- Alvin Seville: [Reacting a scene]
- Alvin Seville: I'm not the one you want Natasha, I'll only make you miserable. You want someone who wants to settle down and have a family.
- Alvin Seville: [Joining in] Don't tell me what I want Arthur! You're the only man I've ever loved... will ever love!
- Theodore: [Watching] Oh! Oh! This is when the sister comes in!
- [Acting]
- Theodore: Natasha! Natasha! Daddy's gone!
- Alvin Seville: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
- Mr. Yesman: Lovely bag! It must have costed you an arm and a leg.
- Dr. Frankenstein: Actually... an arm and *two* legs.
- Dr. Frankenstein: I am going to turn you into a mindless zombie. Have you ever seen a mindless zombie?
- Alvin Seville: Are you kidding? I live in Hollywood!
- Dr. Frankenstein: Finally - my fiendish formula is finished.
- Alvin Seville: Try saying that three times - quickly!
- Dr. Frankenstein: My finished formula is frrr... my formlest fiendula is... my fishiest formula... my fie... never mind!
- David Seville: Listen, I can understand you are under a lot of stress and that they promised to be here. But you DO NOT threaten my boys!
- Mr. Yesman: So there you have it: I'm filled with terror and self-loathing, my job is hanging by a thread and I don't have anybody to entertain at tonights world premiere party. What do you think?
- David Seville: Well, I can't help you with your bedwetting, but I can solve your entertainment problem.
- Theodore: Maybe the monster doesn't understand English.
- Simon Seville: That little glass of yours is always half full, isn't it?
- Theodore: Yeah
- [giggles, then pauses]
- Theodore: What little glass?