Maybe Baby (2000)

Joely Richardson: Lucy Bell

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lucy Bell : [writes in her diary]  Carl Phipps came into work today all brooding and Byronic. He looked like the dispossessed lord of a bleak Mooreland estate. I swear his aftershave smelled of heather.

• Lucy Bell : [reading]  Samuel Bell: sperm test. 30% sluggish.

  Sam Bell : Sluggish? Is that the word they use?

  [Lucy nods] 

  Sam Bell : Well, couldn't they have found a nicer way of putting it? Like relaxed or unhurried? Relaxed, laid back sperm I can handle, but sluggish?

  Lucy Bell : Motility poor.

  Sam Bell : Oh, that is just an outrageous slur!

  Lucy Bell : 41% swimming in the wrong direction.

  Sam Bell : They're in a plastic pot! How are they supposed to know what the right direction is?

• Lucy Bell : [about Sam's sperm test]  Conclusion...

  Sam Bell : I've got slack, stupid sperm. That's the bloody conclusion. The stuff's been dawdling back up my dick all these years, bumping into each other, getting their abnormal tails tangled.

• Mr. James : Mr. Puter here is a medical student. You don't mind if he observes, do you?

  Lucy Bell : [voice-over]  Oh, no there's nothing I like more than a gormless, adolescent youth peering into my splayed vagina!

  [out loud] 

  Lucy Bell : No, not at all.

• Mr. James : [completing a gynecological exam]  Try to relax if you can, Lucy.

  Lucy Bell : [voice-over]  Stick a traffic cone up your arse mate and see if you can relax.

  [out loud] 

  Lucy Bell : I will try.

• Sam Bell : Lucy, if I have to serve a life sentence for what I did, can't I at least serve it with you?

  Lucy Bell : Is that a line from your new screen play?

  Sam Bell : No... well yes, but I still mean it.

• Sam Bell : [seeing each other for the first time in months]  You look wonderful.

  Lucy Bell : You look like Rasputin.

• Lucy Bell : I hope Dick and Debbie know what I'm going through for them.

  Sam Bell : Well, you can tell them some day.

  Lucy Bell : There's only a one in five chance.

  Sam Bell : Lucy, any child of yours would be one in a million.