deed : See what I mean?

  Ruby : [Ruby looks at him with mixed emotions and not quite knowing what to say. She then narrates:]  That was the morning we first met.

  [We see her sweetly wave goodbye to him] 

• Sam Deed : You know, I've never told a woman the things I've told you. You are the first and... the only. You're... the one and only. You know... I... I... I feel like... ah... I feel like my whole life has just been a journey into your arms.

• Mark : Do you ever think about, like, the big issues, you know? Like, where do we come from? What are we here for?

  Sam Deed : Someday, Marko, there won't be any big questions.

  Mark : Like UFO's, all right? What are they?

  Sam Deed : They're interstellar travelers. They come from a planet called Enon from Osiris Galaxy. They stop here on Earth to fill up their nitro-carbon engines and then...

  [waves his hand] 

  Mark : ...Maybe. What about God, huh? Is there a God?

  Sam Deed : Surprisingly, yes. A Jesuit priest found 102 of them using a telepathy scope.

  Mark : ...Through a what?

  Sam Deed : A telepathy scope.

  Mark : What's a telepathy scope, dude?

• Sam Deed : I'm not from Dubuque.

  Ruby : Okay, you're not from Dubuque. So where are you from then?

  Sam Deed : Dubuque.

  Ruby : [screams] 

  Sam Deed : I'm not from Dubuque in the way you think I'm from Dubuque.

  Ruby : Well, how many ways can you be from Dubuque?

  Sam Deed : I'm not from *your* Dubuque.

  Ruby : My Dubuque? Since when is Dubuque mine. I've never even been to Ohio!

  Sam Deed : Iowa.

  Ruby : Whatever!

  Sam Deed : Look, I'm just saying that my Dubuque is different from your Dubuque.

  Ruby : How?

  Sam Deed : It doesn't exist.

  Ruby : You just said it's in Io-ho.

  Sam Deed : Iowa!

  Ruby : So *your* Dubuque doesn't exist.

  Sam Deed : Yet.

  Ruby : Yet?

  Sam Deed : Yet!

  Ruby : Yet?

  Sam Deed : Yet!

  Ruby : So when will your Dubuque exist?

  Sam Deed : ...2470 AD. That's in 471 years - from now.

• Sam Deed : When you back-travel, ya know, you go back centuries, ya know like that. The mind is a little slower. It tries to catch up, but then it gets confused and kinda throws itself into reverse, ya know? The causality of events flips and time flows backwards. But you shouldn't worry about it, okay? Because most people, they adjust in a few months.

  Ruby : Most?

  Sam Deed : Yeah. Well, ya know, for some people this gets worse until everything is in reverse all the time. Ya know, they live in a reverse world in their head until they die. Well no, die is the wrong word - until they re-enter their mother's... ya know.